The secret is to compliment her
Photo: Jupiter

Guide to the sexist groom

Extremely sexist brochures handed out to future grooms as part of Religious Council's course on marriage infuriate many

An instructional brochure handed out to grooms-to-be by the Jerusalem Religious Council has infuriated many men, who found it to be extremely chauvinistic.


The brochure was distributed to future grooms, both religious and secular, as part of a compulsory class on marriage given at the council's offices.


While it seems that the brochure aims to encourage husbands to respect their wives and help them with the household chores, some of the recommendations included are rather questionable.


"Don't let a day go by without complimenting your wife at least five times… say it even if it's a lie. A woman who hasn't been complimented is like a fish out of the water," the brochure reads.


The writers also recommend that the couple stays away from the women's parents, because "mother-in-laws tend to meddle in a couple's affairs and can ruin the relationship."


'Don't give in to your wife'  

In another section, the leaflet argues that "the woman is like clay. The husband can shape and mold her as he pleases, because it's in her nature to help the husband. All that's needed is a kind word."


But it later warns: The husband must not become "spineless": "If she's disrespectful you must not give in. You can get angry and stop talking to her until she realizes she was wrong."


Nevertheless, the writers stress that a husband must buy his wife presents and flowers, and never criticize her cooking. "The woman is not your servant and must not be made to feel she is."


One shocked groom said, "I couldn't believe that such messages can still get published in this day and age. The State should make sure that the instructions given on its behalf are modern and appropriate for all streams."


MK Uri Orbach (Habayit Hayehudi), who received several complaints on the matter, said Wednesday: "The gap between the good intentions and the style of the brochure is so deep that it makes you want to cry.


"The people who distribute this brochure fail to understand that not everything that might be suitable for distribution in Mea Shearim can be handed out to any groom who wants a Jewish wedding. I intend to ask the Jerusalem religious Council to revise the brochure in accordance with the true spirit of Judaism," he concluded.


פרסום ראשון: 05.21.09, 23:07
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