Michelle Obama has no problem admitting that she is enjoying life as an empty nester. The former first lady spoke candidly about daughters Malia, 28, and Sasha, 25, and the adjustment to having them out of the family home during an episode of IMO, the podcast she hosts with her brother, Craig Robinson.
“I don’t miss ’em,” Obama told comedian Jon Stewart on the Aug. 26 episode. “I don’t. I love them. I’m going to see them tonight for dinner.”
Her reaction, she acknowledged, was markedly different from that of her husband, former President Barack Obama. “Barack cried when they went to college. I was like, ‘Bye!’” she joked.
For Michelle, having two adult daughters living independently has removed some of the constant anxiety that came with raising them. “Now, Friday nights aren’t wrecked with terror and fear about, ‘Where are you?’” she said.
She made clear, however, that her reaction is less about wanting distance from her daughters than enjoying the stage of life they have reached. “I love their emancipation and growth,” she said.
When Stewart, himself a father of two adult children, asked whether she missed the “job” of parenting, Obama’s answer was equally direct. “No.” Stewart said parenthood had given “meaning and pattern” to his life. Obama was unmoved. “I’m good,” she replied, pointing to the life she has built since leaving the White House. “I have a wonderful pattern.”
Michelle Obama
(Photo: Gettyimages)
And while Stewart and Robinson said they enjoyed being involved in their children’s schedules, Obama had another preference. “I love my schedule,” she said. “I have a great schedule, and it’s all mine.”
Obama also suggested that mothers and fathers can experience the empty nest differently because of how parenting responsibilities are often divided. “I think fathers can be that way because you weren’t there from 6:00 to 9:00 at night, you missed a lot of it,” she said. “I mean, I’ve had so much quality time with my children, so much. I know them inside and out.”
It is not the first time Obama has spoken openly about the transition. Earlier this year, she described how she and Barack were rediscovering their relationship after years in which raising their daughters dominated their daily lives.
“Our girls are grown. They’re out in the big world,” she said on her podcast at the time. “Barack and I are trying to figure out life now that we’re empty nesters.”
Barack and Michelle Obama
(Photo: Instagram)
She said the change had allowed the couple to see one another outside the demands of parenting. “We sometimes look at each other and I think to myself, ‘Hey, I remember you,’” she said.
When children are at home, Obama explained, their needs inevitably become the organizing force of family life, creating schedules, responsibilities and pressures that parents must manage together.
Now, with Malia and Sasha building lives of their own, Michelle appears perfectly comfortable with the next chapter. She still sees her daughters. She still speaks about them with obvious affection. She simply does not miss wondering where they are every Friday night.