Ari Shavit. Men who are so full of themselves they stop seeting the person in front of them
Photo: Yariv Katz
Anat Saragusti
Photo: Shem Bardugo
It’s not courtship, it’s violence
Op-ed: Ari Shavit did not see the woman who came to interview him; he saw prey that had to be subdued. It’s not a misunderstanding or a misinterpretation of reality; it’s arrogance and aggression. The good news is that women are no longer prepared to be a silent or silenced victim.
There is a big discrepancy between what American journalist Danielle Berrin
wrote about her meeting with Haaretz journalist Ari Shavit
and the way he described the same encounter. The different accounts do not merely stem from the fact that Shavit drafted a cautious text but from a completely different understanding of the exact same event.
In the heart of this discrepancy lies the definition of the situation. Sexual harassment and sexual assault are not terms used to describe romantic relationships that have gone downhill. The do not describe courtship or a flirtation which each side interprets differently, or a sexual matter—but the use of power. Often, therefore, sexual harassments and assaults occur in an encounter between a “strong” person and a person which he perceives as “weak.” Specifically, between a man of status and power—social, economic, professional—and a woman of a lower status in these hierarchies. So when you read both texts, Berrin’s and Shavit’s, it appears as though each of them is describing an entirely different event.
Ari Shavit and Danielle Berrin; A completely different understanding of the exact same event (Photo: US Embassy)
These stories repeat themselves again and again. In many cases, as mentioned, they involve famous, highly regarded men, whose company and opinion is sought by many; powerful men, who are connected to influential and powerful people in politics or business. Men who are so full of themselves that they no longer see a person in front of them, especially if the person in front of them needs something from them or requires their support, and especially if the woman in front of them looks at them with appreciation or admiration.
That is what actor Moshe Ivgy, IDF General Ofek Buchris, Ari Shavit or Donald Trump allegedly have in common. These types of men feel so important that they are certain every woman wants to be near them, that they can grab whatever they want, that the women around them—even those women who work for them or simply want an interview—are subject to their will and serve as tools. Tools to reinforce their manhood, to reaffirm their power, to mark their status.
Ari Shavit did not see the woman who came to interview him; he saw prey that had to be subdued. Moshe Ivgy did not see the woman who worked with him on a production; he saw prey that had to be conquered. Today it is this woman, tomorrow it will be someone else. And no, this is not a misunderstanding or a misinterpretation of reality; it is arrogance and aggressiveness. This is also the reason why such instances reflect not individual cases of passion or a one-time lapses, but serial behavior. It is so important to understand, therefore, even if it has to be repeated again and again, that it’s not courtship, it’s not a flirtation, it’s violence.
The good news is that the message is being internalized: Women are no longer prepared to stay a silent or remain silenced victim. Women are standing up with their faces exposed and they are demanding justice. Women are not afraid to use their power to fight back. And so, one after the other, men, who until yesterday were the subject of admiration and personal and professional esteem. are now forced to get pull themselves down from their thrown of arrogance. The rules of the game have changed.
