Stop acting like clowns
Assaf Wohl says he’s upset that most ridiculous proposals are always submitted by religious MKs
Last Friday, we were informed that Knesset Member Nissim Zeev (from Shas, of course) seriously proposed to replace the light railway with camels and donkeys. I must confess that as an obsessive Judaism consumer, I was overcome by frustration when I read this.
Why must the most ridiculous ventures and most delusional farces always be led by religious Knesset members? Why do the people who appointed themselves as God’s representatives insist on making fools of themselves in the media?
It is true that clowns and other crazy people can be found in other factions as well. The Pensioners’ Party, for example, is also a serious contender for the title of most peculiar party. Yet still, we cannot ignore the too-high concentrations of borderline personalities among the ranks of religious parties.
Of course, I do not expect religious representatives to only deal with issues of religion, which they are supposed to master. And indeed, beyond “the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing,” which MK Zeev rephrased directly out of the New Testament (Matthew, 6:3) I could find no connection between religion and the donkey venture. Somehow, those Knesset members, which have been elected because of their pretense to represent God in parliament, are always revealed to be particularly terrible representatives when it comes to any Jewish issue.
Superb collaborators
Another factor in these farces is the media. The media greatly enjoy highlighting statements that present Judaism in a negative light. On this front, the abovementioned Knesset members are superb collaborators when it comes to presenting Judaism in a ridiculous manner. Moreover, the media will usually not cover sane characters such as Prof. Menachem Ben-Sasson (I doubt whether any reader knows what party he belongs to.) After all, religious sanity does not make for good headlines.
Therefore, I propose that we modify the pledge of allegiance uttered by religious Knesset members. The usual pledge will be complemented by the following paragraph: “In addition, I hereby pledge to uphold the honor and image of Judaism. Accordingly, I will not submit idiotic ideas and infantile bills that only serve to disgrace God’s name and present His believers as primitive. I will not aim to introduce donkey and
camel lanes at urban centers and I will not propose to light up Israel’s cities with fireflies. In addition, I hereby pledge to conduct myself like a civilized and enlightened individual aware of the fact that he lives in a democratic country in the 21st Century.”
As to Nissim Zeev’s venture, I have no idea how this proposal will be implemented in practice. Indeed, in all matters pertaining to donkeys supply greatly outweighs demand, yet it would be difficult to convince Shas’ ministers to replace their Volvos by camels. In any case, one thing will apparently not be changing. Both the media and many religious Knesset members will continue to stick to the position that there is only one way to be Jewish – the ridiculous way.
