Yoram Kaniuk
צילום: מיכאל קרמר
End of democracy
Winograd committee’s desire to outlaw mistakes would lead to inaction, paralysis
It’s a waste to maintain a government with dozens of ministers and deputy ministers who cost a fortune. We should appoint the Winograd Commission as our government as well. Otherwise, who will punish Ariel Sharon for the first Lebanon War and Ben-Gurion for the War of Independence and the Sinai War?
The Winograd Commission’s status would be like the status of a king in the days we had kings, and it will manage the state. If there is still a state then. The commission will identify the mistakes that have not yet been made. It will prevent wars because it will know in advance that in a war, any war, some people die in vain.
The Defense Ministry will no longer be necessary, because all proposals would be presented to the commission, so those who came up with them would not be slammed by the commission later. The commission will decide that ground operations are unnecessary, so we will no longer have ground operations.
Winograd is more important than Moses, because Moses made many mistakes, but the Winograd Commission would be free of mistakes. There will be no mistakes, because Winograd would not allow them. The commission itself would decide what not to do, because it would know in advance what is about to happen – and therefore it will make sure it won’t happen.
World of zero mistakes
There will be no wars. There will be no negotiations. Education will not be neglected. There will be no education, because those who do nothing make no mistakes. Teachers won’t educate and professors won’t teach, and soldiers will only exercise and be unfamiliar with war, and we shall all live in a world of zero mistakes.These days, the government is on trial and so is the Knesset. It voted for wars in the past, in Lebanon too, even if it wasn’t the same Knesset. We will see an end to action, because every action can also be a mistake. Doctors will not perform surgeries, because they would not be allowed to make any mistakes. People will die quietly and happily because their doctors won’t make any mistakes.
When the Winograd Commission will be in power, there will be no ministers, and Ehud Olmert will be an attorney. Barak will become a military strategy expert in the service of foreign armies that will still continue to fight. Tzipi Livni will set up a Museum for underground groups. There will be no opposition, because there will be nothing to oppose.
If we are attacked, we would always be able to swim. Those who wish for us to drown, and there are quite a few people like that, will be happy. The world would cheer for us, because we will no longer be robbing anyone or causing any damages. We will no longer hurt anyone. Everyone would love us because we shall be nice to their mother. The word “mistake” will disappear from the language, and we shall have peace prevail in Israel.
