The Israelis don’t believe in therapy, even if it were the only thing that could save a marriage.

They don’t believe in sitting in a small room, and working, with infinite patience, on compromise. It didn’t work during the Oslo peace process, and it won’t work in the therapist’s room.

It’s bad for you to be with me? You know where the door is.

Twenty percent said they thought the couple should stay together and suffer, while only one percent agreed that therapy should be sought – and that one percent was entirely made up of female respondents.

That answer did not speak to the male respondents at all.

Noone for therapy

And that’s really a shame, because I know at least three couples who were saved by such therapy.

It opened their heart to the new Middle East, so to speak. Sometimes, to live with your lover under the same roof is like putting your nose up to the shaving mirror. It's too close at times and it's too in-your-face, so that it becomes distorted, and you are not looking at the real image.

So why don’t we Israelis believe in therapy?

Because we are a very small country. Everyone knows everyone, and rumors fly fast. That’s just what I need, that Yaakov from work will know that I went to some therapist.

The fear of what others will say is so strong and rooted here, that people prefer to be buried behind closed doors. As long as a complete stranger doesn’t find out that we failed. The main thing is to avoid sitting and actually listening to someone else.

It's the economy, stupid

Instead, being divorced is preferred, and the excuse of “it was an economic crisis” can be used. After all, everyone knows that when money disappear, love goes out the window.

After that, we’ll agree on the alimony, and we’ll rent two bachelor’s apartments, spending a fortune on rent. We’ll spend the rest of our salary on buying the children expensive gifts.

There’s no doubt that divorce has solved all our financial problem, and especially the problem of what others will say. Nobody will suspect that two injured souls lived here.

Its strange, not to say disappointing, because I really thought that the term ‘Dad’ changed in recent years -- that he’s no longer a guest player who occasionally emerges from the bedroom and shouts, “Can there be some quiet? I had a terrible day at work!”  -- but instead, a real and full partner for raising children.

But, it turns out, that most Israeli men still see themselves as an add-on.

‘A mother’s love is unmatched’ says the Israeli ethos.

What is the meaning of this -- giving up? Laziness?

Really that happy?

If we believe the 503 who participated in the survey, it's never been this fun being married. Seventy-five percent of married people said they never thought of divorcing. Literally, never.

Twenty-two percent have thought of divorcing but only through a passing thought, around two seconds, according to the survey, and then the thought was immediately banished.