Tami Arad: 'All I want to know is what became of him'
Nearly 30 years after Israel Air Force navigator Ron Arad's plane was shot down over Lebanon, Tami Arad talks about the long years in which she fought for his release – and of her fears that he will be forgotten.
As the family of Israel Air Force navigator Ron Arad marks nearly 30 years since he was taken captive by the Amal terrorist organization after his aircraft was shot down in Lebanon, his wife Tami says that all she wants to know is what became of him.
"I don't deal with the issue of bringing him to 'kever Israel' (burial in Israel)," she said in an interview with Yedioth Aharonoth published Friday. "We always thought that we shouldn't have to 'pay' for bodies. Ron's mother said years ago, 'if Ron is not alive, don't pay anything - nothing, nothing, for his body. All we want to know is what happened to him. We don't know anything."
Tami mentioned that she was once informed that her husband was dead. "It was after seven years," she said. "Information was received about Ron's death, but it was ruled out after a week. The source who gave the information took back his claim and denied it. During that week, I sat a sort of shiva (Jewish seven days of mourning) in the dark – I weeped, mourned and did some soul searching.
"After a week passed and they returned Ron to life without any sign of life from him, I struggled connecting to optimism. My confidence in the information that I received was irreversibly undermined. "
Nearly three decades have passed since Ron Arad fell into captivity. Yuval, his daughter, who was then fifteen months old, is now 29 and a half - older than her father on the day he was captured.
"I try not talk about it with her," Tami said "I think it came up sometime, but not on the birthday itself. What can I tell her, 'Yuvali, you're older than your father?' She knows. She grew up without that father, she waited for him for many years. But Yuval is here and Yuval is alive and Yuval is fine. It's very important for me that we won't be seen as that 'poor family and poor Yuval who was left without a father'. There are plenty of children in Israel that grew up without a father, and I'm not the only one who was left alone."
"I want to pass the weight from us, to Ron," she continued. "We were left behind and went through difficult things, but we keep on living our lives. He is there alone, think about him.
Tami said she fears her husband will be forgotten. "We later got the diaries he wrote," she said. "We could see his anxiety, his distress, his longings, and his understanding that he most likely won't return. Ron is the one who paid the price. Only Ron. In several years, no one will remember Ron. They won't even know who Ron Arad is."
They were a young couple who lived at the Ramat David Air Force Base when Ron Arad was captured by members of the Amal Shi'ite militia after his aircraft was shot down in Lebanon, in 1986. Tami was 26-years-old. Ron was two years older than her.
"I remember everything in detail." Tami said, referring to the message that split her life in two – before and after Ron was taken captive. "I remember the physical symptoms that accompany panic attacks. It was clear to me that everything had turned upside down but I did not realize to what extent. I had no idea what we had gotten into."
"A few months after Ron was taken captive, we met former captives from his 'Hammers' squadron. They said in a clear cut manner: 'There's no role for you to fill. Just be patient. Captivity is a period that passes.' We had received the impression that the defense establishment was taking care of Ron Arad's return, and we trusted that they knew what they were doing."
Tami said that "in the first few years, before the organization (the "Born to be Free" organization seeking information about Arad) was established and the campaign fighting for Ron's return was initiated, we, the family, came to understand that Ron's captivity is our problem only. We talked with ministers and MKs because we understood that what seemed to us so obvious, was perceived by the decision makers in a completely different manner.
"We met elected officials to make sure that if a prisoner exchange takes place, they would vote in favor, and we found to our amazement that there's a price for Ron. After Gilad Shalit, it's not popular to talk about the release of terrorists, and I completely understand the rationale that stands behind the refusal to negotiate the exchange of prisoners – but I put my hopes in that deal. I remember myself explaining to MKs why we have to bring back Ron."
Recounting her meetings, Tami said: "I brought pictures with me, told the MKs what an amazing person he was, and what an amazing father to Yuval he was. I felt like I was someone seeking to obtain citizenship that has to convince the authorities of her loyalty to the country."
Arad's plane was shot down over Lebanon on October 16, 1986 while on a bombing mission, and he was captured by the Shiite Amal organization.
Letters written by Arad and photos of him reached Israel during the first two years of his captivity, while negotiations on his release were conducted through European mediators. Amal apparently turned Arad over to Hezbollah, and the last sign of life from him was received on May 5, 1988.
In 2008 Hezbollah sent Israel a report claiming that Arad was killed in 1988 while trying to escape. Hassan Nasrallah's terror group ruled out the possibility that the Israeli navigator was transferred to Iran, but a confidential intelligence report exposed by Yedioth Ahronoth indicated that Arad was kidnapped in Lebanon by the Al-Quds Force of the Iranian Revolutionary Guards.
