perfection. A newborn, first question, is he/she ok, has all fingers all toes? . Yes we all want a healthy and normal fuctioning child, but not all will be allowed this. Many are tested year after year when finding out their georgous little baby has what is so cruelly called a defect! No child has a defect, its just some dont have what others do, this makes for a special child. Anyone who has had a hug from a down syndrom child knows a perfect love hug. As the report here says, each acheivement is so much more special because of the work and effort. These are blessed children as they have quailities that their counterparts do not have. For the soldier that fought, was wounded for his country and now maybe cant do all the things he did before, we should salute, not ignore. But again sadly too many in our society find any sort of disableness ugly to their eyes. They dont realise they are the ugly ones.

This is a good, and well thought through article.

Amen! Very well said... "Anyone who has had a hug from a down syndrom child knows a perfect love hug." I almost cried when I read this as I work with kids with down's syndrome and know exactly what you're talking about.

I'm a special educator with close to 30 years experience. I also have a brother with autism and a sister in law with a developmental disability, so this subject is close to my heart. I have enormous respect for people with disabilities, and i celebrate every one of my students' achievments. Nevertheless, it is important to understand that for the parents of a child with a disability, there is much heartache and worry,and the situation can feel tragic at times. These feelings can coincide with pride in the accomplishments of the child,and deep love and respect for him. The feelings of loss, mourning, and tragedy must be accepted, and support must be given to the family, as well as to the child.

Great article, made me think ...

While they're infants, parents are there to help and protect them. The real tragedy starts when parents are no longer alive. Their permanent fear is not to be there for them any longer and that fear becomes the tragedy they have to confront each day.

I used to play abit of ice hockey for a local team. After training sessions the disabled have sledge hockey where they are strapped to sledges which have a blade on the bottom and push themselves around the ice and for a stick they have a small blade of a full size one. One day after training the sledge hockey people let me try I thought to myself originally I am going to be great at this because I can play regular hockey. So got into my sledge they give me my tiny stick and i have to push myself around and at the same time use this little stick to try and catch the puk In regular hockey you use your legs to move and your hands to use a big long stick. In this one you have to use your arms and hands for everything. These people were like NHL compared to me so on their own turf they can outpace anybody who is able bodied. After I played that game I really found respect for disabled people and the things they can do.

.... to appreciate the distinction between people with physical disabilities and those with mental disabilities. Physical disabilities, while challenging, do not generally require concerns about long-term care. Mental disabilities are a very different category. It must be daunting to have to accept the fact that a profoundly retarded child will never be able to achieve independent living; will never go to college; will likely never hold anything but a menial job. A high-functioning autistic child (non-Asperger's) can achieve independence, but low-functioning autistic children never will. And while the parents will do their utmost during their lifetimes -- what happens after they are gone? That would have to be an almost constant concern. Will other family members see to the care of the affected family member, or will they abandon them to an indifferent social welfare system? Although I have no direct knowledge of either situation (blessedly), I have to believe that raising a physically disabled child with normal intellect does not have embody nearly the same concerns as raising a child with mental impairment. With the former, there is no reason to think that the child cannot enjoy independent living and a well-integrated life upon reaching adulthood. The same cannot be said for a child with a mental disability. Depending upon the degree of severity, even group home residence may not be possible, and the parents of such a child would have to be concerned about the fate of the child once the primary caregivers -- the parents -- are gone.

I recognise that you are thinking seriously about these issues but there is even greater complexity. Like you, I have no direct experience with regard to my own immediate family, but my understanding is that the focus should be on needs rather than the disability itself. Thus, each individual will be different. One person with a physical disability may indeed require long-term care while another with an intellectual disability might not. Moreover, there are those with autistic conditions who have quite extraordinary talents in art and music. There are few who are without some kind of impairment or disability. For most of us, this is not the defining feature of our lives since we focus on what we can do rather than what we cannot. If we try to extend this to everyone the world might be a more humane place.

Helping a fellow human overcome an obstacle is the most rewarding experience in life. People with disabilities have to overcome obstacles on a daily basis. They are the true hero human beings. They remove the "dis" and display their ability. You will see life from a different lense when you witness or participate in one's "ability."

My tb about approaching this from the situation of the disabled was censored.