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Sex in public: Just don’t scare any kids - or the horses

Having sex in public is a pretty common human fantasy. In reality, it’s definitely not for the faint of heart

There is an old saying, “It's all right to do whatever you want, as long as you don't do it in the street and scare the horses.”

 

It probably originates from a time when carriages pulled by horses were the common form of transport, but although much has changed since then, the principle remains the same; sex isn't only to be had in bedm or even behind closed doors.

 

When couples come to my clinic in search of ideas on how to break the monotony in their sex lives, one of my recommendations is to try having sex in public. That minimal effort could significantly arouse a sexuality long since forgotten, although this suggestion is not for everyone.

 

Having sex in public is a pretty common human fantasy. In Israel, as in the rest of the world, couples can sometimes be seen engaged in sexual acts in public places. Sex in public doesn’t necessarily mean raunchy fornication on a park bench.

 

Beginners: It doesn't have to be raunchy 

Public sex could be any form of sexual activity in places where there is a possibility of others seeing. The combination of spontaneity and risk triggers a high sexual stimulus for those of us who are brave enough o try it.

 

People have sex in public for different and surprising reasons. Obviously, there is the most natural of situations, when the passion is so strong that a couple feels they have to satisfy it “here and now”.

 

The immediate need gets the adrenaline going in the body, as does the danger that someone might “catch you in the act”.

 

Then there are the couples that intentionally and regularly look for semi-public places as a setting for their lovemaking. The danger I just mentioned makes the experience exciting, exhilarating, and arousing.

 

Still, it should be noted that it could have the opposite effect. Some people could be paralyzed by the fear of someone catching them in a compromising position, to the point of impotence or a refusal to cooperate.

 

Basically, both partners need to be on the same page when it comes to sex in public, and if they are, it is highly recommended.

 

Possible motives for sex in public

  • Intense passion that can’t be postponed
  • Lack of privacy in the home (teenagers, parents of teenagers, cheating partners)
  • Desire to ‘spice things up’
  • Mischief for the sake of it
  • Breaking the rules
  • All of the above

 

Make sure not to hurt others’ feelings 

Of course, when it comes to having sex in a public place, the couple is to take care not to offend other people’s sensibilities. It’s also a good idea to look for places where the chance of getting caught by any type of law enforcement officials is nonexistent.

 

Many men and women exhibit excitement when presented with the idea of a different sexual experience involving one level of risk or another. But they should take into account that this type of sexual expression is not for the faint of heart.

 

If you aren’t sure of your mate’s reaction, there are a few things you should try first. The first thing is to see how your partner reacts to public displays of affection, like holding hands, hugging, or kissing. Reactions to those small things could be a good indicator of your partner’s willingness.

 

A more direct approach would be asking, either straight on, or in a “by the way” manner when you are describing your personal sexual fantasies to your partner.

 

There is no doubt that open communication is the recommended way to go, but it may reduce the element of surprise, and consequently, the amount of fun you have. Still, that type of surprise should be tested out only if you are really tuned into your partner’s reactions and feelings.

 

An intermediate option is having sex somewhere there are no people, like a remote location in the midst of nature, just to experience the difference and test you and your partner’s receptivity.

 

Even just the thought of sex in an unconventional place could get your adventurous side going. You’ll never know until you try.

 

Ideas for sex in public for beginners and old-timers

  • On the roof
  • On the balcony
  • On the beach
  • In the elevator of a tall building
  • In a changing room at a store
  • On a path in the woods
  • In an outdoor Jacuzzi
  • In a public park
  • In a public library
  • In a parked car
  • On the hood of your car in the parking lot
  • In the garden or the back yard
  • In a pool
  • In a phone booth
  • In a train
  • In a plane
  • In a club bathroom
  • In the office after hours

 

A small note, although probably obvious: always use protection and dispose of after the fact. Make sure there are no minors around, even if they are your own. And watch out for horses too.

 

Nava Lerner is a Sexologist.

 


פרסום ראשון: 11.13.06, 15:38
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Couple on the beach (Illustration)
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