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'So, tell me again why don't you want to get married?'
Doctor, I think I love her. Actually, I do love her, but I don't know if it's time. I'm still young. Just 30 years old. I know that as soon as we're married, my mother will start asking about grandchildren and…
S. Lumpi
The sign on the door reads "Dr Yehoshua F. Psychologist." I ring the bell, hoping I'm not late. A 50-year- old bearded man opens the door. "Good afternoon, you're late..." he says in a slight German accent.
I look at my watch, 12:03. Come on. I apologize; I couldn't find a parking spot. "Where do I sit?" The doctor points at the sofa. Is he serious? Does he want me to lie down and stare at the ceiling?
"Here?" I hesitate
"Yes"
He sits in a leather armchair right behind the sofa so there's no chance I'll be able to look at him. Oh, well, he came highly recommended; I better give this a chance.
"Okay, why don't you tell me what the problem is?"
"Oh, so, my girlfriend and I been dating for three-and-a-half years now. Recently she started talking about getting married. I told her it's premature and why rush things, but she said that if I really love her, I have nothing to be scared about. I don't know what to do, what do you say doctor?"
"What do you think?"
"I think I love her. Actually, I know I love her but I don't know if this is the right time. I am still young, just 30, and I know the minute we get married my mother going to start pressuring us to have kids…"
"What does it have to do with your mother?"
"What? No. I just mentioned she'll want us to have kids and we're still young…"
"What is your relationship with your mother like? Was she a loving mother? Gave you lots of hugs?"
"Yes, I guess, I don't remember any problems."
"Until what age did she bathe you?"
"What? What are these questions? I have a wonderful mother, she loved me, hugged me. And, anyway, my father was the one bathing me."
"And are you mad at him for not letting your mother bathe you?"
"What? No, not at all."
"Are you angry at him for other things?"
"No. Sometimes I get angry at him about little things. It's not like I want to kill him or anything like that," I try to smile.
"Ah-ha... did you ever dream about killing your dad?"
"What?! No. It's just an expression! I love my father! And my mother! What's all of this nonsense, doctor? Can we get back to the point?"
"Okay, so tell me again why you don't want to marry your girlfriend."
"As I said, it's not that I don't want to marry her. It's just that I don't want to do it now. It's a critical point in my career, I am trying to get ahead and the competition is just... What, doctor? Are you smoking?" I turn around and see the psychologist smoking a huge Cuban cigar.
"Yes, does it bother you?"
"Actually it does."
"Why does the cigar bother you?"
"What do you mean? I don't want you to smoke next to me."
"Because my cigar is so big. Do you find it threatening?"
"Not threatening, just suffocating me. Aren't you supposed to make me comfortable so I could tell you about my problems?"
"So you admit you have a problem?"
"Not a problem. I am just not ready to have children yet. And Michal.. after so many years together, I can't tell if it's real love or simply a habit."
"So you don't love her."
"I didn't say that. Stop putting words in my mouth. God, you're just like my father."
"Oh, back to your dad, ha? Why are you so mad at him? Because he took your mommy from you?"
"He didn't take anyone. She's his wife. Also, I didn't say I was angry at him. He just tends to put words in my mouth when we argue. Not that we argue a lot. Normal amount of arguing. Can we get back to my girlfriend?"
"In a minute. Tell me about your friends. Do you have a close friend?"
"I have many friends. I'm real close with one of them. We've known each other since kindergarten, he's like a brother to me."
"Would you say you are real close?"
"Yes"
"Have you had sexual thoughts about him?"
"What??? No, not at all! A good friend, that's all! I am confident about my sexuality."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I am sure!!!"
"So why don't you love your girlfriend?"
"I adore my girlfriend!"
"A minute ago you said you weren't sure."
"I'm sure, I'm sure. I love her more than anything!!!"
"So why not marry her?"
(Silence)
I get up from the sofa. "Do you take checks?"
"Yes"
"Good. NIS 400 to Dr. Yehoshua.. what's your last name?"
"Freud"
I look up and see a big smile over his face. I didn't even think he was capable of smiling.
"I'm just kidding, it's Friedman"
"Thanks, Dr. Friedman"
"You can call me Shuki"
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