I want to say a good word about El Al. Yes, the airline.
I hope this will not hurt anyone’s feelings but I have not received a free ticket and I am not even a frequent flyer. I have no contract with them and I have no relative who works for them.
This dawned on me after I avoided flying El Al for several few years. It had to do with the pilots who would not keep their mouths shut and talked about “our flight plan today” in a voice that was at the same time authoritative and sloppy, as if we were on the way to rescue the hostages from Entebbe. Or the pursers who address the passengers as if they were a group of pilgrims.
At every foreign airport you could always guess from afar which gate belonged to El Al: at all the other gates people were sitting, yet next to the El Al gate people were milling around in confusion as if it was a demonstration. There was yelling and commotion; a woman with red hair who demands “I do not care, I want to see the manager…” and yeshiva students shockling, twirling their side locks, speaking in Yiddish and pushing ahead. And the luggage? The plane looks like it was a flying shtetl.
After boarding, a typical scene ensued: the crew pleading with the passengers to sit down, the purser reprimanding and threatening that unless everyone sits down, the plane will not take off. The pilot trying to help the crew as the situation quickly deteriorates to a screaming match: “Sit down!!! Miss!!! Sit down already!!! Everyone sit!!! This is impossible!!!”
Finally, the passengers settle down. But not for long. They can not, Jews need to move. It is a reminiscent of the Exodus. They get up, open the overhead compartment, and take something out. Then, they go to the restrooms where there is already a line like in a government office, or stand in the aisle and talk.
Perhaps it was the meals. At every other airline you can choose between a regular and a vegetarian meal, but on El Al, like in the Knesset, there are unique alternatives. There are glatt kosher meals, and there are vegetarian glatt kosher meals. Glatt kosher children’s meals, and regular kosher meals, and regular kosher vegetarian meals, and regular kosher meals for children.
I have no problem with people who keep kosher or avoid consuming meat but half of the passengers on the plane are no longer sitting in their allocated seats, and the meals are still listed according to the original seats.
“Glatt kosher vegetarian?”
“No”
“You are not…one minute…Friedman?”
“No”
“Ok, sorry…is there a Friedman here?”
“Here… stewardess, here”
“…Are you Friedman?”
“Yes”
“Did you request a glatt kosher vegetarian meal?”
“No”
“Wait a minute…is there another Friedman?”
Trying to get away from it all by listening to some music, does not work either. Only on El Al would the person next to you look at your tray, elbow you, and ask “are you going to eat that?"
The food issue is complicated because food is always an issue with Jews. The stewardesses ask “chicken or beef?” but after you choose the chicken it turns out that “there is no more, everyone wanted chicken today..."
In other words, it is not surprising that my friends who fly often and need to work and concentrate have chosen not to fly El Al. If I would ask my Israeli friends why they avoid the national carrier, they will look at me in disgust “El Al???”
Yet, I have just flown El Al three times in a row to and from New York. I must admit I was pleasantly surprised to see that things have changed.
Over the past few years, most airlines have stopped offering meals on the majority of flights. In the US - even if you are flying coast to coast - you get a package of crackers, a soft drink and a “leave us alone” attitude. Even on transatlantic flights you can feel a significant budget cut.
What I think happened at El AL is that someone realized that the time has come to cut a bit of the hysteria: the pilots have calmed down from their non-stop monologues and maybe they were reminded that the hostages from Entebbe had returned safely. The food was tastier and more plentiful than other airlines, as should be when dealing with Israeli clientele.
El Al might still not be a match to the business class of British Airways or Air France, where the pilots cover you with a blanket, tell you a bedtime story, massage your feet, and give you a robe. Yet even my American partner agreed that the El Al crew was very attentive, but not in the compulsive way of the past when even if you were sleeping with your mouth open they would stick a tray in it.
It seems the men and women of El Al still believe that El Al is the nation's airline, and that it still means something.
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