Less than a week before Israel’s Memorial Day for fallen soldiers and victims of terror, more than 150 bereaved families have appealed to coalition lawmakers with a clear request — to refrain from delivering speeches at military cemeteries on the day.
“You speak about heroism, we live with the result,” the families wrote in a letter to the lawmakers. The initiative was led by Yisrael Shor, a bereaved brother, who said: “If we don’t receive answers, we will hold an independent ceremony in Tel Aviv.”
In the letter, the families asked officials to avoid public appearances near the graves of their loved ones and to limit their presence to quiet participation. The letter was initiated by Shor, whose brother Avida was killed in a military operation when Yisrael was just 15, and whose stepson Itai Sharon died years later during a selection process for an Air Force pilot course. Itai’s father, a combat helicopter pilot, was killed during military activity when his Yasur helicopter crashed due to a technical failure.
“Do not come to speak at the cemetery near the graves of our loved ones,” the families wrote. “Their resting place is not a political stage for delivering divisive messages.” They called for a change in the nature of the ceremonies: fewer political speeches, more respectful presence. “Do not turn this day into a stage. Do not glorify sacrifice or sanctify the dead,” the letter said.
The families stressed that, for them, the public discourse surrounding Memorial Day often distances from the personal experience of loss. “Our loved ones did not ask to die. They were living people, with names and faces. Their death is not a story — it is loss. You speak about heroism. We live with the result,” they added.
The letter goes on to level sharper criticism at decision-makers: “You say, ‘Our hearts are with you.’ But the heart is not where decisions are made. Because if it were, we would not be joining more and more bereaved families.” The families also link policy decisions to ongoing bereavement: “Do not ask us to carry our pain while you create the next pain.”
According to Shor, if coalition members do not respond, the families are considering an alternative ceremony. “If we do not receive answers, we will hold an independent memorial ceremony in Tel Aviv,” he said. The appeal comes against the backdrop of growing tensions in recent years surrounding Memorial Day ceremonies, where the presence of politicians at cemeteries has often become a point of friction with bereaved families. Some families view it as an expression of national recognition, while others feel it exploits a sensitive setting for political purposes.
In the current letter, the families sought to draw a clear line between remembrance and politics. “Do not look at us on Memorial Day if the next day you return to the same path. If you choose to speak, tell the truth: this path creates more bereavement. And if you bear responsibility, change it,” they wrote. The families concluded by emphasizing that, for them, this is a basic request for respect: “This is the only honor we ask for our loved ones, and the only responsibility placed upon you.”
First published: 17:36, 04.15.26