“I have a friend who gave birth six months ago to her second daughter. I was with her in the delivery room and told her, ‘Ma’am, time to pick up the pace. My daughter is about to give birth to her third son.’
"While my friends are busy raising their children, I’m busy raising grandchildren. It’s a privilege to be a young grandmother and great fun,” says Claudine Peretz, 42, from the settlement of Avnei Hefetz, mother of five and grandmother of three.
“I was ultra‑Orthodox and I met my ex-husband when I was sixteen and a half through mutual friends. He was three years older and at age 17 I was already married. After eight years of marriage we divorced.
"We were barely getting by financially but were happy; as I grew older I began seeing things differently. The marriage no longer worked for me and I dared to divorce and lapse religious observance. It was hard to take that step because I was still a child myself, while being a mother of four young kids.
"At the beginning, my parents helped, but I could no longer manage raising the kids on my own. I was emotionally wounded. My ex took over raising the children while I focused on self-healing. Those were difficult years. I went through trials and suffering, but still I stayed close to my children throughout. We always had an amazing and loving bond, and I was involved in their upbringing."
"Four years later I met my husband. I was visiting a friend, my car broke down and he came to help me and drove me home. When I realized that things started to take a romantic turn, I immediately told him, ‘Listen, I have four children and an ex-husband'."
‘What do you mean by 'and an ex-husband'?
“My ex was an integral part of my life. He lived at my parents' with the kids. My new boyfriend needed to know that if he were joining me for Shabbat dinner, then my children’s father would be there as well, as he comes first because he's raising our kids.
"Sometimes I would get them both to meet intentionally, making it clear that my ex was there to stay, as he would forever remain the kids' father. My new partner understood that my ex being in the picture didn’t affect how much I loved him. We married when I was 28 and had a child together. When I married the second time I was a different Claudine and I knew exactly what I wanted. We have an amazing relationship."
When did you discover you were going to be a grandmother?
“It struck me during the COVID‑19 lockdown. My daughter was in quarantine with several friends from her girls’ religious seminary. She called me and said: ‘Mom, I am dating someone and it’s getting serious.’ She was 21 at the time, a national religious student from Bnei Akiva. Instinctively I asked if I was going to be a grandmother and she laughed. Half a year later they married and had a baby. I became a grandmother at age 39. My youngest son was only 11 then."
How did you respond?
“I was delighted because I understood I had a way to make up to my daughter for the times I wasn't there for her. I was also touched to see my daughter so mature and advancing in life, building her own nest. I knew she would be a great mother and indeed she is.
"Thanks to her, I was a grandmother of three by the age of 42; she is an amazing mother. The grandchildren don’t call me ‘grandma’ but ‘mère‑mère’, which means grandmother in French; it touches me and fills me up. That’s exactly how my children call my mother. It feels younger to me. ‘Grandma’ sounds a bit old, and I’m not."
Is there a downside to being a young grandmother?
“The biggest downside is that I’m still not retired. I have to work and earn a living, so I have less time to spend with the grandkids and help raise them.
"In our country you must work hard and around the clock, but when I do have time to myself, I’m happy to spend it with them. I try to help as much as I can and I rarely say 'no' when asked. The only thing that bothers me is that I cannot give more. There is nothing like being a young grandmother. I wish my daughter to be a young grandmother, and she likely will because my mother also became a grandmother at age 40."
What’s so good about it?
“Everything! I feel younger. If being called ‘mom’ raises eyebrows, ‘grandma’ really gets a reaction. The reactions from others warm my heart because they are always accompanied by shock and encouragement: ‘Wow!’ ‘Well done’ and then the curiosity emerges and they ask: ‘Whoa, how old are you? Or ‘How old were you when you married?’ Sometimes clients come into my studio and really want to know the whole chain of events. I’m used to questions of that kind.
"Grandchildren are fun because in the end, when babysitting ends, the little ones go back to their parents and I return to my routine and freedom. Someone else has to deal with the upbringing.
"I never wanted to work in a kindergarten or with children in general because I always saved my patience for my own children; today I save it for my grandchildren and for those who will come, God willing.
"My son is getting married soon and he’s next in line to make me a grandmother again. Having everyone together at my place is what I cherish most. The grandchildren are my life. Thankfully, I’ve never reached a moment where I lost patience or ran out of energy."
A 3-year-old boy and 11-year-old grandson
Karin Yamin, 49, of Savyon, became a grandmother for the first time at a very young age. She is the mother of six and grandmother of three. She always knew she would be a young mother and a young grandmother but did not imagine that when her eldest grandchild would be only 8, she would again become a mother to a small baby.
“My oldest daughter is 28 and my youngest is only 3. I’m a grandmother of three, and they’re all older than my son, can you believe that?” says Yamin. “It’s not easy being both a mom and a grandmother of three. It’s a full-time job in every sense. Some days are really tough, but I’ve learned how to manage and juggle all my roles. I think I grew into it, because I became a mom at 21 and had kids close together."
She met her husband during her military service, at age 19, and they married a year later. Thirty years on, they’re still together. “It was love at first sight, total infatuation, and we’ve been inseparable since. I wanted to marry young because I was a home-and-family kind of girl. I’m the eldest of four. My mom worked very hard, and I helped raise my siblings."
Did you know you’d be a young grandmother too?
“I figured it would happen, since my daughter married at 17 and a half. By 18, she was already a mom, and I became a grandmother at just 38. When my oldest grandson was born, my youngest daughter was only four. My daughter and I raised our kids together; we would go to public parks, kids’ plays, outings. To this day, they fight like siblings."
Not everything went smoothly. Her daughter went through a divorce, and Karin had to step in. “There were times I felt like I was my grandchildren's mom,” she admits. “My daughter was still a baby herself, barely processing that she was a mother, and suddenly came a divorce. Today, I can say I’m a full-on grandmother. The grandkids are older now. I don’t raise them, I enjoy them. They give me massages and make me coffee. They’re my heart."
How do you feel about the title ‘grandma’?
“To me, being a grandma is a great joy, but not everyone feels comfortable with the title. My mother-in-law, like me, became a grandmother at 38, but she used to ask the grandkids to call her ‘aunt’ instead. I love it. To this day, I go out with them and people ask how it’s possible that I’m their grandmother, and the kids just laugh.
"I was proud of the title from day one. Being a young grandma is a wild experience. Out of one act of love came another, and suddenly you grasp the meaning of life and continuity. I’m the mother of my kids, and now I’m also the grandmother of their children.
"You keep asking yourself: ‘How is it possible?', Is it true that they all came from me?’ Now that I don’t have to work so hard to raise them, I enjoy every moment. They shower me with compliments like ‘You’re the most beautiful grandma in the world’. That’s the best feeling there is. When Noam, my youngest, argues with them, I get mad at him, not at them."
Let’s talk about that. You’re a grandma to an 11-year-old and the mom of a 3-year-old. How did that happen?
“That’s what God wanted. I didn’t plan to raise five kids, lose weight, get cosmetic treatments, be in my prime, and then discover, at 46, during my daughter’s bat mitzvah party, that I was pregnant again.
"I had just had bariatric surgery, so I thought the nausea, fatigue and changes were side effects. I took a home pregnancy test, snapped a photo and sent it to my husband. He asked if I had COVID. I told him, ‘No, I have another baby.’ He was shocked.
"I was very worried, because I didn’t know if pregnancy was safe after surgery, but the surgeon said there was no issue and congratulated me. It wasn’t easy, but I’m a woman of faith. I could never terminate a pregnancy. God gave me such a precious gift at this age, and I embraced it with open arms."
How did your family react?
“When we told the kids, the reactions varied. The youngest said, ‘Ew, I want to throw up.’ My daughter who serves in the army asked if people my age 'are still doing it'. My sons were happy but also said, ‘Mom, how embarrassing, you have grandkids, you’re a grandma.’
Once I accepted it, I didn’t care what people thought. A pregnancy at 46 is considered high risk, so the whole family was on high alert. Everyone supported me and pampered me. Honestly, it was the most beautiful nine months of my life. I felt like a princess.
"I had a C-section, and four months later I needed another surgery. It was hard to function, but my family was there every step of the way to help me and take care of baby Noam. Before that, I’d get calls like ‘Mom, the kids are coming to you’ or ‘We’re coming for Shabbat.’
"My two oldest went through divorces with young children, so I had to be a very present grandmother. Suddenly the roles reversed and they helped me. Now we raise the kids and grandkids together. More than that, my grandkids help raise their uncle Noam, who is truly a miracle."
Did the family bond grow stronger?
“What Noam did for our household is indescribable. He brought so much joy and brought us all closer. In a typical home, the kids and grandkids visit once a week. In my house, they come every other day because they miss him.
"On Shabbat, I cook everything and all the kids and grandkids come over every other week to keep the family united. No one misses it. Even my marriage got stronger. I have an incredible relationship with my husband; we fall in love again every day.
"For years, he traveled overseas constantly for the family business and wasn’t involved in raising the kids. Now he’s finally experiencing fatherhood: taking Noam to the doctor, changing diapers, getting up at night. He’s even more attached to Noam than I am, and he doesn’t miss a single moment.
"Sometimes I regret not having another baby right after, just so Noam would have a sibling to play with. It hurts me that he’s alone. All his siblings are grown up, and while he has nieces and nephews, everyone lives their own lives during the week."
And how does your routine look like? How do you juggle a career, kids and grandchildren?
“Day to day, I manage my daughter’s bridal salon and juggle work and home. When I can give more, I do. But when the kids are sick, I delegate to the staff.
In all this, I always make time for myself. Once a week, I attend women’s empowerment meetups. I don’t give that up. I go out, take breaks, and spend weekends with my husband.
"The secret is that everyone pitches in for each other. My youngest brother helps me raise Noam. He’s married with no kids, and since Noam was born, he and his wife have been my right hand. They come over every evening to bathe him.
"Noam has older siblings, so there’s never a situation where I need a babysitter and no one is available. We all have great communication and genuine friendship. That makes everything easier."