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Bereaved parent on Memorial Day (archives)
Photo: Neri Brenner

Between cemeteries and stages

Op-ed: State must consider separating Memorial Day and Independence Day; move won't threaten Israeli ethos

R's son was killed during the Yom Kippur War. He was just over 18 years old; "not long after he completed basic training and was sent to the (Suez) Canal," she told me this week. A's son was also killed in the same war. He was a reservist in the Armored Corps who joined his unit on Shabbat, "before he was even called up." G's father was killed in the first Lebanon War; so was B's son. A and R, whose mothers I know very well, were killed in the Second Lebanon War.

 

All these people, the fathers and mothers, as well as several others, have been calling me over the past few days following a previous column in which I said that the grief of Memorial Day should be separated from the celebrations of Independence Day. "Don't let up," said the father of B, who was killed when his convoy drove over on a mine in the security zone in south Lebanon. "We haven't celebrated Independence Day in our house for 18 years." The mother of R, who was killed during the Yom Kippur War, said: "My grandchildren knew from a very young age that Independence Day celebrations are not for our family."

 

On the radio the other night a woman spoke of her uncle, her father's brother, who was killed in Kiryat Ye'arim during the War of Independence. She said she grew up into this bereavement, a third generation of mourners, and spoke of how difficult things were at home. The hardest day, she said, was Independence Day, which begins on Memorial Day. On this day, when bereaved families are at the cemeteries, municipal workers begin to set up the stages for the Independence Day festivities.

 

The days must be separated, the woman said on the radio. I can't understand why they don't do it, she said. As though we need this sorrow on the day before Independence Day to be reminded that the State of Israel's independence was, and still is, bought with blood and the price, to those who paid it, it too heavy.

 

Some bereaved families make good arguments against separating the days. For example, the mother of a soldier who was killed during the Second Lebanon War wants the joy of Independence Day to be accompanied with the sorrow of loss. "Even if Independence will be celebrated six months after Memorial Day, I still won't go to see Eyal Golan perform," she told me.

 

And yet, it is not the justified arguments of the bereaved families which should guide the decision makers, but the understanding that in this case, in contrast to our dramatic tendency to become hysterical whenever it seems that the Israeli ethos may be threatened, the separation no longer threatens it.

 

The issue of separating Memorial Day and Independence Day demands reconsideration and a creative solution, because in this country, tragically, there are always more fallen soldiers and grieving families.

 

 


פרסום ראשון: 04.14.13, 21:27
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