Discrimination?
Photo: GPO
Who’s a victim?
Discrimination is what others do to you; victimhood is what you do to yourself. Follow-up to previous column
Unbelievable. The second you let the genie out of the bottle, matters get completely out of hand and seem to take on a life of their own.
That doesn’t mean that it’s always easy. I mean, there have been substantial improvements in this regard, but, nevertheless, certain aspects of the past have a nasty habit of repeating themselves in the present.
In my previous column I released a bit of steam about a glaring hole in both my own and our national educations with respect to the history of Jewish communities in the Muslim countries. While I was at it, I unleashed the sectarian demon – as I picture it.
Note that I wasn’t moaning about discrimination, nor was I issuing an impassioned indictment of the way the Ashkenazim controlled our lives. Luckily for me, the sixties and the seventies didn’t really affect me, and even though some of my friends continue to complain about those days, I prefer to focus on the positive.
Previous Column
Yaniv Halily
Why didn’t I know about the Crypto-Jews of Mashhad who had to choose between conversion to Islam and death? Because of the Ashkenazi bleeding hearts, that’s why
For example, several very recent studies have indicated that when it comes to higher education, significant gaps remain between Mizrachim (“Oriental” Jews) and Ashkenazim. The facts speak for themselves. More Ashkenazim obtain advanced degrees and are therefore able to create better lives for themselves with fewer financial constraints.
Obviously, this discrepancy didn’t come from nowhere. Now, I’m not saying that it’s a question of premeditated institutionalized discrimination. However, a brief tour of Israel’s southern development towns shows that these areas are mainly populated by Mizrachim and Russians. (The latter group was forced to settle in the boondocks, because like all new immigrants, they too must start out at the bottom rung.)
Until my stint in the army, I didn’t realize that where you come from can influence your future standard of living. I served in a military melting pot comprised of representatives of every sector: Northern Ashkenazim vs. southern Mizrachim; new immigrants vs. the so-called “salt of the earth”; and progeny of well-established families vs. residents of poverty-stricken neighborhoods.
The denominational mapping produced few surprises. In most cases, the balance between the rich, educated Ashkenazim and the poor, lower class Mizrachim was maintained.
It's all about you
There are those that believe that your life is what you make of it. In other words, if you decide to become a doctor, you can do what you need to in order to make your dream come true. Neither your hometown nor your illiterate parents can keep you from achieving your goals.
Meanwhile, others claim that one’s choices are predetermined by one’s environment. Not only will a person born into adversity grow up adversely, but the second generation will prove equally unable to break out of the cycle.
According to this second school of thought, teenagers base their self-images on the sounds and sights of their childhoods. Thus, in many cases, children choose to stay in the development towns where they were raised, despite the lack of local opportunities.
As always, the truth lies somewhere in the middle. A person should not allow the state to mold his or her destiny. Instead, people must take charge of their own lives and assume responsibility for the choices they make.
Just as a man selects whom to marry, which apartment to live in, and how many children to have, so too can he shape his social, professional, and economic standing by striving towards a specific objective. Ex-pat Israelis living in the United States prove that talented, ambitious, and goal-oriented individuals can go far, even when starting from zero.
Nonetheless, one’s childhood plays an important role. You don’t have to be a psychologist to understand that a person’s early experiences accompany him throughout his life.
Integration
I’m personally acquainted with successful businessmen, who in their fifties, were still dealing with issues such as pushy mothers, unfaithful fathers, and unsupportive families. Children who are led to believe that their futures are doomed and hopeless require more than just emotional strengths to overcome the hurdles they face. And only limited resources, at best, will be provided to them.
But it gets even more complicated. Even when a person decides that he wants more, he has to open a map and plot his way out.
I know a guy who used to be a teenager from south Tel Aviv. He truly believed that he was capable of rising above the mediocrity that surrounded him. Yet in order to advance and develop, he was forced to go elsewhere.
A boarding school for gifted students? In Jerusalem. A science club? In north Tel Aviv. Movies and theater? Not in our neighborhood. Conventional wisdom used to hold that kids with potential should be rescued from their downtrodden neighborhoods and sent to locations with abundant resources.
That’s why integration, with all its hype, worked in only one direction: From south to north. Only in the last few years have education officials realized their mistake. Resources and quality options must be equally divided. If only five percent of students are encouraged to succeed, what will happen to the remaining ninety-five percent who never stood a chance?
Dangerous thought
Last week, in the wake of my previous column, I received a number of emails from people who identified with the topic of discrimination. Although their stories differ, a common thread runs through all the letters. Each writer seems to believe that he or she is a victim and refuses to let go of the past.
Many of my peers still think of themselves as victims. In spite of their flourishing bank accounts, fulfilling careers, and comfortable lifestyles, these people continue to speak of discrimination. And, in my opinion, there is nothing more dangerous than that.
When you see yourself as a victim, you’re always going to feel that you’re worse off than everyone else, and you’ll never appreciate how far you’ve actually come. Victims have a tendency to wallow in self-pity, because it provides a convenient means of excusing any failure and allows one to write-off any success as a momentary aberration.
However, victimhood inevitably seeps into one’s soul, and a self-perceived victim remains irretrievably stuck in the past and unable to advance past his life’s starting point. As a result, that individual transforms from society’s victim into a self-inflicted one.
Yaniv Halily is Yedioth Ahronoth’s New York correspondent.
