Summer camp is over. Lieberman
Photo: Gil Yohanan
The globe’s education minister
Avigdor Lieberman apparently on mission to educate the world
After long and mysterious months as foreign minister, where we could have mistakenly thought that he finds it difficult to do anything meaningful, we finally found out what Avigdor Lieberman dedicates most of his time to: Watching Turkish television channels in search of anti-Israel content.
The aggressive approach adopted by the television critique minister, who ordered his people to respond decisively to any case of anti-Semitic messages or unconvincing dialogues on Turkish TV, is a bold step. This past week we saw the Foreign Ministry’s “price tag policy” escalating with Deputy Minister Danny Ayalon’s sofa trick. This was a wrong move that must not be repeated; we must ensure that the next meeting will feature the Turkish minister down on all fours while Israel’s deputy minister sits on his back.
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However, Foreign Ministry officials explained that they are not engaging in games of honor and ego, and that the uncompromising and stool-loving policy is a useful move meant to make it clear to rogue states that the anti-Israeli summer camp is over and that it no longer pays off to party at Israel’s expense.
According to the foreign minister’s stool doctrine, the humiliating ritual we conveyed to the Turks is supposed to convince them to treat us with respect; there is no doubt that they will now be getting rid of their new Muslim friends and rushing back into Lieberman’s and Ayalon’s lovely embrace. After all, Arabs only understand force and Muslims are used to sitting on the floor.
Reprimanding globe’s bad boys
Yet the truth is that any attempt to explain Lieberman’s moves in terms of diplomacy and foreign relations is doomed for failure. After all, he does not view himself as a foreign minister, but rather, as an education minister; the globe’s education minister.
He believes that he arrived here in order to reprimand the globe’s bad boys, teach the uncivilized some manners, punish the uneducated, and reinstate Israel’s parental authority. In the past year he has inspired Israel to behave like an international kindergarten teacher who is eager to wash the world’s dirty mouth with soap. It is no coincidence that Lieberman chose Danny Ayalon, who looks like Supernanny in a suit, as his deputy.
The Foreign Ministry aspires to “put the world in its place,” yet it appears that we are the ones who are currently unaware of our actual place in the world. The contemporary Israel is a confused baby who tries to pretend to be a responsible adult; a disruptive child who arrives in kindergarten and decides that he is the teacher. Perhaps it would be worthwhile for someone to provide the foreign minister with some Ritalin.
