Iran leader Ahmadinejad. Bring back the horror
Photo: AFP
Life without the bomb
In wake of US report, Israel will have to find new archenemy to replace Iran
Here’s a story about man that was gravely ill. Some said it was a terminal disease. Yet the man was filled with joy, bit his lips bravely, stood erect, and declared: “I will not surrender! I will live my life and continue to grow and flourish.”
While he was doing everything in his power in order to grow and flourish, a man wearing a white robe, with a stethoscope around his neck and an embarrassed look in his eyes, knocked on the door.
“You’re healthy,” the man in the robe (who, by the way, happened to be a doctor) told the man. “What??” said the gravely ill man as he was growing pale. “Healthy,” repeated the doctor. “The illness is gone. It was cured. Your life has been spared.”
“Get out of here!” the formerly sick man yelled at the bearer of the news, “Who sent you here? What are you trying to do to me? Why are you haunting me?”
And then, the man slammed the door in the doctor’s face and fell to the floor, horrified and despaired. There was only sadness in his frightened eyes. What will happen to him now? What is the point of his life, without death lurking in the shadows?
This, more or less, is how the State of Israel has been behaving since the publication of that fatal American intelligence assessment, which with a few careless words destroyed the useful nuclear scarecrow that was so good to it in the past few years.
As is customary when one suffers shock, the initial response was silence. Then came the panic, convulsions, and pulling out of hair. Soon after we also saw the arrival of blind rage, insult, and failed attempts to regain composure. And now, more than a week after the traumatic event, it is time for the recovery phase. Damage control. Brave attempts to bring back the horror.
The more one examines this affair, the more one realizes we can find almost everything in it: A nice display of acrobatic commentary; an amazing display of political flexibility; a somewhat pathetic illustration of the Jewish victimization urge; and of course, a spectacular exhibit of the Israeli gleefulness in the face of archenemies.
Quickly we were presented with commentators and journalists who hinted that all the “odd mishaps” that led the Iranians to cease their bomb-producing efforts…guess who was behind them? You guessed right: Our guys.
Netanyahu’s acrobatic leap
Other writers slammed the failed, amateurish, ignorant, and gutless American intelligence establishment, which dared publish an opinion that is incommensurate with the writers’ own views. Yet when US intelligence assessments were commensurate with those views in the past, these writers only saw fit to lavish words of praise.The prime minister, after overcoming the initial shock, was quick to declare that he “ordered the Israeli intelligence establishment” to uncover the Iranian plot and prove to the world that the Persian bomb is alive and growing. He did not even notice that by doing so he illustrated with grotesque clarity why “strategic intelligence” is merely an obedient political tool that makes every effort to satisfy the wishes of its master. Only in extreme cases, when the master goes too far in terms of frivolity and shallowness, does the “strategic intelligence” decide to rebel and publish contradictory “assessments.”
Opposition Leader Benjamin Netanyahu displayed circus-like agility when he acrobatically leaped from the back of the dead Iranian horse to the back of the awaking education horse. Bravo.
Meanwhile, Minister of Strategic Affairs Avigdor Lieberman, seemingly one of the main victims of the Iranian scarecrow’s demise, will actually enjoy a good period. There is no doubt that he will be the man tasked with crowning the next terminal archenemy (while at the same time trying to revive the scarecrow that died.)
My guess is that the next archenemy would be Syria’s Assad Jr. He possesses chemical weapons and missiles, he hangs around with Holocaust deniers, the Americans can’t stand him, and he’s not exactly Zionist. This is more than enough to assume the “archenemy of the Jews” post.
And only then, when the mission will be successfully completed and we’ll see the crowning of evil Ahmadinejad’s successor (or partner,) calm will prevail in the country and the relaxing panic will return. After all, without a terminal archenemy around the corner, without a potential Holocaust hiding under our bed and a current-day Hitler in the closet, what kind of life would this be?
