Raanan Shaked
צילום: רונן בש
Bibi, we're already fenced in
No need to build fence, as Israel already mentally, culturally cut off from world
They say that standup comedy in Israel is flourishing, and I am not surprised: A state led by a man known for his superb sense of irony and highly developed comic timing is likely to see its entertainment industry thriving.
Indeed, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's second term in office has not yet reached his great comic performances from the first term – yet last week Bibi went back to making us all laugh as we did in the good old days, with his wonderful new show: "We need to surround the whole state with a fence."
As usual, Netanyahu bases his humor on his worst fears (that is, Eli Yishai's worst fears,) warning us that "Israel is the only First World state that can be reached by foot from the Third World…if we don't build a fence, Israel will be flooded by hundreds of thousands of illegal aliens."
Well, this is amusing first and foremost because it's about stating the obvious; Sort of like saying that "next you'll tell me that America is led by a black president." What do you mean "we'll surround the state with a fence?" What are we surrounded by at this time – a wall of fire? Alligators?
Yet with all due respect, every child knows that at this time Israel is cut off from the world as it has never been before.
The supply lines of fresh global pop music, for example, are clogged and besieged. Instead we keep on regurgitating and re-digesting foul-tasting local music that does not come into any contact with the world. Meanwhile, our theater (sorry, I meant standup comedy) is made locally for local consumption, with almost no contemporary imports.
We also consume Internet content that is all about domestic exaggerated zeal in the form of 486 talkbacks (so far,) only four of them in actual Hebrew. We are preoccupied with a perpetual domestic debate about everything (that is, about nothing) that always ends with the same bottom line: First bring Gilad Shalit back home.
We choke on the emissions of our political self-righteousness even while from the outside world, beyond the fence, we increasingly look like seven million hyperactive and sweaty people who are not too trendy and constantly seek to quarrel with everyone, and then follow up it up with the most embarrassing statements, in broken English, during routine small-talk sessions.
So we are already fenced in, Bibi, you can rest easy. We are surrounded, and we won't be coming out with our hands up – for the simple reason that we have no way to come out or nowhere to come out to.
The windows are shut, the air-conditioner is on, and in the next elections we shall eagerly run over to the polling stations in order to decide between no-hope and no-expectations. We are not going anywhere, and we going there fast.
We are safely fenced in, mentally, culturally, and politically, and no invader or refugee can infiltrate the truly important place – that is, our heart. Everything is locked up and shut down. Nonetheless, let's go ahead and build a physical fence as well, to make sure nobody tries (as some people already threatened around here before) to replace the people.
