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צילום: צביקה טישלר
Male view: Israeli women, US women
'Don't always assume that just because a guy starts talking to you he wants to have sex with you, that's more arrogant than anything.' Reader Jordan from Washington DC writes in response to 'Snobs, Jerks and Everything In between'
Being a 25 year old American guy, I know things are different. I'm friends with several Israeli girls and of course, several American girls. I've noticed one very key factor of difference between American and Israeli girls in the 'introduction phase' and another factor that I've found to be universal for women in the free world.
The difference regards how long a guy should wait before calling a girl he's just successfully met. I learned the hard way that if you don't call the Israeli girl the very next day after meeting her, she'll think you're not interested and possibly have a grudge.
But with American girls (whether Jewish or not), if you call them the next day, you can scare them off as appearing too ambitious, leaving the girl thinking "uh oh... this guy must be desperate if he's calling me already." In the US, guys usually wait a minimum of two days before calling, and sometimes even as long as five days.
'Perfect' guy
But I think the real issue here is what all women seem to have in common and makes things incredibly unfair and a huge disadvantage for guys before we've even uttered one word. So here's what I've learned.
All women have an ideal situation in their mind of that perfect guy and relationship, and when I say perfect, I mean PERFECT. Exactly her type, exact personality wanted, and fits into all of the things that would make everything, well, perfect.
The problem is guys don't seem to realize that there are these expectations of us, and that there's no way for us to know what they are, let alone know that they exist (read that sentence two or three times and I swear it will make sense).
Sorry ladies, while we know the basics of "wanting someone to love, who's fun, caring, intelligent, etc". All of the typical filler people use to describe what they're looking for, none of it matters because there are different interpretations of them based on each person. There's no way for a guy to know. So what options do women leave for us?
And also, don't always assume that just because a guy starts talking to you he wants to have sex with you, that's more arrogant than anything.
More aggressive
Personally, I guess I'm a relatively good looking guy. Girls have told me I'm 'beautiful' (trust me, I'm not, I'm a guy, not possible) and it results in me turning quite red with embarrassment. Now what kind of reaction do women in general have to that kind of pure compliment? If the guy doesn't fit into that ideal fantasy of perfection I mentioned, well, you already know how the girl would respond.
But one thing I know for sure. Israeli girls can be way more aggressive than American girls in every way. For American girls, it's the thrill of being hunted, for Israeli girls it's the wanting what you can't have, once you know you can't have it.
For example, this one very pretty Israeli girl who I work with does not give up. Recently at a happy hour she comes over to me, sits on my lap and says: "So, have you found that nice Jewish girl yet?" I give a low-key "nope" and she follows up: "So I still have a chance then?"
I was amazed. An A for effort! She blatantly let me know that if I wanted to, I could still take her out, but she wasn't going to overtly ask me.
So, I guess what it comes down to in this mess is a matter of expectations. Everyone who's honest knows that looks attract people and personality keeps them. "Looks attract, Personality Keeps" has pretty much become a catch phrase of mine among all of my friends.
I don't think people should feel bad about being honest. I think it's possible that people can become more attractive looking as you get to know them better, but let's face it. If a guy a girl thinks is cute and vice versa starts a conversation and doesn't say something completely retarded, he'll get her number. It's as simple as that.
