What ever the reason it does not matter but what does matter is the fact that two people can not marry each other until they really know each other. In this society they don't really no much about the birds and the bees and the night of the wedding is the first time that they touch. I am not against that but you do have to know more about each other and understand your feelings. And what if he was gay, then he was good to recognize his feelings and not hurt his bride to be. On the other hand she might have respected him with his gay feeling if he would tell her first as its not the first time that a straight marries a gay and it works. But being the closed society that it is he would be to afraid to tell the truth. But this is all speculation.

i should not have fallen into lashon hara.this was a BIG MISTAKE. Indeed a gay Haredi might be considered a rebel. Thank you for the remonstrance,which will allow me to be more careful next time.

has be found. Tora laws are made for all men and as such are not out of reach of anybody.There must be a way to be able to follow them. Where there is a will,there is a way. It will be a hard struggle,but the reward will be grandiose.

confused with the Commandments of HaShem. Gesenius' Hebrew Lexicon says a betrothal is as binding as a marriage. One betrothed, one cannot break a betrothal without Scriptural grounds or a subsequent marriage to someone else will be adulterous to HaShem. That is very serious, not to men but to HaShem. US President Abraham Lincoln did not go to his wedding to Mary Todd at first. He ran away. The woman he loved Ann Rutherford died and he was marrying a woman he could never love as he loved Ann Rutherford. But after not showing up the first time, he did marry Mary Todd Lincoln. She did not bring him joy, but afflictions. But the children she bore him brought him unspeakable joy that was so immense that he took the children to work with him at the Post Office and later at a law office whenever he could. Few husbands love their wives since it is a learned behaviour. Scriptures says, "Husbands love your wives". It does not come naturally, but by doing what is pleasing to HaShem. If lust is what pleased HaShem, the males would run off with other women all the time which is happening in a lot of places. But the Haredim have a higher calling than that. If this man does not provide for the fiance for her lifetime with or without marriage or until someone marries her, he will have denied the faith, a sin HaShem cannot forgive. HaShem's people are not called to be "happy". They are called to be HOLY. This fellow does not wish to be holy, so throw him out of the community as he is a dog.

DNA that is part fallen angel if the person is lucky. Fallen angels love sodomy because they are fallen and despise the laws of HaShem. If the sodomites are part fallen angel in their DNA, then they cease to exist at death since HaShem does not hold them accountable for being born. If the sodomites do not have aberrent DNA, then it is a choice to disobey HaShem who hates sodomy and they will not enter HaShem's kingdom unless they repent and forsake what HaShem loathes and condemns and hates.

Love is a learned behavior and feeling. Love is not lust. But since the male (I cannot call him a man) left his betrothed, he must provide for her for her lifetime and not marry unless she first marries or his marriage to anyone else will be adultery to HaShem. Love lasts because it is a commitment to obey HaShem. Lust does not last since it is license to sin and abandon the object of lust. When King Henry VIII of England was betrothed to Anne of Cleves from Germany, he fell in love with a painting of her that was not realistic. When he saw her in person, he refused to marry her since she was ugly to him. BUT, he provided for Anne of Cleves in England all of her life because it was a disgrace for him not to marry her unless he provided for her since she could not go back to Germany in disgrace without political consequences.

So Jews aren't allowed to be happy? Really... The groom didn't want to get married. That's his decision. He has to live with it, and surely he agonized over what to do. It's not our place to judge, Urely there's much more detail to this story than what was reported here.

it is catastrophic for the female who is abandoned by a fiance after a public announcement of the engagement that is as binding to HaShem as a marriage. People who do not love HaShem and His Commandments are not subject to them. They can be happy instead of holy if that is their wish but they will not enter HaShem's eternal kingdom. Very few are called and chosen and faithful to the end of the race of faith. The calling to be holy is a joy not a happiness. It is joy in knowing and obeying HaShem, not a happiness in unfortunate circumstances.

and give you his shalom peace.

But in Israel, a Bride or Groom leaving his/her partner at the Hupa is grounds for a civil lawsuit called "Breach of Promise". An engagement, or in the case of an Israeli Jew, registration for a wedding at a Rabbanut office, is considered a binding legal contract. You can stay in your delusional world, wherever that may be, but what I've written here is the reality in Israel.

In earlier generations the bride didn't discover the bridegroom had cold feet until after the wedding!

My friend's daughter lived for several years with a man she had known since childhood as neighbours. They then got married and eleven weeks later she decided to leave him! On the other hand I met my future wife five times before getting engaged and we've been happily married for 25 years.

In the UK media August is known as the 'silly season' when any old non-sense makes the news because everybody important is on holiday. However, even in desperation I can't see 'Fleet Street' covering a cold feet non-event!

with you that an engagement is as binding as a marriage. A civil lawsuit for Breach of Promise is justified. But the worse aspect is that one who leaves an engagement or marriage without Scriptural grounds means that a marriage to someone else is adulterous to HaShem. People who do not love HaShem and His Commandments are not subject to them but they don't enter His Kingdom, either.

Guys have chickened out of weddings both before and after the event, for all sorts of reasons. The stuff that's posted here is disgusting. He's gay... REALLY where did that come from. They'd should have met before - what difference would that make, Lots of secular marriages break up because "I did not know what sort of person they were".. Load of sh.. stiring cr..

If this hadn't been about haredi this spot would have been given to the weather report if nothing more interesting and newsworthy was happening. Men & women, Jews and non Jews all over the world sometimes get cold feet and pull out the wedding at the last minute so whats the big deal about a haredi also getting cold feet, he might be religious but he is still human.

If you are in "His Kingdom" I think I'll stay on the bus until the next kingdom.

There is a story from old Jerusalem of 100 years ago, the groom of an orphaned girl bolted, and one of his friends stepped up to the plate, and they lived HEA. But that was where everybody knew everybody else, and your average joe or joette was a person of incredible depth and character.

I "suspect" that your suspicions tell us more about you than him.

Rivka: you are correct, if this was 19th century Anatevka. Its the 21st century, and love and compatability indeed matter. I echo the kol hakavods to the Groom for realizing this BEFORE the marriage, than a few years, and kids, down the road. Saves a lot of heartache for both, and give both more time to find their respective "besheirts"