Rabbi Ovadia Yosef
Photo: Gil Yohanan
Thank God I’m an ass
Teacher responds to Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, who referred to secular teachers as ‘asses’
A genius does not know who Charles Darwin is and what the Origin of Species is. Meanwhile, an ass teaches his students about the evolution process.
The genius views Binyamin Ze’ev Herzl as a secular Jew who became assimilated and offered despicable ideas to the people of Israel. The ass views him as the visionary of the State of Israel
and founder of Zionism.
A genius views the voice and singing of a woman as a promiscuous act of prostitution. An ass views it as art.
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The genius doesn’t know who Freud and Skinner were or what Behaviorism is. The ass views them as essential elements for understanding a person’s soul.
The genius does not know math, does not understand geometry, and cannot distinguish an electron from a molecule. The ass, meanwhile, teaches the fundamentals of logical thinking.
A genius explains that the tsunami that hurt hundreds of thousands of people is a punishment from God. The ass explains that an earthquake created a huge wave, and invests some thought in order to find a way to prevent such terrible death toll in a future tsunami.
A genius says that soldiers died on duty because they failed to pray and lay tefillin. Meanwhile, the ass explains to his students the importance of defending the homeland while observing the verse commanding us to guard our souls.
The genius is unfamiliar with Alterman, Shlonsky, and Bialik, but certainly knows how to use simplistic language. The Ass teaches anatomy, botanics, and biology.
The genius rules that it is permissible to pop zits on the Shabbat and remove hair from one’s nose on the holy day.
Under such state of affairs, thank God for making me an ass.
Oved tzur is a teacher at Ramat Gan’s Blich High School
