people who shunned you, the ones who pretended to be religious, the ones who blamed you for the thoughts in your husband's brain, the ones who banished your children. These people had no compulsion to act in a hateful, spiteful way towards you and your children, they CHOSE to act that way and there is a payment due for that. Your city is not the only city where SOME of the Orthodox prance about, holier than thou, "religious" beyond belief and practice lashon hora to the nines. I have found the Orthodox to GENERALLY be the nicest, kindest people on the face of the earth and some phony, bitter, spiteful, hateful losers hide among them pretending to be the best of the best, the most religious of the religious, how sad. Your husband's troubles and your husband's death SHOULD not in any way affect how the Orthodox TREAT you. I believe you will get an apology from HaShem himself on judgement day for the way some of his chosen people treated you. Many other people have been treated like dirt by SOME of the Orthodox and it is WRONG, just plain WRONG.

your story may occur in any family whatever the religion of it ..but you must tolerate the comunity ,,i know it is the fault of the husband ,,ma he is sick ,and it is better to see a psycolygist than rabbi may he will help the husbond and the family ,,but sure god aske evry one about his sins ,,,but the comunity aske the children about the fault of the father ,,here is te wrong .god help you mother and children .and you must trust the god help

Cindy, my admiration to you for writing your story is enormous. I am sadly not shocked by the reaction of the community. This too ofthe is par for the course. It is was obviously a community that went by the rule of "our way or the bye way". Either do it our way or leave! Why? because they are aware that it is happening all the time, that homosexuality does exist and they won't address it. If the truth be told, they probably don't know how to address it. (No excuse as far as I am concerned). What has shocked me has been the reaction of so many in this talkback. People are so judgemental, that is, until it happens to them. Then they have every excuse in the book or go into a major depression because they cannot handle having happen to them, what they have previously so violently condemmed. Cindy, be strong. Wishing you and your children, strength, courage and the fortitude to hold your heads up high. You really deserve it, as not only did you all suffer so much in the past, but now too. From the positive feedbacks, it seems support is available for you all. Good luck

Don't blame Orthodoxy for your husband's suicide; most families deal with a member disclosing his or her sexual identity; occasionally, such a stress results in suicide, but only occasionally. Suicide results from an inability to deal with stress - not from the stress itself.

Why does this bother you so much? It doesn't actually hurt anything or anyone. Your arguments may be any of the following, all bourne of ignorance and the same hatred you condemn in Israel's very enemies: 1." It's unnatural" ANYONE WHO BELIEVES THIS IS UNEDUCATED - STUDY UP OR SHUT UP 2. "Reproduction is vital, these people are, by definition, anti-reproduction" NOT ONLY DO HOMOSEXUALS HAVE BABIES, THEY OFTEN ADOPT HETEROS' UNWANTED CHILDREN 3. "Homosexuals are responsible for AIDS" CHECK AGAIN - STUDYING TORAH IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR STUDYING REALITY 4. "It's icky" SO ARE MANY PEOPLE - I HEREBY COMMAND ANYONE I DON'T FIND ATTRACTIVE TO GET PLASTIC SURGERY OR STOP HAVING RELATIONSHIPS 5. "I'ts my business" SO DO YOU CONSIDER THOSE WHO LIKE BLUE-EYED BLONDES ANTI-SEMITES AND THEREFORE ALSO CURSED?

Dear Cindy, think before you speak. I am sorry that the Rabbi's did not show you Hashem's love and help you through your time or great trial. That is on their head. However, why would you expect the Rabbi's to condone sin. Hashem does not accept this behavior so how can you expect the Rabbi's to? There is an old saying "You have to stand for something or you will fall for anything". The solution to your problem and the Rabbi's problem is to repent and return to Hashem and His teachings and instructions and then you both will love one another. And neither of you will condone sin. My best to you and your sons. May they and you find the real truth and the real love of Hashem.

I don't hate them at all. i actually love them. However, it is not what you think or I think that matters. It is what Hashem says that you and I should be looking at. What is right in His eyes. This is what He said in Lev.20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. " I didn't say this it is written by Moses way before me. I can't change what Hashem said was wrong and neither can you. I wish you well and I hope this will help you in some way. Let us all return to Him. Let us pray for all people and love all people regardless of the sin but let us not love the actual act of the sin.

This whole story makes me so sad. Regardless of your views on what her husband did (and the adultery gets to me much more than the gayness; it is not a sin to *be* gay) -- she has suffered collateral damage because someone, years ago, convinced her husband that he could "cure" himself by marrying some unsuspecting (and probably very naive, at the time) woman. Cindy, for all of this, your children are a blessing from G-d; please take comfort in them. Your path is strewn with tears, but let us hope that eventually G-d will take up your tears and turn them to joy.

Leah, in a crowded field, you are the most vicious and ignorant. For all your talk of "torah" (which you do not capitalize) you apparenty celebrate divorce at the drop of a hat, using (when convenient) the secular and goy communities as your role model. Then, you turn around and say that "any behavior which does not follow the path of torah will only bring tragedy." Somehow you ignore the fact that the successes in Israel are mostly from what you would call "non-religious" Jews. You spend the lion's share of your ignorant and vicious rant on "Aids," which you don't even know is an acronym and thus "AIDS." If you wanted to implement your idiocy, you would have to screen for HIV not AIDS, and, even if you did so, it would have very little effect on the incidence of the disease, just on tourism. I cannot recall you saying ANYTHING of value in any previous Talkback. This one is no exception.

You are assuming because of what I say that I am a homosexual and therefore need help. Sorry, neither. I am accepting, which is even better than the euphamism "tolerant". Since you come from a southern state, I wouldn't expect you to register such a thing.

I guess I am the only person commenting here who is not buying this woman's "story". It was obviously made up to stir up controversy. The proof is in where her resentment lies - the orthodox community- rather than with the cheating scum of a husband she describes.

Is history repeating itself?

Homosexual behavior doesn't hurt anything or anyone? Perhaps on the planet you hail from, but on Earth it's pretty well known that homosexuals' behavior is the root cause of their hightened health risks. When I go to give blood, I'm asked to declare whether I've had sex with another man--EVER. And also if I've ever paid anyone--man or woman--for sex. Are they just being discriminatory, homophobic, hateful--or is there a medical reason for this curiosity? To ask the question is to answer it. Sodomy spreads disease; always has, always will. Ask any doctor whether this practice tends to benefit or hurt people. Still don't believe me? OK, answer this: If you needed one, would you prefer a blood transfusion from a random selection of gay men or from a random selection of straight, faithful, married men? Case closed.

Some people like eating ham sandwiches, cheese burgers, and shrimp cocktails. Some people like to cheat on their spouses. Some people like to abuse young children. All these things have one thing in common, they are lustful sins. There are behaviors that Hashem told us to avoid. You can still be an Orthodox person who does them, but the one who follows through on their lusts will pay the price. I believe that being gay is just another pleasure that we are not allowed to indulge in. If it wasn't fun and enjoyable nobody would do it. People need to look at it as another ilicit pleasure that we are not supposed to partake of. I think what we need to do is to follow the Torah's instructions for life, and we will have less unnecessary pain in our lives, and be much more fulfilled.

Clearly, the Orthodox (and especially the ultra-Orthodox) prefer to twist around logic, science, and common sense by insisting that being gay is a choice and can be avoided. Eventually, halacha will change it's view, just as polygamy, slavery, and barbaric notions permitted in the Torah are now forbidden. But many will suffer in the meantime. I won't suffer--I'm not Orthodox and I don't really care what the halacha says. It's not the gay folks on Sheinken or in Chelsea that suffer-they're not religious and don't care what the rabbis say. It's the people that are raised Orthodox, that strive to fulfill God's commandments, these are the people who suffer. It's the people in your communities: your children pay the price for your ignorance. What do you want your gay sons and daughters to do? Get married and live in loveless, fake marriages where sex is just going through the motions? This not only hurts the men, but their wives and children too. Or do you prefer that these men stay alone forever, and lead lonely lives with no close romatic relationships, without love? Even if you don't "approve" of homosexuality, wouldn't you want your son to find love and happiness with another person, even if it's a man? Would you really prefer he be alone forever? be honest. Finally: the son of a prominent rabbi is gay. I know him, and he has suffered tremendously. Because he was rejected by his family and community, he now lives with two gay men in New York City who act as surrogate parents. A very sad story, and totally avoidable. He suffers, his parents suffer, and for what? For ignorance.

This BS anti-Orthodox hate propaganda is too perfect to be true.

And YNet has to publish yet another bash-the-Orthodox hate screed? Our soldiers are dying, not because they could not control their lustful urges but because they are fighting and defending this land. All this anti-religious hate propaganda from the so-called "tolerant" gay crowd is just as evil as the threats coming from Hezbollah. Where is the "tolerance" you cry so much about? Only for you, not for those you don't agree with.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood [shall be] upon them.

Ethan, according to your logic why should polygamy be forbidden? After all, the Torah allows it and only those stuffy old fuddy duddy rabbis decided to forbid it. Whereas adultery and homosexualism are forbidden in the Torah, not by rabbinic decree. Allowing polygamy again would mean that a man who enjoys variety won't have to go sneaking around cheating on his boring wife with girlfriends or prostitutes. Or would you prefer that these men stay tied to their boring, unadventurous wives with no excitement in their lives? Even if you don't "approve" of polygamy, wouldn't you want your polygamous son to find love and happiness with a variety of partners, men and women? Would you really prefer he stay tied to the same boring person forever? be honest. Finally: the brother of a prominent secular gay activist is Orthodox. I know him, and he has suffered tremendously. Because he was rejected by his secular atheist family and community, he now lives with his wife and 9 children in Brooklyn. Whereas his gay brother will never reproduce, his children are the only grandchildren his atheist secular parents will ever have, although they totally rejected him because they disapprove of his religious lifestyle. A very sad story, he suffers, his parents suffer, his children suffer from their grandparents rejection and for what? For intolerance.

The most common excuse offered for allowing homosexual activity is that unrequited gay love can "cause suicide." There are many things that can cause depression and suicidal thoughts. Alcoholism and drug abuse. Should alcoholics be allowed to drink as much as they want and drug addicts have access to all the illegal drugs they want because they threaten to kill themselves if they are deprived? Even people who are not substance dependant or homosexual can become depressed and suicidal. I have suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts although I am not an addict or a homosexual. Thank G-D and also modern medical science I have learned to live with my illness and be happy and not drown in self pity. Taking one's own life because of an unfulfilled urge or addiction is the ultimate act of selfishness and manipulation of loved ones. Homosexual or other sexual conduct (or umlimited alcohol & drug consumption) is not a magic "cure" for depression: therapy and medication is!

I agree with #43. This story is clearly a fake. If, by some chance, I am misjudging it, then Cindy should have the mental clarity not to blame the Rabbis. Rabbi Margi's article does not condemn gay and lesbian Jews. It is purely about the march. The Rabbis are upholding the words of the Torah, which they do not have the right to change. Clearly, in this story, Cindy's husband was unfaithful to her, and caused her and himself much pain. This action which he chose to pursue is what led to the divorce and other negative consequences, not the attitudes of others who apparently did not even know what he had done. If Cindy and her children were, in fact, ostracized after the story came out, then this is very sad, and my heart would certainly go out to her. However, with a name like Cindy, I assume that she has seen other communities and countries. She clearly has options to move to other areas, where she can and will find acceptance. If she chooses not to remain "frum", then I would question her underlying commitment in the first place.

Cindy Naas - you have a big nobless of your soul... a dont't like "gay parade", a big media offensive... but never day for your sexual orientation... you try to live with he, you try to save him.. but 'ultra-Orthodox' condemn him... every man deserve a woman like you ! you deserve a place in HEAVEN ! GOD BLESS YOU !!!

You seem quick to point out the "fault" of Judaism. The only "fault" lies in the fact that most human beings are so judgemental and intolerant of anything/anyone the least bit different from themselves that they forgot we ALL come from G-d. In your stern response to this article, maybe you should listen to how hard and calloused you sound. We come from a loving and understanding G-d. I would think this is what He wants for us all, don't you?

You should practice what you preacvh. Did you choose your sexuality? I thought not, anymore than I "chose" mine! How arrogant and smug you sound. I think maybe YOU should read Torah or better yet, have a "one on one" with Hashem!!

Oh Ari, how tired you are. Open up your mind and heart instead of that quoting that same, tired Levitical script.

Dear Cindy, Many times I have thought the same way about what was happening in my life. After 17 years of marriage, you find out that everything was a lie. I also went through difficulties with the get and my sons have gone through a lot, but are heterosexual young men. We all went through therapy, except my ex, who refused to participate. My sons are healthy and wonderful young men. Now with this 12 years in the past, I plan to remarry. I am a member of a Conservative, egalitarian congregation, and the support I have gotten from the members there has helped me through. I urge you, Cindy, to consider joining this kind of community. You may find the level of observance to be looser, but the level of spirituality and caring is uplifting. Feel free to contact me, if you are in this and feel alone. The term collateral damage does not do justice to the experience. Shalom

To all of those who sent messages of kindness and also of consolation, I thank you so much. 1. Many of you have made assumptions about me and my children. One lady assumed I was "as deceptive as my husband". I need this explained, please. I entered into a marriage because I thought I was loved. You assumed I did not receive counseling, when in fact I did. From a secular therapist, as none of the frum ones would do so. 2. For those whou wished only to rant about homosexuality, I am not creating it,I am asking for Jews being treated with kindness. Is threatening viololence, is stabbing other people the way to show that Hashem's way is the way of truth? 3. For those of you who called me a fake, these words were the only ones which caused me pain. We all became tired of the judgmental ways in which we were treated. Just like the way you are behaving towards us. You don't like what I have to say, so you invalidate my story by insisting that my story is not real. It is real. We were shunned by everyone.Stories began flying- one lie spread that I had converted to Chr-stianity, chas v'shalom. In fact, your disbelief should prove to everyone here that what I say is true. You don't like to hear that Orthodox Jews judge others, but you know it is true. The shiva week, many came to me and said that this was such a shame, because my son was the best learner in his class and now he wouldn't be able to make a good shidduch.You know that in the frum world, everyone judges potential spouses by family background more than peronality, learning ability etc. You may not like that I am saying these things, but they are true. Ask your heart if you've ever heard of a girl who is given less desirable boys to meet because her parents divorced. Ask if you would want your children to marry the children of geirim - I've seen firsthand the offers my friends received for their beautiful and tznius daughters. You judge, and therefore you harm others. To the man who even judged me based on my name, there are many FFB Jews whose parents gave them English names as well as Hebrew ones. I know many, including a few rabbis. You assumed something about me again. Shame on you - I hope you think about this at least once on Tisha B'Av. I will. I haven't given my real name, or the city in which I live, because I don't wish to cause embarassment to the people in that city. My name would be easily recognizable . My commitment to frumkeit was unquestionable. However, I had to get my children out of that situation. My 4 year old was teased at school, and was beaten up by older boys. My oldest child tried to complain, and a rav took him by his shirt, shook him, and told him that he already came from a 'bad' family, that he shouldn't make things worse for the yeshiva. Explain to me, please, what my childen did to be treated this way. The three youngest don't know any of this about their father except that he killed himself. They had no part in what happened to him besides being born. My point was to beg you to at least show kindness to those whose orientation is different from yours. People don't become heterosexual any more than they become gay -it's just a part of who you are. Furthermore, to rabbis who counsel gay men to marry so that they will be cured, stop it at once! A woman is not a cure . As I said before, I don't appreciate having become collateral damage injured by a man who ws told to marry. My children were harmed by this attitude - don't do it to anyone else's children! Cindy

Praised be Ha Eretz and Am Yisrael, that in the middle of a war against a group of mamsers trying to destroy us we have the ability to discuss an issue such as this, regardless of our opinion or feelings on the subject. This helps separate us from those 8th Century throwbacks in turbans.