We're all our own people. Right. Nonetheless, here's a list of outgoing trends, and a few incoming ones:
Out – Being cool: Being 'cool' requires you to sweat blood and tears to be liked. In contrast, the word 'cool' has returned.
Out - Retro
Out - Sarcasm
Out - Saying things are 'out'
Out - Being a party animal. Being high and crazy was really in for a while. Not anymore. If you want a nostalgic flashback of the party animal, you can find remnants of this dying breed at the "Breakfast".
In – Coupledom. Yes, it's sad, but monogamous relationships plus kid and dog have come back in a big way and the new draconian alcohol law is merely a manifestation of this.
Tel Aviv is beginning to fill up with hot, young mothers, proud of their babies, inhaling cigarette smoke without clearing their throat, providing intellectual challenges under the tabletop with no sweat, improving their toddler's hand-eye coordination with packets of sugar (brown, of course).
Out – Brown sugar, organic food, whole wheat, alfalfa sprouts, wheatgrass juice, Kombucha mushrooms and free-range eggs.
Out – Freedom. Also peace, pacifism, leftism and positivism, love, smiles, and emotions in general. The age of Aquarius is over. Done.
Out - Political correctness, international friends and inter-ethnic marriages. Granted, the Tel Avivian trend is to date the (Mizrahi) Bakri family - but only because they're hot…
In – Kid dating. Young guy dating a woman older than him by at least a decade. At least this is good. But to be sure, make sure to date someone from the Bakri family. A distant cousin is fine.
Coming in – Gentleman nerds. Thank G-d. They're replacing the dark and dangerous 'bad boys', who think they can get any girl, get her, and don't appreciate it.
The nerds are back and we can expect a happy era of a few years with them, until they will go the way of the former nerds we were fond of – they'll become the dark and dangerous 'bad boys', who think they can get any girl, get her, and don't appreciate it.
Out – Sexy. The term 'sexy' is changing. What was once considered sexy, is no longer so. For example, tight clothes, make up, and exposed skin.
Out – Flattering clothes and matching colors. In short, effort.
Out – Thongs. I'm not saying we won't wear one under white pants, but the sexy connotations of thongs are quickly fading out. Instead, we have the tailored version of granny-panties, with designs and loose-fitting elastic, so no one will think we're trying too hard.
Out – Taking Ritalin and claiming to have ADD. If you want to take drugs, do so with no excuses, and if you make spelling mistakes, be embarrassed on your own time.
Out – Saying you've 'arrived'. I think this happened when preschool children started correcting each other on the playground without knowing why. We've finished arriving – It's about to start coming.