Study shows older women still interested

Despite the premise that sexuality determines the quality of a relationship, it turns out that there is little research on what happens to sexual activity in a relationship while the woman is going through the change of life.

Dr. Gurit Birnboim, the head of Bar Ilan University’s Psychology Department’s Research Unit and Dr. Ehud Cohen, an endocrinologist at Sheba Tel Hashomer Medical Center, decided to change that by launching a study of sexuality in women during and after her years of fertility.

And now that the results are in, Birnboim and Cohen, who are also married, say the myth that menopause ends a woman’s sexuality couldn’t be farther from the truth.

“We discovered that what influenced women’s attitudes towards sex in most cases, more than age or declining hormonal levels, was if they began a new relationship with a new man - in those situations the women in the 50s blossom and awaken sexually like women half their age," she says.

Non-penetrative sex

Other research in the subject indicates that women continue to have and enjoy sex even in their elderly years as long as their health permits it.

Some women report less penetrative sex and more sexual activity without penetration.

The physical changes brought on by menopause also bring on psychological changes. It is a time of mourning the end of the fertility period, and can often be coupled with losses, such as the death of parents or a partner.

In addition, during this time women are faced with issues of self-esteem as attractive, sexual women in light of their changing and aging bodies, as well as their identities as mothers after the children have left home. These factors, together with the increased incidence of illness, are likely to cause problems of adjustment. There are many life changes.

Many couples also find that, after the children have left home, they do not communicate well. In some cases, the new-found independence increases a woman’s search for meaning and can threaten the husband, occasionally leading to power struggles, separation, and even divorce.

Previous research

Most of the research that has been done up to now evaluated the behavioral and psychological aspects of a woman’s sexuality. Following the lack of empirical studies, the two doctors decided to study female sexuality during menopause. The study’s uniqueness is its effort to present a total picture of the individual’s sexual feelings and experience during this time.

The two doctors stressed the desire of their subjects, inviting their thoughts and feelings regarding having sex. Another issue evaluated in the research project is the couple’s relationship and how the menopause has affected or changed the sexual dynamic.

The current study examined how much emotion and other experiences impact menopausal women, and how her sexuality affects the quality of the relationship with her partner.

Some 389 women between the ages of 24 and 62 years of age participated. The length of relationship went from two months to 42 years. They were all secular, in reasonably good health and sexually active with regular partners.

The women answered questionnaires about their sex lives: the frequency of sexual relations, difficulties of reaching orgasm, intimacy issues: foreplay, emotional investment and physical afterwards and post coital satisfaction.

Answers varied greatly. “We found that the older the woman, the less interest she has in sex and passion,” says Birnboim. “People want and engage in less sex. The passion and excitement tend to dissipate.”

Birnboim: “Then we asked to find out why couples in long term relationships experience a loss of interest in sex. We found that most vulnerable in the relationship, more than the passion is the intimacy and the investment in the sexual side. Couples invest less the longer they are together.

“For women, the courting and expressing of feelings is especially important. The older she gets, the less she experiences romance and flirting. Thus, the emotional attentions of a partner are even more crucial. For women, it becomes more important that the partner listens to her. An attentive partner in bed is an indication of a good partner all around. If he invests in the lovemaking then he will also invest outside the bedroom and be a sensitive and listening partner.”

Birnboim concludes that people need to try and avoid taking one another for granted but to be more attentive to what he or she wants.

"Beyond the elements of surprise and excitement, we are talking about the emotional needs that need to be addressed and that doesn’t start in the bedroom,” she says. "For most women, the bedroom is a mirror of the general relationship and vice versa.”