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Dating Issues

Photo: Erez Erlichman
'Know that I am mad' Photo: Erez Erlichman
 

 

The Missing in Action guys

Meet MIAs – men who disappear without a note to women who cooperate with them

Karin Arad
Published: 08.02.06, 23:44 / Israel Singles

Please meet the MIAs – men who disappear without a note to women who cooperate with them: "Oy, You disappeared, oddly enough I didn't notice." Recently, two more of those have been added to my personal list of MIAs. I even met one on the street yesterday, to his misfortune.

 

What's the deal with calling, sending an email, or even a dove? Why turn a nice romance to an unpleasant event? It's okay when it's not working, but there's no need to fade into the darkness.

 

Previous Column
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Full story
I'm almost out of coffee shops – the city is full of culinary vacuums and it pisses me off. Therefore, as long as it's up to me, I try to end things nicely, even with ex's. I would rather overcome unsolved angers, so we all could run into each other, including his new wife, and have a decent conversation.

 

Sometimes I mess up. A month ago I broke a relationship in an unexpected manner: A text message. I went through a five-minute attack of not thinking, decided that I need to run before it gets complicated, wrote it, and sent it. I tried to be gentle, but still, an SMS. Gross. Two days later I couldn't sleep out of pangs of conscience. I had never done something that ugly and there was no reason to start now. I managed to sleep only after I called to apologize.

 

Not that simple 

 

And why not? Most of the times it's about people I'm all in favor of. Even the SMS I mentioned was send with affection. If I slept with him, he probably passed the minimal friendship bar, and I want to believe that he too liked me enough to tell me that he must leave. It's the herpes, you see…

 

It makes sense to disappear after a date. After two or three weeks, it's not okay any more. I want some respect, please. There's no reason to end something unpleasantly in which the strong feelings haven't yet been built. It's nothing but a stain on reality. Most of the people share this opinion, theoretically. When it comes to actions, they disappear, and unlike me, sleep pretty well.

 

Let's return to the original date. You must agree that he is supposed to realize that he made a mistake. But no. He behaved regularly. When I asked what was the matter I got the lame brother of "it's not what it looks like". Pay attention gentlemen: "It's not that simple." So I let myself freely express. Not a lovely sight.

 

I could have played it strong and liberated, but why should I? There's no reason in denying that I was hurt. I guess I'll get hurt in the future as well, and I have no intention to claim differently. I do care, I am happy to care, and my ego has got phenomenal recovery abilities, thank you very much.

 

We're still dating

 

So what if I'm out of proportions - it's one of my benefits as a woman and I have all intentions to keep using it fully, and react hysterically whenever I want to. Be aware that this is the price – if you don't want to pay, don't try to bid.

 

The minimum that a man needs to do after f**king someone is to respect her enough to admit to the existence of their relationship, and to inform her when it's done. It's not okay to disappear and it's even less okay that no one understands why I'm pissed off. It looks logical to them.

 

So here I am to announce to all MIAs that as long as they haven't been told differently, we're still dating. That means that I date at least 10 men, some of them for almost a decade, and it’s a serious relationship with legitimacy for demands.

 

Know that I am mad, and if I meet one of you in the street don't be surprised if I demand an explanation. And don't dare tell me that "it's not that simple," because it is. If you've got the balls, that is.

 

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