For Binat Hoffman, talking openly about sex is not incompatible with being a religious Jewish woman. Quite the opposite. The 39-year-old mother of seven believes that discussing female pleasure, desire and intimacy is an essential part of a healthy marriage and, in her understanding of Jewish tradition, even a religious obligation.
Hoffman lives with her husband, Amir, and their seven children, aged two and a half to 16, in Peduel, a settlement in the West Bank. She has built an Instagram following of approximately 20,000 people by discussing subjects that many people, particularly in conservative religious communities, still find uncomfortable: low libido, difficulties reaching orgasm and the importance of women understanding their own bodies.
Binat and her husband Amir
"Do people think religious Jews don't have sex?" she asks. "It's part of life, and I can't understand why religious people shouldn't be allowed to talk about it. On the contrary, I believe that people who follow the Torah and its commandments should be talking about it."
Hoffman points to onah, the Jewish religious obligation concerning marital intimacy, which she interprets as placing responsibility on husbands to care for their wives' sexual satisfaction. "When a man signs the ketubah [Jewish marriage contract], he isn't promising simply to give his wife children. He's promising to be with her, to give her pleasure and to attend to her sexual needs," she says. "So for me, beyond the enjoyment, there's also a mitzvah [religious commandment]."
From dance teacher to sex counselor
Hoffman's unconventional career began more than a decade ago, when she started uploading videos to YouTube. At the time, she was working as a schoolteacher and social activities coordinator, later becoming a dance instructor and opening her own studio. But she increasingly felt that her real calling lay elsewhere.
"I felt I had a bigger mission," she recalls. Her online content began attracting attention, and women started approaching her for individual consultations. Realizing that her messages could reach a much wider audience, she expanded to Instagram and Facebook, posting videos that addressed female sexuality without embarrassment.
"I started talking openly about female sexuality, lack of desire and difficulties reaching orgasm. I also provide tools and advice, but mainly I encourage women to get to know their own bodies," she says.
Hoffman has now worked in sexual counseling for approximately a decade and trains other women to become sexual counselors. A year and a half ago, she permanently closed her dance studio to focus on this work.
She is particularly skeptical of the promise that a few simple techniques can transform someone's intimate life. "I hate the word 'tips,'" she says. "A tip can help make a recipe turn out better, but when it comes to sexuality, I believe you need to go deeper. Anyone who wants real change can't expect a few tips to do all the work."
For Hoffman, sexuality is far more than a recreational activity or an optional luxury. "My mission is to help women live lives filled with passion, pleasure and joy," she says.
‘They call me a fake religious woman’
Although her religious identity is one of the things that attracts attention to her content, Hoffman's audience extends well beyond observant Jewish women. She says her clients include secular, religious and ultra-Orthodox Jewish women, as well as Arab women.
"Sexuality and the pain surrounding it are universal," she explains. "This summer, I attended a conference for content creators in the United States, and the things I spoke about resonated with people who knew nothing about Judaism, Christians and atheists alike. Female sexuality is still a mystery to many people. The difficulties women experience with desire or reaching orgasm don't belong to any particular community."
Her online success has come with criticism, however. Some commenters accuse her of being a "fake religious woman," while others make crude assumptions about her private life or suggest that her husband must be suffering because of her public discussions about sex.
Such comments once bothered her, but she says she has learned to ignore them. "I'm confident in myself, and I feel I'm doing something good for people," she says.
Part of her appeal, she believes, is her willingness to present herself without trying to look perfect. She films videos even when her house is messy, dances frequently and discusses subjects others are reluctant to raise. Being a visibly religious woman adds another layer of interest.
Her husband, Amir, is one of her strongest supporters, although he also helps her decide what is appropriate to share publicly. "He's a prince, but he's also my compass," she says. "Before I publish things, I consult him, and if something seems too strange to him, he'll tell me, 'Sweetheart, this isn't really appropriate.'"
Hoffman describes herself as someone who naturally has few filters and appreciates having a partner who helps her establish boundaries. Amir also sees the messages and calls from women and couples who say her counseling has changed their intimate lives.
"I feel privileged to be the messenger," she says, while emphasizing that the women themselves deserve credit for making the decision to invest in improving their relationships.
Seven children, a business and a 5 a.m. start
Running a growing counseling business while raising seven children might sound exhausting, but Hoffman says she approaches her demanding schedule with enthusiasm. She wakes up at 5 a.m., practices yoga, travels abroad and organizes retreats while making time for her children and marriage.
Her secret, she says, is managing energy rather than merely managing time. "When I'm busy doing things that recharge me, I have more energy," she explains.
That does not mean she does everything alone. Hoffman employs cleaning help and babysitters when necessary, while Amir works alongside her in the business, overseeing its computers and technical operations. He also takes on responsibilities at home.
"He cooks, not me," she says. "He supports me at home so I can devote myself to everything I'm doing and creating."
For women hoping to improve their sexual relationships, Hoffman has one central piece of advice: stop looking for shortcuts. Rather than collecting isolated pieces of advice from social media, she recommends choosing an approach or professional they connect with and committing to a deeper process of learning about themselves and their bodies.
It is a message that runs through her entire career, from her first YouTube videos to the thousands of people now following her on Instagram. Female pleasure, she believes, deserves serious attention, regardless of religious identity or social expectations.
And for a woman who sees both her faith and her work as a calling, there is no contradiction between being a religious mother of seven and talking publicly about orgasms. To Hoffman, the two belong naturally in the same conversation.