Young people are having less sex than previous generations, but that doesn't mean their relationships or sexual experiences are becoming any simpler. Studies from the United States, Australia and Israel suggest that the way young adults approach intimacy is changing, from how they meet potential partners and define relationships to what happens in the bedroom and how they protect themselves.
One of the largest U.S. studies examining sexual behavior, based on data collected over nearly two decades, found that young adults were having sex less frequently than in the past. The proportion of young people reporting no sexual activity during the previous year also increased. Similar findings have emerged in other Western countries, suggesting that this is not merely an American phenomenon but part of a broader shift in how people experience sexuality.
So why is the younger generation having less sex? According to psychologist and researcher Dr. Jean Twenge, who has examined the trend, there is no single explanation. Instead, several developments appear to be unfolding simultaneously: more time spent in front of screens, fewer face-to-face social interactions, delayed financial independence, more young adults continuing to live with their parents and changes in how intimate relationships are formed.
The COVID-19 pandemic also had a significant impact on how we meet, communicate and maintain relationships. If you ask me, it taught us that almost anything can happen through a screen: studying, working, falling in love and even engaging in sexual experiences.
As a sex therapist, I see these changes reflected almost daily in conversations with my patients. Young adults, both single and in relationships, come to me with questions I rarely encountered in the past. How do we define sex or love? How do we talk about boundaries? How do we distinguish between what we see online or in pornography and real life? And how do we build intimacy in a world where the smartphone has practically become the third partner in bed?
From situationships to sexual choking: Young adults' changing sex lives
A recent Australian qualitative study examined how young adults ages 19 to 25 experience romantic relationships, shedding light on a term that has become increasingly common among younger generations: the "situationship."
The term describes a relationship involving emotional closeness, and sometimes sexual intimacy, but without a clear definition, an explicit commitment or even the simple conversation about where the relationship is heading.
Sound confusing? The study's participants thought so too. They described living with ongoing uncertainty, often unsure whether they were actually together, what each person expected or whether the relationship had a future.
Many reported investing far more emotionally than the other person, experiencing confusion, disappointment and pain. Yet they also felt they had little right to grieve the end of a relationship that had never been officially defined as one.
Young adults described living with constant uncertainty, unsure whether they were truly in a relationship
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The researchers explained that although situationships have become an accepted part of young adults' social lives, they can involve considerable emotional distress. There was, however, a more encouraging finding: Open communication, emotional availability and mutual commitment were identified as important elements in helping such relationships develop into more stable partnerships.
Researchers in Israel have also examined whether young adults' involvement in casual sexual relationships is associated with the quality of their romantic relationships later in life.
In a longitudinal study, Professor Shmuel Shulman and his colleagues followed 110 young Israelis over five years, collecting data when they were 23, 25 and 28 years old. The researchers wanted to understand whether engaging in casual sex during early adulthood was associated with the quality of future romantic relationships.
Contrary to their expectations, involvement in casual sexual relationships at age 23 was largely unrelated to later relationship quality. The exceptions were a lower ability to resolve disagreements and a greater tendency to downplay relationship conflicts.
However, when participants' involvement in casual sexual relationships continued and increased over the years, a different picture emerged. Those participants tended to report less certainty about their relationships, greater romantic avoidance, a stronger tendency to conceal information from their partners and more difficulty managing disagreements.
The researchers concluded that when this pattern becomes more frequent and persistent over time, it may develop into a stable behavioral pattern associated with difficulties in maintaining future romantic relationships. The findings identify associations rather than proving that casual sex causes those difficulties.
But the changes are not limited to how relationships are formed. What happens in the bedroom is also evolving. In recent years, researchers have increasingly examined sexual behaviors that previously received relatively little scientific attention. One prominent example is sexual choking, also referred to as sexual strangulation.
Contrary to the researchers' expectations, casual sexual relationships at age 23 were largely unrelated to later relationship quality
(Photo: Shutterstock)
A 2023 review of research on the subject found that sexual choking had become more prevalent among adolescents and young adults in the United States. Researchers identified several sources through which young people learn about the practice, including partners, friends, pornography and social media. They also emphasized the need for greater awareness of its potentially serious health consequences.
The findings were reinforced by a large Australian study published in 2024 involving 4,702 adults ages 18 to 35. Some 57% reported having been strangled during sex at least once, while 51% said they had strangled a partner.
The researchers also found that many participants viewed sexual choking as a normal part of contemporary sexuality, despite limited awareness of its potential health risks. Sexual strangulation can cause serious harm, including potentially fatal injuries, even when participants consent to it.
Condoms: Younger men use them more, older women less
If the way people meet, form relationships and have sex is changing, another question naturally follows: Are their habits around sexual protection changing too?
Here, Israeli survey data offer an interesting picture. Recent market research conducted by Kantar for condom manufacturer Durex suggests that condoms remain one of the leading contraceptive methods, but usage patterns differ across age groups, genders and stages of life.
One of the most notable findings concerns younger adults. According to the survey, approximately 90% of younger respondents reported using contraception, compared with around 70% among older age groups.
Overall condom use remained relatively stable at approximately 62%. Young men reported the highest rates of condom use, while older women were among the least likely to use them.
Among men ages 26 to 45, researchers identified a decline in the use of condoms as their primary contraceptive method. This could reflect a transition into more stable relationships or greater reliance on other forms of contraception, although the survey does not establish the reason.
The figures also highlight an important distinction: While several contraceptive methods can prevent pregnancy, condoms can also reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections.
And what else has changed? According to the Kantar data, the average age at which young people first have sex has declined slightly. It now stands at 18 for men and 18.7 for women.
Interestingly, although young people appear to be beginning their sexual lives somewhat earlier, they are also the group reporting higher contraceptive use. In other words, an earlier sexual debut does not necessarily come at the expense of greater responsibility.
Contraceptive products themselves are also evolving. While studies indicate changes in how people experience sexuality and intimacy, condom manufacturers continue to develop new materials and designs.
One example is condoms made from nitrile, a material that Durex says transfers body heat more effectively than conventional latex condoms.
Ultimately, our sexual habits have never been fixed. They evolve alongside technology, culture, relationships and the societies in which we live. The question is no longer whether our sexuality is changing, but how those changes will shape intimacy in the years ahead.
Shelly Varod is a certified sex therapist, psychologist and sexologist, and a doctoral researcher at the University of Haifa's Sexuality Research Laboratory.