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Aziz Ansari accused of sexual assault

#MeToo takes one step forward and two back

Opinion: Even those men who show contrition over their culpability - like comedian Aziz Ansari - are mostly preoccupied with their own redemption, while the women who take the brave step to speak out, remain behind

The case of famous American comedian Aziz Ansari was an unusual moment in the #MeToo movement's story.

 

 

Unlike most of those accused, who were white rich and powerful men - 50 years old in the case of Louis C.K. or 80 in the case of Charlie Rose - Ansari is a 35 year old son of immigrants from India, a sophisticated and forward thinking comedian who had the attention of an entire generation.

 

Aziz Ansari accused of sexual assault
Aziz Ansari accused of sexual assault
 

He was never of the mold of men whose violent patriarchy was exposed. Ansari's story divided the movement more than any other.

 

In January of 2018, a young woman, with the pseudonym Grace, gave an interview in which she described a date she had with Ansari that ended with both returning to his apartment, there she said Ansari wanted to have sex. She said she had used verbal and non-verbal cues to indicate how uncomfortable and distressed she was at his persistent attempts.

 

The night ended with Grace in tears in an Uber on her way home.

 

Men who like to describe themselves as progressive, and quite a few women as well, came to Ansari's defense. Their point being that this event hurts #MeToo because it diminishes real crimes by making a bad date akin to sexual assault.  

 

Me Too campaign protest in Chicago
Me Too campaign protest in Chicago
 

 

There is only one problem with that argument. What Grace described was sexual assault.

 

Ansari's story was dropped from the headlines quickly as any other story, no matter how sensationalist, in the age of Trump. Ansari himself disappeared for a year and just a couple of months ago began performing again all over the United States. One such performance  - held in New York - was filmed for a Netflix show that recently aired.

 

Ansari has not dodged the subject. In fact he opens his act with it: “I felt so many things in the last year or so; There’s times I felt scared, there’s times I felt humiliated, there’s times I felt embarrassed, and ultimately I just felt terrible that this person felt this way.”

 

This is a sincere recognition of the pain he caused Grace, more than many other men would offer their victims but it is still not a public apology. On the contrary, Ansari is preoccupied mostly with how he was impacted by the event as well as his friends who remembered all the bad dates they had had.

 

Almost two years since the re-emergence of the #MeToo movement – which began in 2006 and not in 2017 – The public discourse is still first of all about men who think redemption is their god given right.

 

Few pay a real price.

 

Just last month E. Jean Carroll said Donald Trump literally raped her in a department store dressing room in New York in the 1970s. That was not a headline for even one day.

  

Justice Brett Kavanaugh was accused of attempted rape and he sits on the Supreme Court.

 

Supreme court justice Brett Kavanaugh
Supreme court justice Brett Kavanaugh

 

The women who have taken the brave step and have spoken out, are mostly left behind.

 

Towards the end of his show, Ansari thanked his audience for showing up saying it means the world to him.

 

Unlike Louis C.K. who was also back - but bitter, angry and mean - Ansari was grateful, and the fact that he even relates to the event is commendable, because the show is being filmed and will remain for posterity.

 

But still even if Ansari's conduct is better than that of others, at the end, there is little difference, in his - and his audiences' - eyes he is the story, so in that sense, #MeToo has changed little.

 

 

 

 

 


פרסום ראשון: 07.25.19, 15:11
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