Jewish Scene
Rise in number of Jewish single moms
jn1.tv
Published: 01.04.13, 07:52
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31. The Perfect Match?
Akiva ,   NYC   (04.03.13)
If women choose to have babies before they find the perfect match, how does the perfect match feel being stepfather to children from a donor because the wife opted to put off getting married? My wife had teens from her first marriage [that ended in divorce after 7 years as an agunah] Raising 'his' children was very difficult for us all.
32. 23.
Birdi ,   Israel   (04.03.13)
If it was true, Rivkah would have provided us with a link. Load of hogwash, I say.
33. #30
Vlad   (04.03.13)
No matter how much a hapless American or Canadian man works on his marriage, he can still end up taken to the cleaners. Even men who have treated their wives and children excellent have ended up destroyed after their wives decided to leave them for a fresh start and shaft them with a lawyer. I've read about injustices that you wouldn't believe. Men are starting to simply refuse to start families. No matter how much one devotes himself, once he signs that contract, he now has the threat of financial devastation, separation from children, and prison hanging over his head for life. Sooner or later, America and Canada will either be forced to reform their family law, like Israel and Britain are doing, or face the total destruction of the family.
34. Hopelessly ignorant
Danny ,   London England   (04.03.13)
I did not understand the medical part of the article. Who is the father? Was he an anonymous donor? Did the mother donate the ova or were they also anonymous? What role will the father play in the future. If he donates for other women how will the children avoid the possibility of incest when they grow up? Will the children meet their biological father?
35. #2: You state: "90% of the boys raised by
Runner1983 ,   USA   (04.03.13)
single parent women go to prison. 80% of welfare recipients are women, mostly single parent women, many of whom make a living having babies for government payouts. The nation cannot afford this UNorthodox lifestyle choice." Where did these stats come from? Instead of worrying about the women and their children described in this article, you should worry about child sexual abuse in the haredi community, and how victims are vilified, threatened and shunned if they report the crime to police. You should be concerned about why the haredi custom and practice is to protect their cultural norms, rather than protect children.
36. 23, 32: The links are posted but you have to read them.
Rivkah   (04.03.13)
37. 35 Runner1983, USA: There is more abuse of children in
Rivkah   (04.03.13)
single mother situations than in Haredim dual parent families where abuse is silence or the victims are shunned. That does happen, but is nothing compared to the abuse of fatherless boys who seek someone to be a father to them, craving male approval, only to be homosexually raped and threatened. Typical is what happened at the Heritage Apartments in Lemoore, California, where I lived for a few months in 2001. There were a lot of single parent women and children they women could not afford daycare for while they worked so they sent the children to TWO separate apartments where TWO males who offered free babysitting for the children totally unaware of the other predator. TWO child predators were active at that apartment complex, raping boys and girls sent to them after school to care for until the mothers got home from work. One was arrested and one escaped arrest, fleeing. THAT is what happens to children of single parent mothers. The children would be better off in orphanages that offered more supervision and protection.
38. 33Vlad, I didn t know that...
ORA ,   JERUSALEM   (04.03.13)
Until now i thought that it was rather women that could not get the Get ,who were victims of a marriage going wrong.
39. So many jewish men dont...
Sara ,   NYC   (04.03.13)
I live in NYC, I have a ton of Jewish girlfriends as well, we are all late 20's, so many of the quality jewish men want nothing to do with jewish girls, they are dating shicksas and some even marrying them + converting them etc. I wont post the excuses some men make for doing so but their image of jewish girls are very bad, calculating, manipulating and guaranteed heartache as some say. It's sad to say that the guys I know who married Jewish girls are all divorced or separated while those who did not seem to be together, if they are happy or not I dont know. What should we change, the way things are going now we will all stay single, and we dont want to marry a goy or a shlepy man.
40. Single Moms
Debbie ,   israel   (04.03.13)
To those who complained of men getting cheated, tricked, etc. my question is: Could a pre-nuptial agreement between the two partners avoid any or most of these problems? RIVKA, The mothers in that apt bldg sound absolutely negligent and really stupid, I must say. First off, while I'm sure there are some great male babysitters around, I would never ever send my children to a male babysitter, if given the choice between a man and woman, and you can bet that the woman would be checked out most rigorously by me and other moms. And the fact that they offered "free" babysitting services, this would sooooo raise a red light with me. What normal, law abiding male is offering free babysitting services? This is like an invitation to be raped and/or molested. Could these women not find a well reputed nursery in the area, one which they could ask other parents about, drop in on during the day and have other parents monitor as well? This is what I did (I live in Israel) and had absolutely no problems at any time, nor did any parent that I know of. Where do you live?.
41. Alternative lifestyles
Joseph ,   London UK   (04.03.13)
Within our Haredi world my daughter got married at 19, had three healthy sons, and when her third son finished elementary school she went to college, did a Masters in psychology and got a decent job in addition to being a mother etc. If women choose to put off marriage until their biological clock is 23:55 that is their decision. Most husbands want to father their own children, which means they're looking for a wife still young enough.
42. 39 Sara,when i was young...
ORA ,   JERUSALEM   (04.03.13)
Jewish men dated only shikses to have fun.But when they wanted to start a family they only dated Jewish girls who were pure until marriage.May be that is the secret that most Jewish girls found decent Jewish husbands without problem.At 19 i had three Jewish fine candidates.
43. #39 Sara there are a few things you and friends can do
Vlad   (04.03.13)
You could make aliyah. That's the surest way. If that's a no, you could always try JDate, or one of the other Jewish dating sites out there.
44. 40 Debbie, Israel: Single mothers on minimum wage
Rivkah   (04.03.13)
and no child support from runaway biological fathers do not have the money for daycare of babysitters and the children shift for themselves after school unless someone offers to help at no charge. Are the mothers stupid to let a neighbor in the apartment complex be a place for the children to go after school? Maybe that is stupid, but is it better for the children to be alone? In those cases it was better for the children to come home, lock the door and wait for their mother to get home. What single mothers used to do decades a go when I was young was to pair up with one woman working to support them all with assistance from welfare and food stamps for the other mother who looked after both mothers' children. The attacks at the Heritage Apartments happened when I lived in California in 2001.
45. 39 Sarah: There are lots of disabled US veterans who
Rivkah   (04.03.13)
a shrewish woman to protect them and marry them. Most of the quads and paras at V.A. hospitals have been abandoned by their families, so they would welcome a woman who is honorable to want to get married.
46. To 42 , 43
Sara ,   NYC   (04.03.13)
We are all on jdate lol you guys are not up to date at all whats going on, ill admit im just avg looking but 3 of my girlfriends are really above avg, 2 have good degrees and jobs and the other comes from a very wealthy household. We sit and talk about this allot, we use online, friends and matchmaker services, what you say that jewish guys use the goy and then marry the jew is really not whats going on today. You hear it all over, on blogs and in person from co-workers (when they talk of their jewish dates) they all say not risking marrying a jewish girl, some witnessed the horrors at home some saw what friends went thru. I use to think those comedy skits about jewish wives are overblown, but after seeing whats going on her its obvious at least the men who have lots to lose refuse to deal with it. Please stop thinking I dont know or telling me what use to be, today is today, the situation is terrible, the proof is the amount of old single jewish girls you see. One of my friends came to terms with it and is not dating non jews that are open to converting, something I sure hope never to have to do, but I do want to get married and start a family im just getting older! In 2 months I am going to a co-workers wedding, hes 29, a real catch in all aspects, his family disowned him, he is marrying a non jewish girl thats converting and going to classes now lol, he claims the jewish girls he dated made him feel like garbage, demanding, he felt like a butler, with her he says its a respectful relationship, he tells me outright, if jewish girls dont change their demanding attitude they will not be able to find any sane worthwhile jewish man to marry them, his words are coming true. There was a big jewish singles event before passover in nyc, 600 people showed up, mostly girls and the 150 or so men there looked like schleps, divorced, disrespectful etc. Stop thinking you know whats going on here, there was a meetup event discussing what can be done what we have to change to try to get jewish men interested again (when I say jewish men I mean quality jewish men who have options, if I simply wanna marry anyone so I can get divorced and be miserable thats no problem).
47. Well Sara in that case there's always aliyah to fall back on
Vlad   (04.04.13)
48. what about the children?
moish ,   philadelphia, usa   (04.04.13)
Lots of research shows that children growing up in single-parent households have much bleaker futures than children with two parents--poverty, crime, their own marital relations. Is this what Jewish women want? What about the children?
49. Rise
debbie ,   israel   (04.06.13)
VLAD, I am sure you are quite out of touch with the single scene in Israel. I don't know where you live, but if you do live in Israel, how can you be so naive? I live in Israel and am many years married, but I'm not sure it is any easier to find a suitable partner in Israel (I'm not referring to the religious candidates, but I'm sure they have their own set of problems). Both men and women are delaying marriage, and from what I've heard it is mostly the men who are dragging their feet. A lot of guys are looking for a quick hook up and then on to the next option. Many are using JDate and other sites in Israel, but the women so far outnumber the men, that the men are in no hurry to commit to any one partner, as they have so many options at the click of their mouse. I also see what my older divorced girlfriends go through; its a nightmare. The guys are shleppy, overweight, tacky, wierd, non commital, you name it. At least my friends already been married and have their children; they're just looking for companionship now and even that is hard to come by, unless they greatly compromise and go out with just anyone. From what they tell me it is just an awful situation. Making aliyah to look for a husband is not the solution for everyone, especially for women who are not in their 20s anymore.
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