6. Double Talk Guide for the Perplexed
Avi Israeli , |
Tel Aviv |
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(07.22.13) |
Over the next few months, we will read many convoluted and confusing terms regarding the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
For greater understanding and clarity of what these terms actually mean, refer to this convenient guide.
'Urged'=Coerced
'Negotiations'=Arm-twisting
'Concessions'=Swallow this pill
'Painful concessions'=Get ready for an untold number of Israeli civilian deaths and casualties (again)
'Final Agreement'=The End of Zionism
'Hardcore prisoners'=Terrorists with blood on their hands
'Two State Solution'=Palestine and Jordan
'Our Middle East partners'=Corrupt Israeli/Palestinian officials
'Senior Palestinian Official'=Someone on a 'slush fund' payroll
'Land for peace'=Your land or your life
'Occupied East Jerusalem'=Gilo, Ramot, Givat Zeev, East Talpiot, Maale Adumim, French Hill, Ramat Eshkol, Pisgat
Zeev, Neve Yaacov, The Jewish Quarter of the Old City (essentially, where most of the Jewish population resides in Jerusalem)
'Shuttle Diplomacy'=Let's make this appear like it took six trips to achieve
'American Pressure'=Leverage from scandulous dirt collected on Gmail, Twitter, Hotmail, Skype and phone conversations
'Leverage'=Blackmail
'Council on Foreign Relations'=Hill of Evil Council
'An agreement has been reached'=We decided, even if you don't agree
'According to (senior,anonymous, official) sources'=We're making this stuff up to fit our narrative
'According to the NYT, Washington Post, CNN'=According to White House officials
'Full normalization with Arab League States'=Israeli Embassies in Damascus and Beirut (A NOT Joke!)
'EU Sanctions against Israel'=Neurenberg Laws II
'P5+1'=Square root of zero+zero
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