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    Men, beware the evil of women
    The femme fatale, the "crazy one," and the "good girl." Which one is the most dangerous?

    “Women are evil creations” - the most common sentence about the female sex. Perhaps you know it in its more elegant and sophisticated versions, such as, “Woman is the devil in disguise,” or “All women are whores.” Even the late Bob Marley said “No woman no cry.” With his funny Jamaican accent the meaning is “No, woman, don’t cry,” but to me the meaning sounds more like “No woman, no crying,” or in other words: “What a bitch!”

     

    There is a primeval and ancient fear of women, a fear that has many references in human history, such as the association of dark forces with women that led to massive witch hunts, the most famous of which took place in Salem, Massachusetts. The immediate connection between the female sex and pure wickedness is a routine matter. In practice, it is the most common axiom for the female sex, which usually is said with complete conviction by betrayed, married and happy men alike.

     

    I want to share with you a small poll I performed among acquaintances - and the frightening results.

     

    The scientist: “They’re hormonal and unpredictable.”

     

    The closet homosexual: “Only a girl can get revenge on someone by seducing his best friend.”

     

    The engineer: “Their intelligence works in a non-linear fashion.”

     

    The gorilla: “We never understand what they want.”

     

    The joker: “How can we count on a creature that bleeds once a month for an entire week and doesn’t die?”

     

    The above respondents were also asked how they determine in advance who is evil. The unanimous answer was that all of us are scary, especially up close, and the only thing that can be done is to try to understand the nature of the evil, when it’s still reversible.

     

     

     

    Types of feminine wickedness

     

    The femme fatale: After her you need retirement and psychiatric medication. And, yes, she’s the one who slept with your best friend.

     

    The femme fatale is the woman of your dreams – at least it seems that way. She worships you and performs all the old and good tricks. Using her foot, she plays with you from under the table, pleasures you orally while you’re talking on the phone, and gives you so much sex the rest of the time you feel like king of the world. Her power lays in her sexuality, not to mention that she has vaginal muscles that can open a champagne bottle. She lacks thought, not because she doesn’t have it, but because she doesn’t need it.

     

    The crazy one: Here anything can happen, but at least you know it ahead of time.

     

    As I’ve said, she’s crazy. She’s capable of anything – a jealousy scene next to your mother, hiring someone to follow you or copying your key without your knowledge. If you’re in love with such a girl, batten down the hatches because you can be certain she’ll put your sanity to the test every day anew, until you’re begging for just a little boredom. You want to break up with her? I don’t want to even think about the consequences.

     

    The good girl: She’s the absolute worst. In the beginning, she’s a naive lamb, but after six months you discover she controls your life and choice of friends, has gained 25 pounds and you’re married to her.

     

    It’s no secret that the easy trick “reverse psychology” has worked wonderfully on men since the beginning of time. Therefore, when we see a little nature girl innocent of makeup who doesn’t cut her hair or pluck her eyebrows, wearing a flannel shirt, who lives with her parents and whose room is full of teddy bears of all colors, it seems to us that this is a kind of animal from the wild, a reverse version of “Taming of the Shrew.”

     

    So what do men do?

     

    Find a “princess.” She’s the best of a bad lot. Every man comes to understand this at some point. If you support her financially and maintain an esthetic appearance, she will hold back most of her evil nature. Jewish princesses are practical, and their evil has a certain logic. When she won’t sleep with you for two weeks, it was bound to happen at some point. Then she won’t speak for two days. But show me one man who would suffer from this.

     

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    Photo: Reuven Schwartz
    Are women in fact evil?
    Photo: Reuven Schwartz
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