Naturally this is only included in YNet news for ridicule purposes, but aside from that, the Lithuanian Rabbis finally getting involved is too little; too late. I for one am waiting to see good news - I've told my sons that no way are they to even dare try to make financial demands.

I knew that there were such problems , but to sell a kidney for a wedding ? Are people become crazy ?

It's not mainly for the wedding! Meshulachim who come to Canada collecting for "hachnasat Kalla" have clarified to me that in Chareidi cricles, the custom is that the father of the bride has to provide the young couple an apartment. THAT's the killer for most of these parents.

With all my respect Rabbi, why don't they look for work? Isn't it that: "Ein Torah im ein avoda"?

...and learn to be well rounded, independent.

I checked out, that,in those old days, they stayed in tents , so it was not to expensive to give new tents for the newly wedded couples, these days the practice changed,and some grooms/ really take advantage of poverty and the tradition. this is some kind of SELF IMPOSED TAX and ALSO STUPIDITY ! Jewish Parents who are rich, just like to throw grand weddings but not all could do that,actually we as children dont like all that pompous weeding parties, 7 dya 7 ninths stuff.These wedding could get extra- territorial too,wedding parties that starts in singapore, continues for 6 months to Israel, London, Austria, New York.Jewsih like to party and if you are the only son, you had it. so please stop all that rubbish, just get married in the synagogue and as small part and done. and I dont like the white piece of embroided cloth with the special opening- DISGUSTING !

I'm with #6 here. If you want something you can't afford, get a job so you can buy it. It doesn't matter if what you want is a necessity or if it's frivolous.

Once upon a time a talmid chacham was the thing to be. Now, of course, it's the rabbis themselves who set the standard of kiddush hakesef with their outlandish weddings with 20000 people coming. The people learn from the rabbis. The rabbis have lowered themselves to be materialistic heathen who bestow the sin of pride on themselves and each other. Why else would they allow a son or daughter to be married with ten or twenty thousand people coming to the wedding. The guest all trip over each other seeking avodah zarah....worshipping rabbis instead of Hashem, and looking for favor instead of mitzvot. Shame on the haredi leaders. Change the situation yourselves. The next time you marry a son to the daughter of another rabbi, invite 400 people and zehoo.

very selfish kids should work too

Hi Charles. You are totally right, and I hope and assume that this was a "one-off", wacky question that only found it's way to Rav Elyashiv because it was so unusual. Regarding #6 - you are right about working, and things are moving along there as well - thank G-d. My opinion (for what it's worth) - unless they are in the VERY small % of those who are truly brilliant and can become the next generation's spiritual leaders - they should learn for a couple of years after marriage in order to create a Torah atmosphere in their new home and then they should be learning a trade, getting a job, and learning in the evenings.

we live to eat, we don't eat to live. Without the generosity of Jews businessmen, we couldn't live.

well duh !

Often times it's the pride of the parents to show off that they can afford something that they really can't. THAT is ridiculous. Show-offy parents and those "keeping up with what all of my friends" kids have got to rein-it-in. It's out of hand already. "Gaiveh"

that they are prepared to sell parts of their bodies to fund "necessary" expenses rather than getting a job and going out and doing an honest days work, like the rest of us plebs have to? If you cant keep 'em, dont breed 'em!

The world exists because of Torah scholars. It is the duty of all "working" people to support them because otherwise the world will stop. This means, if they have a daughter, providing a living for the couple if she marries a scholar. If people think they have to sell a kidney to accomplish this, it means that they have no faith or played their cards wrong somewhere. I'm sure this is what horrified the rabbis, to discover that even in their community there are people who think Jewish values just mean kissing the mezuza.

isn't. Great value system.

First of all your statement " the world exists because of Torah Schollas" well that is a religious belief not a fact and certainy not a fact that is accepted by the majority of hard working tax payers. No i will not suppor them, they are a bunch of parasites who should get off their holly a***s and get a job ! If they have the energy to riot and cause trouble they can get a job and serve in the army. What about my daughter studying to be a doctor who will go on to save peoples lives, alright for her to serve in the army is it. why is her blood less valuable then theres?

YOU'll DONT BE CRAZY LIKE MY ABBA AND IMMA. THE AMOUNT OF MONEY THEY SPEND ON MY WEDDING COULD HAVE SUPPORTED 10 WEDDINGS an d20 funerals ! THE SAME GOES TO MY SEXY WIFE'S PARENTS.The morocans = french are wedding party animals :-) BOTH SIDES NEED NOT SELL KIDNEYS , BUT I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT TO A CERTAIN EXTEND. THEY GET TOo EXCITED especially WHEN OUR YESHIVA BOYS GET MARRIED.THEY JUST GIVE BIG GIFTS. I DONT BLAME THEM . MY JEWSIH COMMUNITY IN SINGAPORE JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN- ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO WEDDINGS. I HONESTLY THINK WE JEWS NEED TO SUPPORT THE YOUNG RABBIS BUT NOT ALL in general ! BUT YOU MUST BE CAUTIOUS WITH YOUR WORDS, RABBIS ARE TEACHERS AND THEY HAVE DEDICATED THEIR LIFE TO TEACHING THE TORAH . I PERSONALLY KNOW A FEW WHO DESERVE THE SUPPORT. TAKE IT ,GRAND WEDDINGS IS A NORM AMONG JEWS. HERE IN SINGAPORE, WOULD BE COUPLES FLY TO HONG KONG TO MAKE THE WEDDING DRESS. SOME EVEN GO TO LONDON AND LA. i am begin to get a grip on this GRAND WEDDING THING after reading all the post here. 6 Million JEWS WERE MURDERED BY THE GERMANS, THEY ( germans )MURDERED THE GENERATION OF FAMILIES THAT WOULD HAVE COME OUT OF THE 6 MILLION. wedding is a celebration of life in Jewish Minds. about MARRYING SCHOLARS ? JEWISH BOYS ARE ALL PHD SCHOLARS,IT IS NO LONGER THE EXCLUSIVE SCHOLARSTIC arena OF RABBIS.Similarly our Jewish Girls are all highly educated. NEVERTHE LESS I ADMIT , WE DO SUPPORT YESHIVA BOYS, WE CANNOT SAY NO ! About cost , how to cut COST on marriage ceremonies that goes 7 days 7 nights ? it has become a trent in Singapore, for one reason- jews in singapore are fat rich. and please dont under estimate the LITHUANIAN JEWS , !

Before the state of Israel was established, the world kept going just fine with Torah scholars working for a living. The quality of their work was a lot higher too. Israel has produced more Torah scholars in the past 60 years than we had in our entire history but none of them have produced anything like the works of Hillel or Maimonides.

In these circles, if you can't pay for half of a wedding and half of an apartment, nobody will marry your kid. Sad but true. I got offended when I got a letter from a rabbi that in Israel there is a poor couple that wants to get married and need money for the wedding and an apartment. The fathers are Torah scholors as is the groom. We were a young couple, my husband was a student and didn't have a father. We were both working hard to eat. We didn't have our own apartment. Instead of a donation I wrote back a nasty reply

When fancy funeral were getting out of hand, rabbis decided that we had to have a plain pine coffin. Maybe its time to put a limit on weddings too. If a couple has a small wedding with just a few family and friends, they will be just as married. I think big weddings are a waste of money.

It's time that the Yeshiva World realized that all the men who have been Yeshiva students "forever", get off their rear-ends and get a real job. While learning Torah is a mitzvah; it's also a mitzvah to support your family. Our ancient sages all had occupations (wood cutters, water carriers, merchants, etc.)---work was not beneath them. Rosh Yeshivas should issue an edict that after 2 children----a man must find employment; one can still learn Torah in the evenings, Shabbat, etc.

I've heard of religious weddings with well over 1,000 invitees, if not over 1,500. This is simply absurd. The rest of us try to keep our expenses down, and they live like money grows on trees. Especially in todays' economic reality, no one has any business throwing such a big bash. In the good old days in the U.S. kids used to work (even at more than one job) to rent or buy their own apt., and even pay for their weddings. Who says the parents have to tote the bill for all this? What happened to doing a days work for a paycheck? And to someone who said the world will stop if there's no Torah study. Not sure I agree with that. Anyhow, in other countries, the religious men hold JOBS in addition to studying. They don't leave their wives to raise a brood of children and work all day, while they sit.

TOVA AND SUSAN You are so right. I constantly hear about how poor the religious sectors are. No meat for Shabbat, no holiday food, etc etc. Studies have shown they are the poorest segment of Israeli society. So how is it, that they allow themselves to have these huge fancy weddings? It is pure insanity.

among asians,it is the children who must look after their parents in their old age..a way of expressing gratitude for their parents sacrifices on their education n needs..in western countries,upon reaching the age of 18 one has to fend for himself and maybe get a bit of support from parents if they can afford to do so..otherwise you have to stand with ur own two feet..this practice in israel where parents must be supporting their children until they get marry n have their own family is totally acceptable.my sister has a family of her own also but she still give support to my parents ..so am i

....with a picture of a crying kid captioned, "Mama, you promised us a chicken for Shabbos"? I always think why is Mama making promises that she cannot fulfil. It's not only the fundamentalists who go into debt for weddings, but at least the seculars are feeding their kids without schnorring.