but that doesnt mean ill get together with you hell, if i just wanted great sex id go out with a hooker after all, with all due respect to you and your vast experience in this world, I have no doubt that she'd bonk my brains out much better than you ever could miss arad sex IS important but so is EVERYTHING ELSE in a relationship you cannot seperate things that way if youve tried everything and its not working then move on there will always be something that isnt exactly the way you like it his haircut, his performance, his excessive chest hair etc etc its all a question of how much you are prepared to compromise and how much you are prepared to focus on the good stuff instead of whining about all the bad stuff

What a load of rubbish. If anything, its the other way round. If things are good in a relationship, then the good sex will follow. Good sex doesnt create love, it creates orgasm. I've had good sex with many people without any love or trust or relationship hapiness.

If it's somewhere between her poopick and her butt, after reading this article I nominate her bunghole. "What's communication if not his knowledge of what you want every second of the day?" Yikes. Arad sounds like the ultimate in high maintenance detached-from-reality nightmares!

did I lose something in translation? This article was all over the place. Lots of blaming. Maybe your sex issues are...uh...yours

The closest thing I've seen to pure famale chauvinism. Does Arad claim to know what her partner wants every minute of HIS day? What a self-centered mixed up narcissist.

There is not an easy answer, she is right. If sex is good that is sign of everything else is good too. If she come to me I show her something she never regret.

Its not he issue of sex you may want to consider. You may want to think about how comfortable one is with one's self, in one's own skin.

Jewish women don't think like her. She can't possibly be Jewish

LOOK AT BILL CLINTON WITH HIS MONICA.. THEN LOOK AT EHUD OLMERT WITH HIS ISRAEL THEY BOTH DID THE SAME THING, MONICA AND ISRAEL GOT IT .............AND GAVE IT THIS AUTHOR IS THE EXAMPLE OF ISRAELI MINDS TODAY..... AND THE PUBLISHERS ORDER OF WORTHINESS....... ISRAEL CAN COUNT THE DAYS OF SURVIVAL ...UNLESS WE CHANGE OUR WAYS DACON9

Your problem is very real and the frustration goes even beyond what you describe. But the real problem is rooted in your very earliest mother-experience where your mother permitted you as an infant to attach yourself to her - but she never attached herself to you. So the repertoire of your experiences with attachment does not include your body being the focus of the libidinal attentions of another. This means that you have not the experience of attachment, oneness, wellbeing,and the security of true bonding which the infant normally records to re-experience when you are, as an adult, sexually secured to another body. But there are ways to overcome this problem. All the best.

"What's communication if not his knowledge of what you want every second of the day? And if those two things put together aren't love, then I don't know what is! " I cannot agree less with Karin's Arad's article, "Sex is Everything", and her statement above sums it all up. No person is able to know what another wants every second of the day. The idea is proposterous. Maybe that is why "there has never been a man that hasn't insulted me with his lack of dedication, and his ignorance of my needs, and I've never met a man I could count on not to hurt me." She sounds impossible to please. I agree that sex is important in a relationship, and without good sex the relationship will completely deteriorate. But that is where committment comes in. And work. Which she apparently know nothing about since she has always "been dissapointed."

Wow. This passes for journalism, culture, and/or social commentary? Sounds more like the rantings of a hopeless misanthrope. Communicate, Ms. Arad. Tell or show your love what you want! The poor man/men in your life must really tire of putting everything on the line every time in bed with you. Arad: NOT LIKE THAT! YOU DIDN"T MAKE ME ORGASM, YOU INSENSITIVE, UNCARING TROGLODYTE! Man: [Whimper] I'm so sorry, my little brussel sprout. Mr. Happy is feeling a little sick today, and Mr. Slurpy has frostbite from that popsicle. I'll try to do better next time, my little buttercup. Really, I will! Please forgive me!

Sex is easier for men than for women. Men always have orgasms, and many women really have to learn to do the right thing or to show their partners how to do the right thing. One reader wrote, Jewish women don thtink like this. Yes they do, in Israel. here in France, Jewish girls are moroccan and tunisian japs...they are into shopping, not sex. In Israel, the hell with shopping. Why do israeli women have such large beautiful breasts, more so than in any other country. Is it the mix of humus and salades? I must do more research. god bless israeli breasts, and the faces, bodies, minds and emotions that come with them. hold on, i'm comin'. for sure, lack of desire and sex destroyed my marriage. i tried my best, but she couldn't come...with any man. I still love her, but now i'm gonna make aliya without my kids. the women are so gorgeous and big and funny and i want them. yeah

Yes, putting aside all the good food, culture, and beaches, nice breasts are the final secret weapon for aliyah and against intermarriage. We need an international T&A ad campaign on this subject to draw back the tourists and immigrants. Actually, running into one hottie like that is more effective than 1000 foreign minister speeches! But be warned, not all are natural. Israel has a very high rate of silicon implants, so it is not necessarily the hummus, but rather the surgeon. Also, be careful, because there are some superficial women everywhere, not just in France...

im slim man i need fat men

While Karin paints a dismal picture, the other side of that coin is far brighter. While I agree with her dark side rant, she didn't touch on the other side at all. When the sex is great, we tend to overlook a lot of other things. I myself have been guilty of overlooking that fact that the lady in my life (at the time) is a psycho-nutbag and is, in reality, a Jack-in-the-Box on the 2nd to last note! Her being HIGHLY-skilled in the bedroom causes me to forgive a lot of other issues in the relationship. And guys.... NEVER ask how she became so skilled, you won't like the answer. Just enjoy.

I thought it was just the ones I've dated. I had no idea that was the case for most! I'm on my way, will swim if I have to!!!!! And I hear the Army is 65% female! How do I sign up?!

I understand your point. It is the whole scope of a person, when you love that person, you want to give full attention to your lover's body. It doesn't jive to keep it good enuff and make it quick...and so on...It takes commitment to set a time for REAL loving....and then all other things DO fall in place....

sex sex sex

what you are talking abouth is not sex what you lack is trust and with out 100 % trust no relationship can last sex last a while but trust is forever

Dear Karin , It's a lot worse than you think. Many of us men have become insensitivity cases because of what society expects from us. The whole range of ideas from religion to glamour has almost left us locked off on speech. Who is to say what we need. Sometimes what a man may need out of sex is a new breath, not something where he feels threatened that some one will take over. It's really very complicated.

and I don't mean in the violent way, either!!!!

It is true..... sex is everything..... I ended in a devorce because I was the only one asking for love( sex )... I ENJOYED touching her each day..but her no was more close to being selibit... a mairrage needs as much sex as one needs to eat to live. ..... bye for now...

Right on the money Karin! Bravo! A lady who tells it like it is. How many times I have run into, and on more than one occasion had the opportunity to spend "Time" with, the hot divorcee who finally figured it out. With a little help from me I might add. Don't take that as a conceited "World's greates lover" talking. It's just that when it's right, it's right. Floodlights or candlelights. If you like one and your lover likes the other, you're doomed. Cut them loose so they can find someone who desires them and their "Style" of sexual expression just as they are. Trust me, someone out there is going to ring your bells. You just need to find em.

Your last statement is "But one thing is for sure – my mind is somewhere between my navel and my rectum. " MAYBE you need to put your mind somewhere else !!! - and have you eyes open - your mind and common sense open !!! - You make good statement BUT - you obviously have not been with the person that will match you - sex is not everything - love is for it sees no wrong - it love beyond the human love - it does not demand - it freely give and then so easily received - love is unconditional - love is pure - sees the beauty in others - People give many signals that are unseen or undetected because sex comes in the way! Get to know the person in a different way - seek his/'her values - the very essence of who he is or who she is for a guy! You might want to stop and reflect of your mistakes and go about another way - another approach = search and know your true self first!

This is some of the most shallow nonsense I've seen or heard in some time. Sex is an important part of a relationship but it's NOT everything. What does this woman think life is going to be like when she's in her sixties and no longer HAS sex? I can only imagine. The last sentence, "But one thing is for sure – my mind is somewhere between my navel and my rectum. ", speaks volumes about this person. What a sad mentality.

Sex is just one of many ways to show love. I believe it is a sacred consecration of true(i.e. eternal) love with that one special person. It is a spiritual, physical and mental superglue for the right person, otherwise it traumatizes both people in different ways. That is why there are so many bitter cynical people. People who have sex in one failed relationship after another end up empty and angry. A loving soul will express itself in loving, tender sex, which can be improved with time.

Geez....what a misanthrope this broad is... I've had the pleasure of being with *many* Jewish women, and only a small portion of them think like this sick femme mind. Darlin', I'd prescribe a session with a Man to show you waht we in TX call a "Slobber-Knockin'" round of sex fun. To quote Adrian Kronauer, I've never heard of anyone who needed a blow job more than you. Trouble is, you sound like the type to whom a blinding lay would only encourage you to find some other reason to look upon males as dirt. Where did you become so poisonous? Best advice: Become a Lesbian...some other sick whacko out there would love to be with you, and it would save two other men... Rotsa Ruck...

sex is necerey