Sounds great over the phone
The thought of dying a bachelor has crossed my mind, but dying a bachelor at my parents' house is something I don’t even wish my ex-girlfriends. In the past few months I have learned that there is an incredible resemblance between looking for a partner and looking for a place to live with her
And I am not linking between the two for no reason. In the past few months I have learned that there is an incredible resemblance between looking for a partner and looking for a place to live with her.
So for a change, instead of meeting girls, I started meeting flat owners in an effort to charm them, only in order to eventually enter their bedroom.
At 7 p.m. I sit and wait for the flat owner at the foot of the building, excited and nervous. It sounded great over the phone, good looking (was renovated a year ago), one which would not make you ashamed to bring friends, with air conditioning and in an excellent location.
There is a long line for a good apartment, and your chances are not that good if you make a bad first impression, if you're unemployed or if you haven't decided what you’re looking for. So I got dressed up, I recruited all of my personal charm and hoped for the best.
Better be an accountant or a doctor
There are those who say that at a first date you should be yourself. Bullshit. At your first date with a flat owner you should be an accountant or a doctor, aged 25 to 35, and you should smile and say that you did not see many apartments before this one, as flat owners have a sixth sense aimed at identifying those who don’t really want to sign the contract on the spot.
The flat owner arrived after a fashionable delay of about 10 minutes.
"Hello," she extended her hand.
"Good evening," I said in an authoritative but delicate voice.
"Shall we go up?" she smiled, embarrassed.
"After you," I replied politely.
The first thing I sense in this apartment is the feeling it gives me, if it manages to wrap itself around me and embrace me from all directions, and if it makes me want to enter.
After approving the basic things, like its appearance and the general maintenance, the moment of truth arrived in which I descend from the stage of fantasies to reality, and can only hope that it will not be a forced landing.
What doesn’t she want me to know?
After a short and polite talk with the flat owner, I start looking for the concealed shortcomings. What doesn’t she want me to know? If I'm not the first one, and in today's situation I'm probably not, why didn’t anyone want it until now?
Perhaps it suffers from dampness?
, but will be uncovered big time after a month or two, when I'll already be deep inside?
We continued talking, we laughed upon discovering that we have common acquaintances, she showed me the room she grew up in, I explained a bit about my work. To make a long story short, it all went as it should have. And then the moment arrived when the ultimate question had to be raised: "So why did the previous tenant decide to leave?"
She hesitated for a moment and said, "He got married and they decided this apartment was too small for them, so they moved to Modiin."
"Are you still in touch with him?"
"No, no, not at all, but I know he really likes it there." She changed the subject, "Is this apartment for you?"
"Yes, I'm single."
"A successful guy like you, how can it be? Listen, the last two tenants who were here got married, so perhaps you'll get lucky too, who knows?"
"I wish, I'm looking for a serious relationship."
"Then perhaps I should introduce you to my niece, she's a sweet girl!"
"I'm going out with someone at the moment, but thanks anyway," I lied. The last thing I wanted was to be thrown out of the apartment in two months for breaking up with the flat owner's ugly niece.
"Okay, thank you," I said. "I saw, I'll think about it and will get back to you in the evening."
"Just take into account that in today's market the apartment might not be available by then."
I continued to deliberate till the evening hours. This is probably the time to mention that there are two kinds of searchers in the world: Those of all-or-nothing, who will not make a decision until they find exactly what they want; and those who take what they get, assuming they could move to another apartment after a couple of years.
In the evening I called the flat owner. "Hi, it's Roy. Look, the apartment is very nice, but I don’t know, I'm not sure about it. It's not something in the apartment, it's me. I'm just looking for something else."
I was disappointed. I probably belong to the first type.
I continued looking and eventually found it. It's not perfect, but I can live with it, and we are still together as we speak. Now I understand that there are two main reasons why I found an apartment but am still alone:
1. You can't change a person, but you can definitely change a flat.
2. If I had to make my up my mind about a woman in one hour, I would be married by now.
- Dedicated to all those searchers out there
