Jewish Scene
Rabbi Aviner: Divorcees are just as valuable, if not more so
Kobi Nahshoni
Published: 03.02.08, 15:26
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36 Talkbacks for this article
1. I've been divorced - twice!!
Chaya ,   Bat Yam, Israel   (02.03.08)
And I finally found my 'beshert!' And we are very happily married! For ten years now!
2. divorced religious women
RobertK ,   Jerusalem   (02.03.08)
I'm secular but had a relationship with a divorced religious woman who was in despair about her rejection by the religious world. Religious men--you don't know what you're missing!!
3. Divorcees?
Barry ,   Tel Aviv   (02.03.08)
What is this Rabbi talking about? Unless this is a problem unique to the National Religious movement. I know many previously-unmarried Orthodox men who have married divorced women, and have been quite happily married.
4. Go Rabbi! Rabbi for PM!
(02.03.08)
5. to #1
zev ,   scottsdale   (02.03.08)
and I was an orthodox GUY who married for a third time to a never married secular Israeli...u don't know what ur missing :Third Time's the Charm!
6. Modernizing attitudes towards divorce among Orthodox
(02.03.08)
I don't see why there should be in this day and age such prejudice against the divorcees. Look, if someone got divorced, it was because the marriage didn't have any hope. Leaving it to look for a better environment would seem the right thing to do.
7. Nice Rabbi (for a change)
Talula ,   Israel   (02.03.08)
However, who is ANYONE to judge anyone? Divorced women pack their bags and their kids and run from mentally and physically abusive husbands. Men who are allowed to remarry and do it to someone else. Why is there no prejudice against a divorced man? It's a pity the good rabbi didn't bring that small part up as well. But, this is Judaism, and it's always the women's fault. How sad.
8. Chaya , and you made a 3td try !
charles ,   petach tikva   (02.03.08)
Well , much courage , that's what you had . For once i agree with this Rabbi .
9. Everyone deserves a second chance
Jack ,   USA   (02.03.08)
In most cases a divorced woman is more mature, smarter and just better in every way than those who have not gone though adversity. She knows what she wants and when two adults meet, they know if there is a connection in values or not.
10. Just like Evangelicals who demean divorcees...
sarah   (02.03.08)
No wonder I observe outside any synogogue...
11. Well done Rabbi! Way to go!
Avi ,   USA   (02.03.08)
There are many more prejudices to tackle.
12. I have been divorced 4 times!
Moishe ,   detroit USA   (02.03.08)
But the character flaws of my 4 husbands are never considered!!! I am a blameless, perfect person who has made some poor choices in MEN! Why shouldn't they be blamed since is it ALL THEIR FAULT!!!
13. GOOD CALL , RABBI !!
RCA ,   USA   (02.03.08)
Now, people should help support the SHINUI PARTY.
14. to #12
RobertK ,   Jerusalem   (02.03.08)
Maybe one thing your husbands didn't like is that you have a man's name, Moishe. It's not considered feminine and doesn't make a man feel like a man if he has a woman who has a man's name. Have you considered Sally, Cindy, Susie, or Suzette?
15. Actually, Charles (8), I was very lucky!!
Chaya ,   Bat Yam, Israel   (02.03.08)
I was about 49 when we met! And that is NOT an easy age for a woman to be single in Israel!
16. May Hashem bless ...
Maidel ,   NY   (02.03.08)
...Rabbi Aviner for his Torah-true statements, as well as YNET for showing that not all rabbis are anti-women.
17. Chaya
charles ,   petach tikva   (02.03.08)
In French there is a saying : toutes les bonnes choses se passent en trois . All good things happen 3 times . Now being a 49 year young divorcee is not easy anywhere , not only here .
18. Moishe [ ? ]
charles ,   petach tikva   (02.03.08)
A perfect person does'nt make poor choices , so .....? I'll add , only for you , the "perfect Blameless" person , a dutch saying . Zelfs een ezel trapt niet tweemaal in dezelfde stront . Even a donkey doesnt make the same stupidity two times [ the original has a smell , not an exact traduction ]
19. Sad that a Rabbi even has to say this
Abe Froman ,   NY, NY   (02.04.08)
Loving your fellow Jew is incumbent on all of us. It's sad a Rabbi like Aviner has to remind us of what we already should know.
20. Yesterdays news becomes today news
Al   (02.04.08)
Good grief. Change the bed sheets will ya...next....
21. Charles
Umm Danny ,   Israel   (02.04.08)
Great that you are linguistically talented, but vous ne travaille pas, ayant trop de temps libre
22. So why can't Cohenim marry them?
Dorothy Friend ,   Tel Aviv   (02.04.08)
23. What about divorced men
mother of four ,   Israel   (02.04.08)
or is this once again the so-called religious discriminating against women?
24. Divorcees don't have horns
Eli ,   Israel   (02.04.08)
Silly rabbi, After turning women into chattels, forcing them to dress in ways that you have deemed modest, wear lampshades on their heads and other inappropriate apparel, forbidding them status in law, marrying them off when they are young and inexperienced, how do you expect your public to treat them? You are to blame for the attitudes, you and your ilk.
25. Divorced Women
Amanda Rich ,   Ramat Gan, Israel   (02.04.08)
Look generaly larger after bearing one or more children. This turns -off many potential candidates. Stupid them, who turn away from a woman who proved she is capable of bearing and raising up children. Actually the extra kilos are the result of stress, and may rapidly disapear once she feels loved again. Single men who were not even married once before and reached the age of 35+ are a plague in our religious society. They will not "lower their standards" for anything "less" than than the beauty of the community. That at least is the "revenge" of the divorcees. These men who find them too overweight are not even fulfilling the commandment to reproduce and multiply. They live under the old age feeling they will get a youger lady to make children - sure!
26. # 10
Connie ,   Virginia   (02.04.08)
"just like evangelicals to demean...I observe outside any synagogue". Are you a Christian or a Jew? Not that it makes any difference. Evangelical and pentecostal churches have come around to be more merciful and forgiving towards divorcees. That is Christs' way of dealing with us. What better way to deal with us. I go to an Assembly of God church here in Virginia and that is where I have found ongoing healing and spiritual restoration. There is forgiveness. The hardest part is forgiving ourselves.
27. 24 Eli , you have no idea of the power of Women
S Judah ,   London   (02.04.08)
There may be some superficial agreement to your observations. But the public image in no way reflects the power of the woman in a religious marriage that is sucessful as the vast majority are. They really are the power behind the throne. Even with the Hassidic Rebbes. As my Rabbi says, I always have the last word and its "yes dear".
28. this is a bit of rubbish....
(02.04.08)
Divorce is allowed in Judaism. this rabbi is hiding something else behind his declaration...like for example husbands who refuse to give their wives a "get" (bill of divorce). Now those guys are being disrespectful and nasty and what is this good Rabbi doing about it? Nothing except declaring the obvious that divorced women are kosher. gimme a break!
29. to #28
sarah   (02.04.08)
For your information I left christianity and converted to Judaism after realizing what a horrible faith it is. Your experience is your experience. Mine was mine--and I was persecuted for being divorced. Horrible things were said to me. And listen, I am a very modest and respectable woman. Christians love going around declaring they are frgiving and all inclusive, but the truth is it is a veryawful and negative religion responsibile for most of the suffering in this world. I truly believe that jesus christ was/is the satan. Now, this stuff said; my father was Jewish and I converted and have enjoyed my Jewish life immensely. Judaism is wonderfully positive. I particulary love that when I apply the old Chrisitan (so-called) principle of putting everything in the hands of G-d and he'll direct your life, I can clearly see how my life is 150% better since I left jesus and his followers behind.
30. 21 Umm Danny
charles ,   petach tikva   (02.04.08)
May i correct your French ? Vous ne travailleZ [ vous is plural , so EZ ] pas . Ayant trop de temps libre [ google traduction ? ] Is wrong . Vous avez beaucoups de temps , or the whole : Ne travaillant pas , vous avez beaucoups de temps . It's not only talent , it's also a necessity , and common to the secular Jews in my birth town .
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