LOS ANGELES - In the middle of Rosh Hashanah dinner one year, Adam Glazer announced to his parents he was going into the porno business. His mother passed the gefilte fish and decided to join him.
His horny cousin also stepped up to the plate and his young son learned to operate a Play Station in the company of naked women crouched on all fours. Today Adam Glazer is starring in a reality series and is looking for an Israeli woman who enjoys anal sex.
Seymour Butts opens the door of his mansion in Northern Los Angeles. He is barechested and his mouth is dripping custard doughnut.
“Oh, you’re just in time,” he ushers me in past the kitchen where the girls are putting on their makeup and preparing the necessary
After an hour, the girls are ready, and before I have time to wonder why anyone even needs makeup if they aren’t wearing clothes, the cast is briefed in the living room before the camera begins to roll. Just like the Boy Scouts, the pack leader - Seymour in this case - sits cross-legged on the floor instructing the inductees on today’s script.
The film actually has a plot. Correction: In the first minute, the film has a plot. It goes like this: Two girls, Amanda and Miranda, or Simona and Dimona (doesn’t really matter since no one has a real name in this things anyway) are hungry. They want a sandwich, and let’s be honest, it’s noon and most of us are feeling hunger pangs.
There is no more American sandwich than peanut butter and jelly. But now things get complicated because there is no bread. Having no choice, the girls emit a heavy sigh, unscrew the top of the jar of peanut butter and spread a thick gooey layer on the sexual organ of a muscle-bound he-man; that is, until Seymour the director arrives. The sandwich is ready, the backcheeks are in full swing and the screams on the battlefield reach the heavens.
After 10 straight minutes of “Oh God! Oh God!” which are vibrating the very foundations of the ceiling fan above their heads, the cast stops for toweling off and feedback. Before I forget why I am here, I sneak out through the back entrance and return to civilization.
Why was I there? There was a sound reason, almost enchanting but somehow forgotten on the road to Sodom.
So, Seymour Butts is really Adam Glazer, at least that is what his 69-year-old mother Laila calls him. She is also involved in the production and distribution of adult entertainment feature films. The two - together with Stevie, the greaser cousin, and Brady, Adam’s eight-year-old son - are also the heroes of "Family Business," a new reality show also being shown in Israel on the Ego network.
It follows the family that engages in North Hollywood’s most prestigious business.
“We are a normal family,” says Glazer, who still has not put on a shirt, by the way. “That is what the series is trying to show.”
Glazer, 41, born in the Bronx had a brit and bar mitzvah.
“Mom and Dad were good Jews. They were in the shmattah business,” he says.
Like all Jewish mothers, Laila Glazer hoped her son would be a lawyer or a doctor.
“I believe she’s given up on that one,” Glazer says.
After the family moved to LA in the 1980s, Glazer opened a health club. When the business began to fail he looked for ways to resuscitate it.
“One of the ways was to offer the club as a location for film shoots," he says. "One day a producer of adult films asked if he could make a porno move and I stayed to watch from the side. At the end of the day, the film was finished, everyone had a smile from ear to ear and cash money in hand. That was when I knew I was in the wrong business.”
He informed his parents of his decision at the Rosh Hashanah dinner table as the family was dipping apples in honey.
“We’ve always been open about sex. Dad always told dirty jokes at the table. So they accepted my decision. When they divorced in 1996, my mother was looking for work as a bookkeeper. I asked her to join my company and she agreed,” Glazer says.
“It’s not like she’s having anal sex. She’s doing the books,” Glazer says. She says she has never seen any of his movies but he doesn’t know if he believes her.
“It’s like hoping that your parents never have sex. I don’t ask questions and I don’t want to know,” he says.
Glazer agreed to do "Family Business" as payback to the Republican Party and the Los Angeles law enforcement agencies that raided his offices in search of the hot film "Tampa Tushie Fest." Glazer said the raid took place three days after George W. Bush was sworn in as the 43rd president with a platform calling for a clampdown on the making and distributing of porno films.
Every episode of "Family Business" begins with the narrator saying that Glazer “has already found sex and now he is looking for love.” In fact Glazer has never been married, although he has had several long-term relationships and has a son from one of them.
He said it’s difficult for him to find suitable dates outside of the industry. He doesn’t go to bars to meet girls, because as soon as he tells them what he does for a living, they freak.
“And if they don’t, then their parents do when the girls take me home to meet them,” he says. “I am looking for a pretty Israeli girl who likes anal sex. Send me their pictures, telephone numbers and addresses, and we’ll get back to them.”
Glazer and Taylor Hayes, a former porno star who is the mother of his eight-year-old son, are trying to make sure their son has a normal California childhood: school, milk and cookies in the afternoon and Play Station each evening.
On the other hand, the rooms in which he does schoolwork are the daytime venue for the filming of hot sex scenes and almost naked porno stars roaming around the house.
Brady said that when he is asked what his father does, he says he makes a lot of money and that’s important. He says his dad’s business comes and goes, comes and goes. He laughs with everyone and explains: I meant the money in the business. The money comes and goes.