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צילום: ויז'ואל/פוטוס
A tale of a cell phone
Celluar phone technology is moving so quickly that the fifth generation will do away with feelings, the seventh generation will be able to drive and the ninth generation is likely to be appointed head of a government ministry
1.
My friend, let’s call him ‘A,’ is my pocket phone pal. The last time he called me by mistake from inside his pants pocket I heard him irritatingly ask someone point blank if he had been sleeping with his wife. That guy said rather convincingly that he doesn’t sleep with his own wife let alone another's. Afterwards the two engaged in an intimate conversation about their marriages. ‘A’ said that his relationship with his wife was deteriorating. Once they had been so close that they would make love in their sleep."With us it’s different," said the other guy proudly, "we fall asleep in the middle."
2.
After that conversation I felt the line had been crossed. I needed to call up ‘A’ and tell him that he keeps dialing me by mistake all the time. At least once a week, some button gets pushed and the phone speed dials me. Maybe his phone has an ultra-sensitive touch pad, maybe I’m the first phone number in his directory – whatever the reason, it happens that I am regularly forced to eavesdrop on ‘A’ walking in the street, driving his car or at work meetings; leaving pieces of his life on my answering machine.
3.
I knew it wouldn’t be easy to tell him to take care of his cell phone problems. We have had better days. I have become used to hearing him speak with the guy in the corner shop or sing an old song to himself as he is traveling. Every time I thought he had solved the problem and the erroneous phone calls would stop, he would phone again leaving messages that opened a small window into his life. My soul connected to his soul even though our relationship was as casual as could be. In the past I had left him my telephone number when I blocked his car in the parking lot and asked him to phone me when he needed to leave. I guess that by mistake he saved my number first in his phone’s memory.
4.
Many of us have a friend like this, someone with whom we have a relationship that has little foundation. We all dial wrong numbers from time to time, almost everyone gets wrong numbers on their cell phone with no idea we even dialed that number. In the past my phone would accidentally phone Avri Gilad (television personality) who happened to be the first entry in my cell phone directory because of the ‘A’ in his name. My children would play with the touch pad and end up speaking to him. Aviv even sent him 20 SMS messages with the letter ‘z’. Realizing that the guy has to get up so early for his television show, I changed the order of the saved numbers in my cell phone directory. I put myself at the top of the list. This was my wife's suggestion: If you are going to accidentally call someone, she said, call yourself. It was the right thing to do, even though I knew that it would make me a little lonelier.
5.
I meant to call ‘A’ in the evening and ask him to fix the accidental calls issue. It’s just that a few hours earlier it happened again, by mistake. I did not answer but there was a message, as long as always, to the very end of the answering service’s time allotment. It was a conversation he was having with his wife. Seems they decided to separate. I heard her crying, I heard him crying too. It made me very sad.
6.
That same day, as luck would have it, I needed to take the phone in for repair. The young son of friends of ours wanted to know, for the fourth time I think, what happens when a cell phone meets the toilet. I ran to the service center in the Talpiot neighborhood of Jerusalem. The place reminds me of the Interior Ministry. You take a number and wait together with a whole lot of other people who are also there to serve their masters – their cell phones. The service was pretty mediocre but the tumult was great. Someone complained that the internet doesn’t work on his second-generation phone; another complained that he couldn’t identify the connection to his computer at work with his third-generation model; another one complained that on his 3.5 generation cell phone, the quality of full-length movies was far below standards of a movie theatre.The impression is that the cell phone technology is moving so quickly that the fifth generation will do away with feelings, the seventh generation will be able to drive and the ninth generation is likely to be appointed a government minister.
7.
The device was in service for three hours during which I ceased to exist in the cellular world. I was not available for regular calls or the accidental ones. I was worried about ‘A’, but I also enjoyed being out of touch. I walked around the neighborhood with a unique feeling: To walk the streets of Jerusalem without anyone able to call and find out where I was. That was how we felt as kids when we played outside until dark.
8.
After three hours, thanks to the mediocre service I got my phone back. There were three new messages from ‘A.' One came while he was in his car, the second during a chat with his parents – saying he may bring the kids over that evening - and the third he left as he was walking with a friend. Beyond the usual rustling sound, I heard him say that if his wife would come back regretting the separation, he would return things to the way they were. But his pride won’t let him ask her first.
9.
It was at that stage I decided to stop eavesdropping and to intercede. I could help my secret phone companion. I knew that if I called his wife’s place of work, which I knew because of previous eavesdropping, I can get her number.Hello, I said to her, you don’t know me but I can help you. Run home quickly. Tell your husband that you love him and it is not too late to try again. It is not too late to fight for what the two of you once had. Afterwards, I told her to ask her husband to remove my number from his directory or to make it so that I am not the first one on the list because he is constantly leaving me messages by accident.
10.
She thanked me and went on her way. I never heard from them again but I have a feeling they got back together and are living happily ever after. I kind of miss the phone messages from time to time but I know that they have to figure things out for themselves. I just did what I could.
