Ladies, just keep quiet
All relationships that end, end because we talked them to death. We’re guilty, because if we would just leave them alone, not even one single thought would sneak into their horny little minds for the next five years
Let’s just say that on the drive home from the movie I was a little emotional. It seemed to me that his hand could have touched my leg a few more times during the film. I counted.
You didn’t speak with me all the way home.
“And that’s how long? Five minutes including parking?”
What’s on your mind?
“Nothing, sweetheart.”
Tell the truth. You’re still thinking about her.
“About who?”
You were with her for two years and ask who? Don’t you have a heart?
“What’s going on with you?”
Nothing. Just take me home.
When he says he's not thinking, he's telling truth
Prior to this exchange his intentions were to climb into bed for ravenous sex with me, which would have been great, but now he’s at home, masturbating alone, and worst of all, he’s thinking. Before I opened my mouth, he was just living, without any particular purpose. No thinking or knowledge of anything special. Now, thanks to me, he’s thinking about his ex. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the beginning of escalation.
And who’s to blame?
Me.
I don’t want to overstate the situation, but I’ll take the risk and say it anyway: All relationships that end, end because we talked them to death. We’re guilty, because if we would just leave them alone, not even one single thought would sneak into their horny little minds for the next five years. Ladies, the big obstacle in relations between the sexes has been solved.
Great inner struggles for the typical male surround such pressing issues as, “What are we eating this evening,” because to ponder emotions would cause him to feel disturbed and feminine, for better and for worse.
While he would never think of bothering you at work over a bad dream he had last night, he also won’t consider that maybe he doesn’t feel enough for you, or God forbid, that he doesn’t want to see you today - that is, of course, until you bring up the option.
When he says he isn’t thinking about anything, it’s the truth. Sure, we change our agenda every few hours, in an extreme manner, and are intensely aware of our feelings at any given second. And unlike women, who can flirt with several extreme thoughts for years and not act on them, they don’t even consider such issues.
'Please, just don't think'
They truly don’t think about anything, and this should make us happy, because when they think, only bad things happen, things like conclusions and decisions. Now, what kind of conclusions is someone with an empty mind supposed to reach? To conclusions planted inside him from outside.
And who’s to blame?
Me.
All my life I’ve heard men plead for their very soul in every imaginable language: “Please!! Just don’t speak.” Yet I continue to think I know what’s good for them, when what I really need to do is accept this in its utter simplicity. It’s not complicated. When he says he’s not thinking about anything, it’s a true statement. His brain is empty, and that’s excellent, because an empty brain equals a happy man. No intelligence, no worries.
Unless something external happens to him - like being laid off, an ex wanting him back, an age crisis, or most commonly, I open my mouth, make a mess, slam doors and dump information on him shaking the very foundations of his world - he’s truly not thinking about anything. Breakups are the direct result of conversations about relations.
After all is said and done, why should a man disturb himself and put aside from his mind the important things in life, like work, football, my ass, etc….
It’s completely extraneous to speak if you have broadcast but no reception. In any case, even if he doesn’t understand what I want, he’ll continue to look at me with that idiotic listening expression (which, interestingly enough, resembles the face of someone in love, but less smiley) and nod in agreement. Isn’t a pity to come to this?
In any case, when all he hears is “blah blah blah,” and he says “You’re right,” it’s only because he suddenly understands he has just four hours left to sleep before getting up for work.
