There are moments we rarely discuss —- not at family dinners, not with our grandchildren - but everyone remembers them. For example, the first time we watched porn. For some, it was an innocent click on the wrong website; for others, a disc left in a parent's computer, or a videotape secretly shared between friends. Some understood immediately what they were seeing; for others, it took time. Twenty or thirty years later, these moments no longer exist only as embarrassing memories. They shape how we see sexuality, relationships, intimacy, and even how we consume media today.
We asked four interviewees - men and women of various ages and backgrounds - to revisit that moment where it all began: what those first minutes in front of the screen looked like, how it made them feel - and what still remains with them from the experience.
"I waited for it all week"
Omer, 42, Jerusalem, single
The first time I came across porn was around age 10 or 11. It was on a German channel very late at night, likely on Saturday. I would look forward to it eagerly. Seeing naked women felt like a life-changing discovery - and funny enough, it was still very mild nudity compared to today.
I remember that first encounter was accidental, but it felt like discovering fire, literally. Shock, curiosity, and all the emotions a child that age could experience flooded me. After that first time, I would anticipate Saturday night all week. If an episode didn't air, I'd be disappointed. No one knew - it was my private secret.
Over the following years, my mind filled with fantasies and scenarios involving men and women. Many more viewings followed.
As technology advanced, porn consumption changed too. In my teens, it was magazines, cards, or soft erotic TV. Later, technological progress made porn far more accessible and explicit, both in resolution and in boldness.
From that first encounter, I wanted more - to see more, discover more. Today, porn is part of my life. It isn't scheduled, but depends on my mindset - whether I feel like it or have the time. On average, I watch every other day.
"At some point, it started to disgust me"
Maayan, 32, Tel Aviv, engaged
I was always around boys, and they were the ones who first exposed me to porn because they knew I wasn,t disgusted or shocked by anything. I think the first time I encountered it was in elementary school - in computer class, someone Googled "Anat's Sex World", and it came up. I was always drawn to extreme content - I had been watching horror movies from a young age, and for me, consuming porn or horror was similar: nudity here, death there.
The first time I watched porn by choice was in junior high or early high school. At first, it was a "wow" moment - people actually have sex! Not implied like in TV shows where characters just kiss on a bed, but very explicit. It definitely turned me on, and there was a period when I watched regularly. It was almost like a ritual - being home alone, parents away, the whole house to myself, and porn was part of that experience.
After turning 20, however, it started to disgust me. There was too much, too in-your-face, sleazy sex. It stopped exciting me; it wasn't fun anymore. Porn clichés became obvious, and I started craving something more sophisticated.
In recent years, there are platforms for "porn for women" that focus on different aspects. It's no longer just about huge genitals or exaggerated bodies, but the sex is still very explicit, which sometimes diminishes the appeal. Occasionally, when I'm home alone, I check what's new out there.
I am very open in sexual conversations and experimentation, but somehow, with partners, I never really watched porn together. The option has always been there, and sometimes both partners agree, but it rarely happens. Maybe once, a partner and I watched together to explore new positions - and it was fun. By the way, performers are in excellent shape; what seems easy on screen isn't so in reality. And in general, porn is just a performance, like romantic comedies don't reflect real relationships. It's not real life.
"Like discovering a hidden treasure"
Niv, 43, Haifa, married with three children
The first time I was exposed to porn was around the age of 11 or 12 at a friend's house. We were looking for some videotape, something to watch, and we found an unforgettable tape labeled "S.B.S.". We didn't understand what we were watching, but we did know that we wanted to keep watching. Since that first time, there were regular days of skipping school, a group of friends sitting and watching a "blue movie". At that moment, it was like discovering gold, a hidden oil treasure. We knew we had found something forbidden and that we really wanted to see it.
Since then, I have watched millions of porn movies. I still watch today. However, I am happily married and a father of children. Today, the place of porn in my life is like all the other things I enjoy from time to time, sometimes alone and sometimes within my relationship. It is not something that replaces, heaven forbid, my partner or distorts reality. It is simply a part of life.
"I couldn't understand what was happening on screen"
Ella, 39, from Bat Yam, in a relationship
The first time I encountered porn, I was only 7 years old. When people hear this, they are completely shocked. What does a 7-year-old girl have to do with porn? Even in today's era where everything is open and every baby has a tablet in their hand, this is considered very early. But it's the truth. Porn is one of the earliest memories of my life.
My parents left me and my older sister, who was then 10, at home and went somewhere. Along with us was also the daughter of their friends, a 12-year-old girl whom I met for the first time in my life then. Apparently, my parents felt it was okay to leave the three of us together for an hour or two. What could possibly happen? The new girl was wild and curious, different from all the girls I had met. Very quickly she started wandering around the house, rummaging through closets, opening drawers. I don't really remember all the details but at some point, the three of us entered the parents' bedroom. The girl pointed to a drawer and asked what was inside, and I probably tried to please her, so I opened it.
In the drawer, there was a pile of tapes. If it had been just me and my sister, that scene would have stopped right there because we didn't know how to use the video player at that stage. But we weren't alone, and that girl did know. She took one of the tapes, put it into the video player, and turned it on. A blue film appeared on the screen. I remember staring at the screen in shock; I simply didn't understand what I was seeing. It was disgusting and repulsive, and at the same time new and intriguing. The girl was much less shocked. She explained that this is what adults do to each other when they're alone. I think it took me years to understand what I had watched. I was too young, and I wish I hadn't opened that drawer.
Around middle school, porn came back into my life thanks to the internet. At first, there were erotic stories, then pictures, then explicit videos. Since then, it has been part of my life, and the frequency varies over time. There are months with zero porn and months with it every day.
I think that pornography, in some ways, also shaped how I had sex when I first started being sexually active. I tried to imitate what was shown there, and the result was years of bad sex where I did "what you're supposed to do" rather than what feels good to me".
Today, just shy of turning 40, I can say that porn is crap. Its effects are mostly negative - it distorts reality and harms the imagination. On the other hand, I really can't imagine my world without it.