Just because you disapprove of her choice of words you question the kashrus of her kishkes? Right what you said, right there, is what is most wrong with us (we strictly Orthodox folks). Blessing us all to clean *all* the khametz from ourselves this week ...

In a society where you have thousands of marriages a year percentage wise there is always going to be some fallout, its a physical impossibility. However, the divorce rate is incomparable to the secular and non-Jewish world which is in ranges near 50%, let alone the couples who choose to live together, have children and provide no committment or stability to this supposely joke of a home they are providing...No committment. This article tells 1 per cent of the story and leaves out the incredible world of building a true jewish life for generations as oppossed to what is going on in the secular world

Not allowed to talk to men? You mixed it up with Muslim I guess. Still I hope to be strictly orthodox without wearing black and white. Why can't the writer say Haredi? She even makes a difference between the "strictly orthodox approach" and the "Jewish approach" - that's telling a lot.

Beautiful AND smart! I love her!

As the father of 2 happily married daughters (with another 5 at home), I have a little experience with the 'Shidduch' issue. The biggest advantages of a Shidduch are: 1. When the boy and girl meet, they know that there are no 'technical' issues that would prevent a marriage. These include genetic incompatibility, finances, health, etc. 2. When the boy and girl meet, they understand that the ONLY reason for the meeting is to determine whether or not they should marry. As a result, there is no advantage to impressing the other person, and the children are focused on the issue at hand. 3. When they marry, they know that they are not 'in love', but the potential for love to grow exists. The outcome will be determined by the work THEY put into the marriage. The benefits are clear. The divorce rate is so far below that of the non-religious population, that any criticism is unwarranted. This doesn't mean that there is no room for improvement. But there is a big difference between constructive criticism and blind condemnation.

One set of potential in laws wanted to know about my great great grandparents, I told them that i had not met them but if they wanted I would be happy to provide them with my last colonoscopy report or if that was not satisfactory I could tell them where my ancestors were buried and they could exhume them to interogate them!

"Not allowed to talk to men? You mixed it up with Muslim I guess. " It's simply not fair to make up words and put it in his mouth. He said: "she would not be talking to the many men she lists" He never claimed that it's not allowed. However, the "Strictly Orthodox" DO stay away from casual conversation between the sexes. If you think that this is a Muslim idea, I suggest looking up Hilchos Ishus (32) in the Shulchan Oruch. He is VERY straight forward and he is quite Jewish.

telling the truth so that nice chareidi boys and girls are not pressured into miserable marriages they hate and cause them to be suicidal is for a purpose and thus toeles and thus is not against the din in fact it is a mitzva to speak out

"in fact it is a mitzva to speak out " Really? Does it fit the seven conditions of Toeles that the Chofetz Chaim lays out in Hilchos Loshon Horah? Is it 100% accurate? No. The author herself lied concerning her own status. Will it actually achieve her/your desired result? No. Articles on YNet are certainly not going to change the religious world. The list goes on. Since, you, nor the author, have met the qualifications for speaking out, you are both according against the halacha of loshon horah.

which of the seven conditions have i not met

In many Christian, and especially evangelical churches, it is often required that the couple planning on getting married takes courses and speaks to a pastor/councillor before that church body will allow them to get married. This way we try to make sure that the two people are compatible with each other and it also flushes out any problems that might arise later in the marriage. And in cases where there are major irreconcilable problems, we do refuse to marry the couple. True there still is a high rate of divorce in the Evangelical community, but we’re working on it and I believe that pre-marital counselling is an important step in stopping the disintegration of today’s marriage.

i have not critised any jews groups or individual apart from those people who pressure people to get married agaist their will or is this something you approve of ?critisising people for doing things wrong and saving people from miserable warriages and divorce is not loshon hora i am not against shidduchs where both parties want to get married to each other

RW are you a shadchan and if so have any of your matches ended in divorce

I'm sorry to say that i'm shocked with the authors repeated anti religious comments.Let me ask you a question . If you brought up a child lovilngly for the first 25 odd years is it not reasonable to want to know exactly to whom he'll be spending the rest of his life with?Unfortunately in this world there are people who are entirely unsuited to eachother who get married in the name of 'love' and afterwards everyone sees the results. The religious people are just more careful and want to know before it's to late if the couple are suited.

just saw on cnn that the divorce rate amongst those in india from marriages arranged by parents is less than 2% compare that to the 50% in the U.S.

"RW are you a shadchan and if so have any of your matches ended in divorce" No. But I unfortunately know too many who are divorced. They were not told to stay in their marriage. "i am not against shidduchs where both parties want to get married to each other " A shidduch is halachically not allowed to go through if they don't want to marry each other. "i have not critised any jews groups or individual apart from those people who pressure people to get married agaist their will" I know of no cases like this. If there are it's extremely rare. "which of the seven conditions have i not met " See #39. I listed two there already. "when people advise counselling in marriage what they mean is take a course in how to be abused and learn to enjoy it " Now, if this isn't a broad statement that's loshon horah, I don't know what is. The counseling I and my wife took before I got married was not like this. You seem to be taking whatever problems you have with your marriage and making a sweeping generalization about everybody elses. Unfortunately, divorce is a real thing in the religious community and happens all too often, despite what you or the author may think.

my comment concerning counselling was not a broad statement it concerned couples in which one partner wants a divorce the toeles is that chareidi people will see my posts and make sure thir children are not pressurised into unsuitable matches and i bet you ththose fifteen divorces arose due to the fact that pressure was placed on the couple you don know of shadchan who break the halacho because you are ill informed not because it doe not happen

"and i bet you ththose fifteen divorces arose" "I bet"? No... halacha doesn't work that way. If you want it to be toeles, you have to KNOW 100% the facts. "I bet" does not satisfy the halachah.

This depends on what a person would consider high. The US divorce rate is 43%. The divorce rate among Greek Orthodox Christians in the US is 14%. It is true, however, that people in the US have an unrealistic view of what marriage will bring. Women want men to change and men want women to stay the same.

tal is naive. most people i know who are charedi and divorced were just too selfish and lazy to change and adjust for eachother and their children and families are the victims. the stats aren't any better for secular people so what's the point of adopting their dating and marriage practices. it's hard living with others. either put in an effort or if you don't plan to, stay single.

RW stop misqoting me and miscontexting me TO ACCUSE ME FALSELY OF SAYING LOSHON HORA and i suggest you learn more concerning onas devorim before you accuse someone of telling loshon hora make sure you are 100% accurate

So, if you don't come from the narrow segment of the orthodox world comprised of Hareidim from Europe who ascribe to this particular and peculiar point of view you aren't strictly orthodox? Nonsense.

" So, if you don't come from the narrow segment of the orthodox world comprised of Hareidim from Europe who ascribe to this particular and peculiar point of view you aren't strictly orthodox?" No... If you don't try your best to follow the Torah, you're not Strictly Orthodox.

It's hard to misquote you, when the quotes are all there for people to see.

Author should be more thoughtful and careful when expressing himself. He has some points (eg rabbis are not necessarily all suitable marriage counsellors, you have to be compatible at some levels to be comfortable with a partner beyond religious compatibility), but this approach is not helpful. Divorce is a terrible tragedy and should be avoided at much cost,except where there is adultery, abandonment or severe abuse.

the CHOFETZ CHAIM says you should don odom lecav zechus and before you determine if an action was wrong you should clarify with great deliberation whether an action is wrong or right so to determine that my statement that i bet you that those fififteen divorces arose is loshon horo and judging it in the worst possible light before clarifying the issue does not meet one the seven conditions of the CHOFETZ CHAIM the world assumes wronglythat when divorce occurs one or both parties is in the wrong i implied that when divorce occurs both parties are 100% kosher but they unfortunately got married to the incorrect zivug or partner due to well meaning but misguided pressure from others where is the loshon horo in that

but I'm tired of the stock photo constantly used to represent haredim on Ynetnews. It's a picture of two men, apparently minding their own business, who don't want to be photographed. Don't they deserve privacy?

The original article is in Hebrew and you're judging the writer on the translated RESULT. In the Hebrew, the term used was "klafta" which I'm willing to bet that YOU use on occasion yourself without considering it vulgar. As a religious Jew, you should be more careful to check your sources before slandering another Jew.

Tali you're adorable and have a charming way of writing but your article on divorce in orthodox community is only half the story and maybe exaggerated.

"that whole thing about "irreconcilable differences" has been shown to be bologna. well functioning marriages have been found by studies to have JUST AS MANY irreconcilable differences then failed marriages/divorces. the differences is in whether they allow those differences to become a big deal or not." Ditto. The difference between successful and unsuccessful marriages is not the absence/presence of problems. All marriages have problems. The difference between successful and unsuccessful marriages is the way the couples choose to handle those problems. A competent marriage counselor can help. Divorce is certainly an option, but should be a last resort rather than a knee-jerk response, especially if there are children involved. And yes, this is an Orthodox perspective.