Bereaved families: Mothers shouldn't decide on sons' enlistment
Following Asaf Ramon's death, Ynet receives letter in which Yad Labanim organization calls for cancellation of mandatory parent signature for enlistment of bereaved children into combat units
The Yad Labanim organization, which commemorates fallen soldiers and their families, sent a letter on Tuesday to the defense minister and chief of the Israel Defense Forces' Personnel Directorate, stating its stance on the subject. The letter was sent following the public debate about the enlistment of sons of bereaved families into combat units, which heated up once again after the death of Captain Asaf Ramon in an F-16 plane crash on Sunday,
In the letter, first published on Ynet, the organization determined that the decision regarding enlistment of combat soldiers who are from bereaved families must be authorized exclusively by the IDF, while the mandatory signature currently required by the mother of the soldier should be canceled.
The letter, signed by the Chairman of Yad Labanim organization Eli Ben-Shem and the organization's secretariat stated that "the disaster of the Ramon family only amplified the need to deal with this subject urgently."
The organization claimed families of fallen soldiers have to deal with difficult dilemmas: "We raise and educate our children based on the values and legacy of our sons, the love of the country, sacrifice and devotion."
"Therefore, when the child reaches 18 and wants to pursue his life long dream to join a combat unit and follow in the footsteps of his fallen brother or father, it is hard to tell him to put aside these values and great motivation."
Nationality does not have ownership on pain or on the right to volunteer. Bereaved families must not be forced to walk on burning coals, but also cannot be prevented from doing so.
A vote held by Yad Labanim prior to sending the letter reflected the difficult decision. Six voted in favor of removing the responsibility from the bereaved families, while two voted against it and one abstained.
The bereaved parents asked not to have the burden of decision on their shoulders, stating that "We, the families that are acting to impart the legacy of the sons to all the people of Israel and to our own children, are of the opinion that the military who is entrusted with the protection of our country and its soldiers must remove the burden of signature from us, the parents, in the matter of enlisting family members into combat units, and free us from the task of determining fates in this burdensome subject."
Yad Lebanim called the IDF to make a brave decision, saying that "officers and commanders change in the army, but we, the families, remain in the army for life, and the military for us is like a second home."
"We implore you to cancel the mandatory signature needed by parents in order to enlist sons of bereaved families for combat service. It is a subject of major importance and value, which will allow you to alleviate the daily distress of the parents, if only by a little."
'Will not forgive signing my son's death verdict'
"We have been having a long dialogue within the organization on this matter, following the appeal of many parents who are faced with this hard dilemma," Yad Labanim Chairman Eli Ben-Shem told Ynet.
"The subject is also being debated with the Defense Ministry for the past few months, and what happened to the Ramon family only magnifies the need to alleviate the burden from the parents. We educate our sons to cherish the army, and we cannot be forced to tell them they cannot serve in the same unit their fallen father or brother served."
Ben-Shem recalled his own experience: "I personally signed for my son, being that my wife passed away and I am from a single parent family. For months, I was kicking myself, thinking why did I do it? My son went to serve in Lebanon."
"Asaf's dream was to be like his father, and you cannot take that away from him. We want our kids to serve wherever they wish to, but the burden of the blame must be removed from the shoulder of the parents. If God forbid something happens, I will not be able to forgive myself for signing my own son's death verdict."
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who lost his brother Yonatan during the Operation Entebbe, commented on the subject during an interview with Army Radio: "My two brothers and I served in the same unit, a tiny unit. My parents, in my opinion, did not know where we served or the risks we took, but nobody could stop us. We would have found a way around it eventually.
Defense Minister Ehud Barak also commented on the subject during a radio interview with Israel Radio: "I don’t think there is one single answer, and I am not certain that the mother is the correct address. At the end of the day you are talking about adults, who are mature enough to make up their minds whether or not to risk their lives for the country."
Yael Levy contributed to this report
