Chagai Gross
The purpose of prayer
Yes, it’s very difficult to pour out our hearts using a prepared – and somewhat limiting – text. But that’s precisely the challenge
I could begin my response to Efrat Shapira Rosenberg’s article, “When You Say Hear O Israel, What Do You Really Mean?” in one of two different ways. One choice would be to recount some of those miraculous stories about people who swear that prayer saved their lives.
Alternatively, I could quote from the Sefer HaChinuch, “The hearts are drawn after the actions.” In other words, there’s value in performing a deed, even if we’re not sure what benefit – if any – is accrued.
But, instead, I’m going to tell the truth. Efrat, you’re right. It’s happened to all of us, at least once. We’re standing there, perplexed, with the prayer book in our hands and we wonder: Does saying these words really help? Do these prayers that we’re uttering actually reach the Heavens?
Nevertheless, I manage to get up three times a day - even in the frigid cold or the sweltering heat. Even when it’s not exactly convenient or when my schedule is packed, prayer is valuable in and of itself.
We all oscillate between transcendence and despair. Prayer works the same way. One can’t compare the Neilah prayer at the end of Yom Kippur – when the entire congregation shouts dramatically in unison, “The Lord, only He is G-d” – to a routine morning service, mumbled almost by rote, on a cold and rainy winter day.
As far as I’m concerned, I find that my best moments are those that aren’t included in the prayer book’s established liturgy. My favorite prayers have occurred during quiet moments of grace, while standing in my yard watching my children playing in the park, with an awe-inspiring view of the fields in the background.
It’s at moments like these – when I’m filled with happiness and all seems right with the world – that I find myself addressing the Master of the World with simple yet heartfelt gratitude. Thank You for everything you have given me.
Negotiation or conversation
We need to ask ourselves: What is it that we want from our prayers? Are we merely haggling with G-d, as if in the marketplace? Or is prayer an opportunity for us to speak to Him and to share our troubles, our jubilations, our successes and our failures with Him?
Obviously, I prefer the latter option. This outlook may not be any easier, but it makes a whole lot more sense. Furthermore, with this second approach, there’s no need to constantly check for results.
Yes, it’s very difficult to pour out my heart using a prepared – and somewhat limiting – text. But that’s precisely the challenge. How do we take the same words that millions of believers recite every day and turn them into something intensely personal?
We all need a structured framework. Otherwise, we’d just fly off into the wind in random directions. Our thoughts, in particular, are apt to wander. Without the prayer book, we’d soon arrive in places that aren’t fit for our daily encounter with our Creator.
All the prayers and blessings aren’t easy for me either. In fact, in a rare moment of honesty, I confess that, now and then, I’ve skipped some passages.
But I appreciate the framework’s worth, and, at the end of the day, I realize how incredibly appropriate our prayers are - for every person, in every place, on every day. As our Sages noted, when the Men of the Great Assembly composed the prayers, the Holy Spirit rested upon them.
The bottom line is – and I say this with my hand over my heart – I also occasionally have trouble praying, but at the same time, there’s no way that I could function without it.
Chagai Gross is the general manager of the Tzohar Organization
