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Stupid big brother

New law will enable police to create monstrous database, but won’t make it any smarter

Bravo. The “Big Brother” law has been recently legislated in the Israeli Knesset. Any online flatulence by anyone will be recorded, documented, numbered, filed, and added to the giant database, which will be available to the Israel Police.

 

From now on, Big Brother will be able to find out whatever it wishes to find out. It will be able to know almost anything that can be known.

 

However, sadly, despite all this immense knowledge, it will remain just the same old brother. That is, not really big; in fact, quite stupid, and also a bit awkward too. And also a schlimazel. And a loser. Regrettably, all of those characteristics cannot be fixed with the help of databases.

 

Even all that signal intelligence, or Signit (a word that is already rolling on the tongues of police chiefs here with great lust) will not be making our Big Brother more successful. This is because a brother that finds it difficult to catch a thief that was photographed by four security cameras at the bank and does not even bother to pursue criminals who break into apartments and rob minors, as well as thugs at clubs and on the streets, not to mention even larger-scale criminals – such brother would not be able to do it even when it has access to all the phone calls, IP addresses, text messages, cellular phone numbers, e-mail correspondence, and mail-carrying pigeons of all the citizens of the world.

 

Israel police needs worthier manpower, not databases

Therefore, we may characterize the situation as follows: Up until now, we had an idiotic brother without a database, yet from now on we shall have an idiotic brother with a database.

 

What the Israel Police needs in order to become a worthy police is not inflated databases, but rather, it needs worthy manpower, and worthy salaries. And a worthy minister. This is what it needs. Not an outrageous and scandalous license to eavesdrop on anyone who burps.

 

At the same time, we must admit that there would be all sorts of elements that would nonetheless gain much pleasure and benefit from the new database: The community of private detectives, people who trade in mailing lists, companies who bother us on the phone and through the Internet, and all sorts of other pests who make a living by profiteering and trading in information.

 

After all, it will not take long before this monstrous database will also be breached, stolen, decoded, and turned into merchandize that would be sold to anyone willing to pay for it. This is the way it has always been with databases.

 

Yet our Big Brother, by the way, would not be able to apprehend the people who will breach and steal its own databases, of course. After all, since when does Big Brother know how to nab burglars and thieves?

 


פרסום ראשון: 12.25.07, 00:03
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