There is a joke that goes: “What do lesbians do on a second date? They move in together”. Obviously this is a baseless stereotype that has no connection to reality (every lesbian will tell you that this happens on the fourth date).
Over the past two years I have met in lesbian bars, women’s parties, and in dark and illuminated apartments, hundreds if not thousands of different women, who have all demonstrated different levels of attraction to women of their own sex.
If there is one thing I can definitively say, it is that half the scientific studies are completely ridiculous when it comes to explaining human sexuality. The scientific dichotomous observation of defining sexual identification lags about twenty years behind reality.
In general, the use of the concept “lesbian” is ridiculous. There are women who love women and are only attracted to women. There are women who love women and want to have relations with a woman, but sometimes want to have sex with a man as well. There are women who want to have relations with men and sometimes have sex with a woman.
There are women who out of disappointment with men and the inability to find what they are looking for, simply choose to check how it works in their group and stay there. Some of them return to men. The boundaries are more mobile and dynamic than we allow ourselves to imagine.
As a straight man, I can only feel admiration for the level of openness and acceptance that many women can experience. As a citizen of free thought, self-honesty is a lofty ideal. Honesty means that you have to face questions whose answers you would prefer not to hear, for example “If we are talking about a shift in social perception, why shouldn’t this also apply to men?”
If I have not yet lost the manly readers, I will now, when I say – there is no reason not to. My prophecy relates to a masculine awakening that will occur in the future. The only reason it has not happened on the same level as women stems from a homophobic spirit that blows among men to a higher extent.
Close physical contact among women is an internalized social matter, as opposed to the hysterical fear of men the minute you spin the lock and key approach. If the basis of acceptance will widen - we’ll leave the elaborations to the wild imagination of our female readers.
One of the nicer things among relationships between women are the different shades of love. So there should be no doubts, this love is not any less real than its stormy straight sister’s love. In my eyes the beauty is not the regular cootchy coo that is generally expressed by these women. Not the “amazing emotional connection” and not the “only a woman can know how to touch another woman” and not even the “she understands me without my having to say a word”. The beauty is the mirror image that many of these women suddenly find themselves staring into.
With all the honor and love I have toward women, and I have a lot, the claim that women are better than men is nonsense, as is the opposite claim. In the many conversations I have had with my close female friends, they have all in retrospect admitted that “wow, it seems that women are also not such a big deal after a while”. Suddenly all the attention seekers come to the conclusion that space is not such a bad idea, that you do not have to discuss every single thing, that jealousy, envy and lack of confidence are still qualities that are more pronounced in the female gender.
In this situation, many problematic questions arise, such as: When two lesbians go on a first date - who pays? Both of them reach for their wallet and stop to see if the other ordered. And if she does not, does that mean that she is stingy? It is complicated.
Just so it is clear, this performance is not meant to make light of the nature of relationships between women, or to stand by and make fun. The opposite is true. In today’s state of collective anger towards anyone who is not of your sex, this development is a positive movement - it allows the rebuilding of solidarity between the sexes, where the following understanding is critical:
my gender is not perfect, and the opposite gender is not responsible for all of my problems. Actually many women that I know who spent a few years in relationships with women subsequently decided to build their futures with men. Many of them describe to me a kind of inner peace, which stems from the fact that apparently it matters more who the person you are with is and not what is between their legs.
On the other hand, you might wonder what I understand from this story. I am not a woman, and I do not even understand my own gender. (To lie to get sex? How pathetic do you have to be?)
For your benefit, dear readers, I will continue to sit every week at the bar and try to tirelessly crack this complicated code. So if you see a drunken blonde smiling at a bar full of women - call your straight friend and ask her to join me. I promise to offer to pay.
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