Gay parade doesn't bother God

Today I was studying Torah with my study partner, who is a God-fearing scholar, and at some point the issue of the coming Gay Pride Parade in Jerusalem came up. He vehemently claimed that gays and lesbians should be condemned.

I retorted that the use of the word "condemn" in its biblical connotations is very problematic. "Do you honestly think gays should be killed?" I asked. "Why, they should be stoned," he answered quickly.

We continued to argue, and I discovered that in his opinion, gays are worse than Shabbat desecrators and should be ostracized. He came very close to saying that according to the Bible, they should even be beaten and stoned to death.

Then I asked why was this violation – which is done in private, worse than Shabbat desecration, which is a public act. But he remained unconvinced.

It should be noted that, although he failed to provide an explanation, he is not a stupid man. This is a wise student who knows the Holy Scriptures inside out, a true God-fearing person. I've known him for many years and was deeply offended by his words. "Where is the love of Israel? Where is the path of Rabbi Kook?" I asked. And he replied: "With all due respect for the love of Israel, there are situations in which it's a mitzvah to distance or hate people, as in the case of an apostate for spite."

I was appalled by the comparison and explained to him that despite the pride parades, not all those who are not heterosexual feel at ease with their sexual orientation and many of them would have been happy to have the opportunity to change it.

I also explained that those who take part in the rallies do not do so in order to spite God, but in order to show the world they exist, in response to the ongoing oppression they have to endure and the derogatory terms and slurs used against them.

For the first time he hesitated a little, but still didn't budge. I told him I would be glad to see the textual sources from which he drew such hatred, and also raised the possibility that his natural aversion and disgust at the mere thought of two men together is the real reason for his views, rather than Jewish values.

In response he almost admitted that this may have affected his worldview in the matter, and at the end of the discussion I felt that perhaps he was no longer 100% sure of his previous statements.

This incident has shown me what a bad state we're in, how far homophobia has reached, and how deeply-seated it is – so much that even wise students and God fearing people who study the Torah day and night are not immune to it.

This also made me realize how important it is for gays and lesbians to expose themselves to other people and talk to them, although this is a highly difficult thing to do (and I still haven’t; done so myself). It's important for people to realize that "those gays" are in fact "us": The Torah study partner, the student sitting next to you in class and the next door neighbor.

Only by coming out to others will people stop believing in the stigmas of pride parades and gays' alleged desire to spite, forget about ostracizing, alienating or condemning them and finally realize that these are real people. Real souls. Just like them. Just like us.

The writer is the editor of the Chevruta website for religious gays