_A.jpg "צילום: דנה קופל")
MK Eitan Cabel
צילום: דנה קופל
The era of miracles is over
It’s really miraculous just how many miracles happen here. Yet, the problem with miracles is that you can't rely on them
We went to see the performance of stand up comedian Israel Katorza. He was hilarious. “Every Israeli,” said Katorza, “when he stays in a hotel, let’s say in Eilat, does the same thing. He wakes up thirsty in the middle of the night, takes the apple juice from the minibar and drinks it. In the morning he remembers how much it costs, goes to the local grocery store and buys juice for much less money and puts it in the minibar. The problem is what happens when the grocery store runs out of apple juice? My wife and I had to drive all the way to Yotvata (a kibbutz, an hour drive north of Eilat).”
The audience exploded in laughter. If Katorza would tell the same joke in Finland or even in the United States, no one would get it. Only Israelis understand what is funny about a guy who gets up in the morning and decides to outsmart the minibar. We all think of ourselves as the Cat in the Hat. It’s part of our national identity.
Anyone who has read the basics of the Winograd interim report – not just the summary – understands exactly what Katorza is talking about. The personal attacks on Olmert-Peretz-Halutz are more colorful and make sexier headlines but the report tries to relate to who we are and what we have become. It tries to tell us that even the most gifted mechanic cannot build a Rolls Royce from metal scraps left in the junkyard. Like all other Israeli institutions, The Israeli army, has succeeded in incorporating the bad habits: The desire to be devious, the tendency to blame others, the national paranoia of ‘I’m no sucker’ and the mindset of ‘If you need a receipt I’ll have to add the VAT.’ No more. The bill needs to be paid in full.
There have been too many times that we got away with it, or at least it seemed to us that we did. Maybe miracles happened that allowed us to ignore the truth. It’s really miraculous just how many miracles happen here.
Miracle: The education system is collapsing but the number of scientific publications is the largest per capita in the world.
Miracle: A flourishing high tech industry which evolved despite the convoluted and corrupt government bureaucracy.
Miracle: Today’s youth have grown up in a climate embracing hedonism and shirking responsibility yet the number of new recruits volunteering for the elite combat units continues to grow every year.
Miracle: We are the country that everyone loves to hate but one of the favorites among foreign investors.
Miracle: Despite the conflict between Jews and Arabs, Orthodox and secular, settlers and left wingers, Israel has one of the most stable democracies in the western world.
Running out of miracles
The problem with miracles is that they are unreliable. Sometimes the magic words just don’t work. Sometimes the rock does not bring forth water. Sometimes Pharaoh and his legions or Nasrallah and his rockets manage to cross the sea before it closes. The Israeli army – the nation’s most sensitive seismograph of Israeliness - was the first to run out of miracles. I know that it is scary to think that the army, like us, goes all the way to Yotvata to buy juice to stock the IDF warehouses but do we have any cause to think differently?
We all serve in the reserves. When our children did basic training, we all packed the cooler and went to visit their base. We all saw the crawling soldiers searching the Philadelphi corridor for the body parts of their friends. What exactly led us to believe that things would turn out differently? What made us think that the army would function any better than the other institutions in this country? Why did we think that the military would be better than its commanders, its equipment, better than us?
It’s easy to imagine just how frustrated the members of the Winograd committee must be. They are all experienced, smart people who are being excoriated for the parts of the report dealing with personal culpability. They were trying to tell us something. They were trying to address us directly about the exhausting and arcane issue of how Israeli society is breaking down. Why weren’t there regularly scheduled meetings called before deciding to go to war? It’s because there are never regularly planned meetings here. Why was there no coordinated team plan? Because the last effective team was the one appointed by Moshe in Egypt. How is it that that no one spoke to anyone else? Because they all forgot that it was necessary.
Every Israeli who has ever lived or worked in the US or in Europe remembers the sense of boredom during the first few months. These Gentiles make mountains out of molehills. There are workplace guidelines for every bit of nonsense; every job comes with a book of instructions, half the time is wasted on meetings in order to discuss scenarios that will n ever happen. It’s known as ‘Organizational Culture’ and is one of the most exhausting things a person could ever engage in.
In any case, it only leads to successful corporations, good government and a humane and fair society. We, in contrast to them, prefer to rely on our superior talents. We are truly more talented, but it turns out that talent is unreliable.
Wanted: A leader
During the coming days we will all continue to be busy with one of our favorite national sports of beheading the leader. I don’t deny that it’s amusing and kudos to Eitan Cabel who won the ‘remember-who-resigned-first’ contest. It also gives us a feeling of: "look we responded." We did something; we tried to fix the situation. But nothing’s been fixed.
The Israeli establishment – military and civilian – will stay what it is: Unstable, off-handed and aimless, without management skills.
Our search for ‘a leader with experience,’ for lack of a better word is really - sad. Experience in what exactly? If our state institutions don’t function, then whoever is there first will proclaim he wasn’t there when they were established.
Why are we again looking for one person to have all the answers? When will we insist that we can only have all the answers when there are enough people to ask enough questions?
