I used to be a living example of this reality. Before blaming kids only for this waste, talk to their families also-who taught them that career and material success should always come first. We need a deep evolution of mentalities,regardless of the background (religious or not). As a matter of fact, this report is 100% true.

This: "People want to have everything, but they must realize that you can't have it all. Snap out of it, forget the fantasies, stop being so greedy." Says it all.

Religious male over approaching 40 not married (gay in denial ) !

don't want or need anyone sharing your bed, bathroom or toothpaste.

What a load of poppycock! Interpersonal skills play a small part when looking for a partner. Men by nature, are hunters, they are looking for the quintessential alpha female and women are looking for a model alpha male. Chemistry also plays a big part when a couple meet for the first time, but it’s looks that attract first. In secular society, women are putting off finding a partner and settling down and having children in favour of their career. They prefer to have children later in life, when their careers are better established. Religious people are just being rebellious - they need to settle down and behave. They are not as fussy as us seculars – we are shallower – seculars can also sleep around while looking for a partner. Maybe that’s why we are less highly strung than our religious folk. No work shop is going to help. People have the skills they have, people cannot change, and if they do, it’s only temporary. We all know that. What they need to do is hold a massive religious singles evening and no-one will be allowed to leave until they have chosen a partner. All those that are left at the end of the evening will be paired up. No bickering and no quarrelling. The rabbis word will be final!

People are living longer now. Why should they rush into a marriage in their early 20s and then be frustrated for the rest of their lives. Better to experience life and marry at 30.

People should get married when they're ready. The religious establishment is not interested in promoting marriage at a young age because of the emotional and spiritual health of the individuals. In many cases they support marriages to complete strangers, which commonly turn out to be poor marriages. They advocate marriage at a young age so that people will start making frum babies ASAP and so that they won't have a chance to be single and go off the 'derech' Oh and btw, you can be frum and have pre marital sex.

or maybe they just done want to get maried, not everyone gay who is'nt maried

you are very funy

B"H Interpersonal communication only goes so far. How about teaching some of them how to dress, act, or . . . BATHE. Seriously, personal hygiene is a really big problem with a lot of these religious guys. They seem to think they can get away with mikvah once a week or something, they don't trim their beards, they don't brush their teeth, and their clothes don't fit right. If you want to get married bathe, get a haircut/trim, and go shopping for at least one new outfit with someone who knows how to dress!

Even if we are a western society past the 21st century a mentality of "older guy, younger reproductive female" still prevails in many sectors, not necessarily religious. These machos wait past 35-40 and feel basically entitled to someone younger than them. What a nerve! Guess what. We ladies, prefer youger / more vigorous males!!! Start to getting used to this idea. So many male single friends of mine pass on the opportunity of meeting great ladies, only because they are about their age. I don't feel sorry for supremacists. I don't think workshops are the best solution, most of the problem will get solved once men stop looking for Ms Barbie waiting for them to show up Marrying young is statiscally the key to a happy marriage

Could it be that singles are prevented from marriages because of all the "private investigators" digging into their backgrounds. Unless your family can claim perfection and connection back to Moshe you have little chance of making a match. Someone should do a report on the sickness in the shidduch system. It is a miracle that anyone at all ends up married!

I agree with what you wrote, for the most part anyway. However, a religious woman can hardly dress or look like a Barbie doll with a shitel, covered arms, a long unflattering skirt, sandals and socks and a bare face. Religious men obviously have other issues; I don’t know what their problem is. They should be looking for a nice decent girl to share their beliefs and life with. And there ARE nice decent religous girls/women! Secular men DO want the younger high-maintenance Barbie doll type, until they get bored with them and dump them for something else. That’s just because of a massive flaw in their character and a gigantic hole where their self respect should be. But it doesn’t stop at men. Women also dismiss older decent men who are, for sure, better suited to them than some young stud. Women are constantly thinking that they can find better, do better and so do men. Vicious circle. The best single status is divorced. A divorced woman/man with children has time on their hands. The biological clock doesn’t matter – they have time to find their soul mate. The religious singletons are clearly taking another path, where that path leads to is anyone’s guess.

This rav claims that career, greed and similar things are - a reason for not getting married? For some, MAYBE, but for most - that's a lie! I know MANY older pious people who didn't get married not because they didn't want to, but because they didn't have opportunity! Because they didn't have any chance! Let's look at the secluded parts of Europe, where are small communities - how will they marry? With their brothers and sisters? Provide religious people with opportunities to marry - make them match making parties where they could meet somebody - and you will have couples! Oh, and don't believe that ALL religious parties will get married - I've never seen a religious Jew who didn't consider at least ONE Miztva as "Oh, well, this is not that important". So maybe, just maybe, some of the religious do not consider Mitzva no#1 (Torah chronological) to be important, eh? In this one, Talula has the best point.

this article made me CRY!! I am 39 religous female, and still single. what does lack of education have to do with me still being single?! i've tried everything to get married, shadchans, single events, internet. I tried it all, year after year after year. And people thing us older singles are lesbians/gay!? where do you get off saying such a thing! i can honestly say that there is nothing more i ccould have done to find someone. what it boils down to is MAZAL- luck. Whatever Hashem wants, is what will happen. and that's the truth! and regarding sleeping around... i'm still a virgin. so sleeping around doesn't cause late marriage. these rabbis don't know hwat they are talking about!

i am a happily 42 year old single male. life is great! i have done so many things that religous peolpe could only dream of!! get married early in life?! for what!! go out and have fun!! experience it all - including women!! to have sex with only 1 person your whole life! i feel sorry for you all!! how will you know what truely pleases you?? each women is different and have different techniques......

Given the liberal mentality of the past century, parents do not mingle any more in their kids' affairs, or whom they'll date and whom and when they'll marry. I DO NOT ADVOCATE IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR MANNER, parents imposing a match on their children as it is today in the Arab world, and used to be so in Europe as well. NO NO NO. What I've noted though is that parents are totally disinvested in their kids' plight to find Mr/Mrs right. This is not good. Hareidi parents, for example, for the most part, are actively involved. They make sure to marry off kids at a young age, and embark upon this as a major project. They never abandon their kids on this topic on their own. With most of us having our parents back in the old country, this applies even the less. There is hardly a sense of community in Israel where you find a Shull every 100 meters, well in Jeusalem Something to think about

Being single is not a problem. No one should be pressured to marry.

We a speaka broken English now?