Marwan, Condi, Shmuley, Arik and Frank

Feb. 20

Thou shalt not laugh

I don't get the fuss about the Princeton publication that included a list of "Top 10 Holocaust movies I've never seen but would like to."

Yes, I confess to the unforgivable sin of laughing aloud when I read the movie titles as "Dude, Where's My Family", "A Week at Bergen-Belsen" and "Exterminate the Fockers." (Does anyone have the full list? I can't find it online. Send it to us via Red Email.)

Jacob Savage and Rob Buerki, the two Nassau Weekly editors who came up with the list, are Jewish. No suprise there. Mel Brooks made a career with this type of humor. But unlike Mel, some suggest these two need to be disciplined. I wonder if Mel would find this funny.

Don't people have a sense of humor anymore? Or has American academia become even more PC than when I left the U.S. eight years ago?

Perhaps some of Princeton's big Jewish donors didn't like the list.

Maybe we should send them to some kind of sensitivty training course because they lack proper Jewish values. Yes, these two need a trip to Yad Vashem or the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C.

Maybe I, too, need treatment, because I laughed out loud. I guess the fact that for over five years now I've been regularly visiting a Holocuast survivor who lives just outside Tel Aviv means I shouldn't have found it funny. But I did. Lighten up, people. (Clark)

Looking good

I wonder if it was awkward for Prime Minister Sharon to see Condoleezza Rice. Sharon's comment a few years back that he had trouble concentrating during meetings in the White House due to Condi's legs attracted quite a bit of attention.

"I won't look at her legs. I won't look at her legs," he probably told himself before meeting the new U.S. Secretary of State.

Maybe Rice flirted with him, bending over to pick up a pen she intentionally dropped as Sharon wiped the sweat from his brow and looked away.

"Don't you like me anymore, Arik?"

Or maybe he just gave in to temptation and told her, "Condi, congratualtions on becoming Secretary of State. I must say that your legs look as good today as they did when I visited Washington - no varicose veins or anything. If they don't have the power to make peace in the Middle East I don't know what does. You sure you don't want to come to Sharm? I'm sure Hosni would like to sneak a peek." (Clark)

Armed and dangerous

Matthew Kalman in the San Francisco Chronicle on how late 1990s U.S. training of Palestinians in counter-terrorist tactics came back to haunt us during the recent situation. He sounded surprised.

Logic, anyone?

The exclusive Ynet interviewwith the wife of jailed Palestinian terror leader Marwan Barghouti is bound to leave most readers shaking their heads. Among the pearls of wisdom spewed forth by the top prisoner's better half: Anyone who carries a gun in Israel or who serves in the army has blood-covered hands.

Mrs. Barghouti, a lawyer by trade curiously enough, fails to understand the very essence of (the seemingly not-too-complicated-to-grasp concept) "blood-covered hands." For Fadwa's benefit, we shall repeat: "blood-covered hands" is a term that specifically refers to killers. Others don't qualify, sorry. (Yigal) 

Ring around the rosy

Washington Post's John Ward Anderson, Jerusalem bureau chief, writes about how the "government and private Jewish groups are working in concert to build a human cordon around Jerusalem's Old City and its disputed holy sites, moving Jewish residents into Arab neighborhoods to consolidate their grip on strategic locations." He sounded surprised. (Alan)

Holy pictures

Great pictures of the Holy Land, circa 1800s. (Alan)

Zionist milk

Local youngsters and adults are unfamiliar with even the most basic of Zionist terms, and Knesset Member Melli Polishuk-Bloch wants to come to the rescue. The honorable member recently approached a leading dairy company here with an innovative idea – posting photos of historical Zionist figures and sites on milk cartons. Surprisingly perhaps, the idea was warmly endorsed.

In short, while Americans get to stare at photos of missing children as they munch on their breakfast cereal, Israelis soon may have the likes of former Prime Ministers David Ben-Gurion and Golda Meir keeping them company every morning. (Yigal)

First Sharon, then Leo...

Hollywood star Sharon Stone paid a visitto Foreign Minister Silvan Shalom, who fractured two ribs after stepping off a runway in Switzerland before the Davos conference. Our basic instinct tells us the sick call made the pain a bit more bearable. Stone supposedly promised to visit the country. A week later, in New York, our peripatetic FM invited Leonardo DiCaprio(last item) to make his first visit. Shall we have a poll on who shows first? Write to us and let us know. Use talkback (below). (Alan)

Who's the man?

Throughout his career, Prime Minster Ariel Sharon has made a name for himself as a tough, uncompromising fighter who does not shy away from confrontation. Yet for Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, this is apparently not enough. In fact, the rabbi wants to see a stronger figureleading Israel, and he has just the right prototype in mind - U.S. President George W. Bush. Hmmm...Arguing that Sharon isn't a strong leader is like saying Saddam Hussein isn't evil enough. (Yigal)

The country's official languages are Hebrew and Arabic, but if you happen to be a Russian speaker who requires medical assistance, you should have no trouble either, thanks to a new ventureat a Tel Aviv hospital. Staff at Assuta Medical Center have been provided with Russian phrasebooks, in a bid to ease communication with immigrants. (Yigal)

Wallenberg commemoration a disgrace

It happened such a long time ago (World War II), and this Wallenberg character only saved thousands of Jews from the hands of the Nazi killing machine, so why should Israel pay proper tribute to the former Swedish diplomat? How is it that a true saint such as Raoul Wallenberg is not worth more than a special Knesset session (held for the first time!) in Israel, land of the Jews and home of the forgetful? (Dan)

Orange you glad I knocked?

Orange is hot right now. Saturn’s moon Titan has an orange surface; outraged Republicansin Washington state wore orange to protest a contested election. Their ribbons echoed the orange vests, scarves and hats people in Ukrainewore last year to protest their disputed presidential election. The latest orange sensation, of course, is Christo's project, "The Gates," in New York's Central Park.

Here, opponents of the government-backed disengagement from the Gaza Strip and parts of the northern West Bank have been wearing orange as their symbol.

There may be no connection, but orange is becoming more popular in fashion design, too, and is being mentioned as one of the many vibrant colors in fashion this year.

My question is, what would Frank Sinatra have to say about all of this? Orange was Sinatra’s favorite color; I guess it went well with his blue eyes. Sinatra owned a 1970 Lamborghini Miura P400 S in a shade of Italian orange with orange shag carpeting. Sinatra’s private jet even had orange trim.

Sinatra had connections to Israel. A cafeteria at Hebrew University in Jerusalem targeted in a 2002 terrorist bombing bears his name. He performed in Jerusalem in 1975 on behalf of the Frank Sinatra Youth Center for Arab and Jewish Children. He sang “They Can’t Take That Away From Me,” at the show. Perhaps that could be the settlers’ anthem. Of course, the Chairman of the Board, as he was called, also sang, “My Way,” which could be Prime Minister Ariel Sharon’s theme song. (Alan)

Dylan the King of (Jewish) rock?

7Q interview subject Elli Wohlgelernter, Rock and Roll Editor of Encyclopedia Judaica's new edition, gives us his list of the greatest Jewish rock stars of all-time, headed up by the elusive Bob Dylan. No surprise there, but should Carole King be up there? Here are my top five: Dylan, Paul Simon, Phil Spector (sigh), the Brill Building songwriters (including Ms. King), and Max Weinberg/Roy Bittan of Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band. Who are your top five? Write to us, and we'll tell the world. (For the truly obsessed, I recommend the extensive list of Jewish rockers at Jewhoo, which prides itself on reporting on and "outing" Jews in public life.)