Are we becoming Italian?

The good news: We're becoming more Italian. The bad news: We're becoming more Italian.

In fact, we were always a bit like the Italians and that's why we loved them more than all other Europeans. For a long time now we haven't held a grudge against the Romans.

After all, they were enlightened occupiers and handled with the appropriate proportionality both the far Right (those who barricaded themselves at the Masada settlement and refused to evacuate) and that leftist (the bleeding heart from Nazareth who preached for restraining violence and for loving everyone).

We even forgave and forgot the Christian persecution, fascism, and the collaboration with the Nazis. The anti-Semitic Italy was softened up in our perception through books, movies, and romantic music, and of course through the pastoral views that captivated us during dreamy vacations in Venice, Florence, and Rome.

Persecution, ghettos, and extermination camps were connected in our psyche mostly with Germany and Poland, while the Italians almost always stimulated positive associations of piazzas, pizzas, pasta, soccer, and high-quality leather shoes and designer clothes.

The excitable temper, direct extroversion, beautiful women, family atmosphere, and the combination of the Mediterranean and Europe, and of course the love for pots containing sauces that can be wiped off with a thick slice of bread are all characteristics that we share with the Italians, and they led us to sympathize with them and seek their company.

In the past decade we became even more like our likeable friends from Italy. We established hundreds of cafés boasting outstanding espressos and cappuccinos, set up dozens of bed-and-breakfasts, and turned the Galilee into the Middle-Eastern Tuscany.

We started grooming our hair, wearing Versace suits and ties, and even "converted" the late Oriana Fallaci, who has become the leading preacher against the conquests of Islam.

Yet recently it appears we may have gone too far with our Italian solidarity, and perhaps it's time to stop.

It turns out that now our children are also refusing to leave the home when they grow up (luckily we have mandatory military service.) Just like in Italian families, they live in a harmonic symbiosis with their parents till old age.

What's wrong with that? Mom and dad do the laundry, clean the house, and make sure the kids have a car and money in their wallet. We can even make room for the boyfriend or girlfriend. This is because in the Israeli family, just like in its Italian counterpart, the children are princes and kings who are served with submission and dedication.

Gaydamak our next prime minister?

Our solidarity with the Italians is so deep that in Israel too we recently decided to clarify and institutionalize the distinction between the "wild south" – a traditional backward region where life is dangerous, and the tranquil, prospering, and international "north" (northern Tel Aviv.)

So is there any wonder that we see corruption in sports, politics and the economy, a helpless police, nepotism, and violent mobsters living the good life under the protection of the law? It's not us - it's them, those nice Italians, who affected us.

On the other hand, this isn't about imitation perhaps. Maybe this is the unavoidable price we too must pay for living in a country boasting a prosperous economy, good food, designer stores packed with fashionable merchandise, comfortable climate, and beautiful, creative, and warm people who obsessively deal with love and intimate relations. Perhaps those are indeed two sides of the same coin shared by us and the Italians.

If this sociological assumption is correct, I have bad news and good news for you. The bad news is that multimillionaire Arcadi Gaydamak is about to become prime minister. After all, he follows the same operating instructions former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi did, that multimillionaire, media mogul, and focus of endless corruption-related police investigations.

The "operating instructions" are as follows: Acquire a soccer empire, interview all the time, control the media, attack your critics and show contempt to them, radiate self confidence, adopt a conservative worldview, mingle with celebrities, employ senior police officers and managers, and generously donate to the masses.

The good news is that we're about to become the world champions of soccer. Well, maybe not in the next championship.