Don’t forgive everyone
Forgiveness is often necessary, but Avi Rath says that some things must not be forgiven
At times, it is easy to forgive. Other times, it is very difficult. At times, we have to forgive. Other times we must not forgive.
True, it is not always easy to forgive. It is not easy to forgive a driver who cut you off at the light, and it is not easy to forgive the teller who walked away just as you arrived. It is not easy to forgive someone who manipulated you or fooled you. It is not easy to forgive cynicism or stupidity.
It is not easy to forgive because all those things I just mentioned are painful, insulting, dishonest, and unfair.
However, there is no other choice. We have to forgive, because life must go on. We cannot go through life overcome by feelings of anger, revenge, and unsettled scores. There is no other choice. Indeed, Rosh Hashana is our chance to exhale, drink a little water, relax, and forgive.
We need to forgive, because we are all human. At times, we do not think about the words we utter. It is not easy to forgive because it requires concessions, flexibility, acceptance of those who hurt us, and the ability to show restraint. This certainly is not easy. Yet usually we need to forgive. The ability to forgive attests to strength, mental maturity, a good character, and positive mental capacity. The strong forgive.
However, despite everything I just wrote, there are times where we must not forgive. Most certainly not. At times, forgiveness is not an indication of impressive character, but rather, a sign of a pathetic spirit, weakness of the soul, and loss of humanity. Usually, forgiveness is strength. Yet at times, forgiveness can be a nadir of weakness. With all due respect to Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, I feel there are some things I cannot and do not want to forgive.
Below is a partial list. Some of you may remove parts of it, while others may make additions. However, precisely so we can continue living in a moral, safe, and sane society, we must not forgive some things, even on Rosh Hashana.
We must not forgive a grandpa who murdered his granddaughter.
We must not forgive a mother who drowned her child.
We must not forgive someone who murdered his friend at a club.
We must not forgive someone who got behind the wheel intoxicated and high and murdered six people.
We must not forgive the man who murdered his wife.
We must not forgive the man who raped his daughter.
We must not forgive people who tortured the elderly.
We must not forgive the woman who poured acid on a soldier and blinded him.
We must not forgive the man who went on a bulldozer rampage and murdered civilians, including a pregnant mother.
We must not forgive evil people who distribute drugs and ruin people and families.
We must not forgive pedophiles.
We must not forgive pimps.
We must not forgive the operators and directors of pornographic and violent websites.
We must not forgive Holocaust deniers.
We must not forgive the various types of racists and anti-Semites.
We must not forgive the Nazis.
We must not forgive Iran’s president.
We must not forgive the despicable Jews who met with him and kissed him.
We must not forgive Amalek.
We must not forgive evil and wickedness.
Only those who know how to define the things we must not forgive will have the mental strength to forgive those who indeed deserve forgiveness.
Therefore, we shall embark on the new year and its challenges reconciliatory and forgiving when it comes to the things that should be forgiven. At the same time, we shall be determined and decisive when it comes to not forgetting and not forgiving those who have been disgraced for eternity. We should keep in mind that those who show mercy to the cruel will eventually be cruel to those who deserve mercy, and that those who forgive the kind of wickedness in the above list are ultimately being cruel to righteous people.
May this be a happy, joyful, and sweet new year.
